Andy was scared. She was having trouble breathing and concentrating, neither a good thing, as she hurtled down the road at 80 miles per hour. Her mind drifted back to the beginning, remembering vividly how all this had started.
THE BEGINNING.....
She was lonely. Much of her time was spent alone and the computer had become her friend. Tonight, she had found an esoteric chat room, inhabited by other nurses, people like herself, who enjoyed their work and their patients, who spent off-hours learning new things to improve the care of the people entrusted to them. There was a new guy online tonight. He was funny and smart, quite charming. Andy sat back and just enjoyed him, reading his comments and chuckling to herself. Her regular friends in the room were enjoying him also, many of the women vying for his attention. She was relaxed in her big, black chair, quietly spending her evening with people she had come to feel close to and trust. Suddenly, NURSEMAN turned his attention to her. He began asking about her work, her patients, her thoughts. Even though the others were chatting with him, she felt she was the only person in the room. Then, an IM box appeared and he began chatting with her privately.
This was new for Andy. As often as she chatted, she always did so in a room, never one-on-one. Suddenly, she felt shy and slow. But NURSEMAN was very nice, taking his time, asking her questions about nursing, not being intrusive or pushy. She found herself enjoying the dialogue and her answers became more involved, she felt freer. He introduced himself as Gene, from Florida. She told him that she was Andrea, but people called her Andy. She lived in Texas, nearly 800 miles away. Andy found herself relaxing even more. This would be safely distant, safely removed from her normal life.
She liked him instantly. He was clever and bright and had stories of patients and their antics that made her laugh. They began chatting nearly every evening. Gene had just recently been divorced. Andy's own marriage was floundering. Her husband was away more often, for longer periods, and she was home alone most evenings. Gene became her friend. He worked the midnight shift, so his evenings were usually free. During the day, at work, Andy would save tidbits to share with him. Soon, nearly everything became something she wanted to tell him. Still, she would fight the need to sign on the minute she walked in the door, would make herself change clothes, start a load of wash, begin making dinner. But the computer was there, beckoning her, luring her. Finally, she allowed herself to sit at the desk, curl up in her big chair and sign on. And Gene was usually waiting for her. It made her smile to see his happy HI! Then, she would truly relax, smiling contentedly as she began chatting with the man who had become so important to her.
At first, nursing talk consumed all their time. But, slowly, over time, they began to chat about their lives. The chat began with very inconsequential things, then moved to more intimate thoughts. She listened as he told her of his marriage and the hurt he felt when it ended. Andy told him of her husband, her disbelief that their relationship was falling apart. She had married him with such hopes and plans, she had expected to grow old with him, beside him. Gene seemed to understand. He let her pour out her heart to him and he listened.
She found him so easy to talk with. He was smart and funny, kind and caring. When she became so sick with some virus, she told him she would be off-line for awhile, that she was too sick to chat. He asked if he could call her. Then he called every day, to cheer her, give her medical advice, and just generally make her feel better. Lying in bed, forgotten by her husband, the calls made Andy feel special again. Slowly, her self-esteem was boosted, slowly she felt important again.
When the virus ran its course and Andy was up and around, the daily calls continued. It wasn't as if her husband would notice. He was around less and less, always on the road with some work-related reason. Andy found herself moving into Gene's world, enjoying his calls, as he told her the little things that made his days and his life.
Then, so slowly, he seduced her. He made her feel special, intelligent, sexy. The talk turned to more and more intimate subjects as Gene led her inexorably into personal revelations and desires. She found herself aching for him, wanting to be with him. He never called her Andy, but said Andrea instead, insisting that the more formal name suited her. She loved hearing him say her name. He began whispering of things he wanted to do with her, to her. She could close her eyes and imagine it, feel his hands as they slid smoothly over her body. Her nipples began hardening at the sound of his voice, her pinkness began weeping for him as he spoke. He encouraged her, telling her to feel him, to let him touch, explore. Soon, her own fingers were busy, surrogate for his, touching and pleasing. She moved closer and closer to the edge, sure the next conversation would make her lose control. She fought it because it didn't seem right. Yet, she was totally under his spell, willing and wanting so much from him. The calls would frustrate her because of her battling feelings. Finally, she gave in, allowed herself to just feel and not think. Even so, the first time she came while talking to him, she was totally embarrassed.
She couldn't believe what had happened. Sex with her husband often left her aching and needy. She had learned long ago that if she wanted release and satisfaction, she needed to supply it herself. Now, she came while talking to Gene! How could she have done that? She could hear his voice, and slowly tuned into his words. "Ah, baby, my sweet baby, you have made me so happy. I loved hearing you come, knowing I helped you there. Andrea, you are such a good girl, my good girl!"
Andy listened to him, calming down, relaxing. Then, to her amazement, she began whispering to him too. Her words, things she had never before spoken, poured from her. She told him dreams she had had of him, thoughts she hadn't shared. She told him she was touching him, she was holding him. She was still too shy to say all the words, but her voice and tone told him so much. She could hear his breath coming faster, his speech becoming more erratic, then she heard him come. She felt a rush unequalled to anything in her life. She listened to the man who meant so much to her as he reached the summit, calling her name. She continued to purr soft words, voicing her affection.
This was a whole new adventure. Now the daily calls took on new meaning. They would still just talk, share their days, their thoughts. But eventually, the voices softened and the words changed and both of them would slip into a sexual haze that demanded completion. They made phone love, not phone sex. Their feelings were growing each day, warm and soft. It was important to them to share events of their lives. And it became even more important to share this, this total immersion of themselves with each other.
As the days passed, it seemed there were no secrets, nothing was sacred. Both could tell their private fantasies and desires, both were accepting. The lovemaking took on a whole new dimension. Sometimes, they were so hungry for each other that they barely said hello before words scrambled and feelings overwhelmed them. Sometimes, they just talked like two old friends. But underneath it all was the knowledge of what they could be together.
Then, everything changed. Gene wanted to visit. He had to travel west for a conference, but could arrange to leave earlier, and spend a few days with her. Andy considered the wisdom of this. She knew her feelings for Gene had grown from mere friendship to more. When she heard his voice on the phone, her heart beat harder, faster. When he told her intimate things, she wanted to hold him and comfort him. Mostly, she dreamed of being with a man as loving and alive as he seemed to be. If he visited, what would happen?
Andy pondered her decision for days. She was lonely. She was alone. And she strongly desired Gene. He didn't rush her, didn't push for an answer. He just continued his daily calls, his sweet e-mails. More and more, Andy was aware of her growing feelings for him. Now the calls included soft words of desire and need, promises of things to come, tentative plans for meeting and being together. He was so sweet and he made her feel so special, a feeling she had all but forgotten. Suddenly, without any doubts, Andy told him yes. "Please come to visit me, Gene. I think it would be marvelous to have you here with me, even for a few days. I can show you around and spend time with you. There is nothing that could please me more. Yes, Sir, please come!
The visit was so far away, then, suddenly, it was time. That morning, she was asizzle with excitement. She tried to keep things normal, follow her routine, but it was impossible. She did her early morning workout, her mind repeating "today is the day!" Everything was for him, her shower, her makeup, the clothes she would wear. Every move she made was one step closer to Gene, and she was very conscious of that.
