The Underclassman

Just Deserts

When Mick snoozed the alarm for the third time that Monday morning, he knew he could not afford to roll through a fourth. Still, he laid there for another few moments before he was able to will himself up and out of bed. From noon to midnight, Mick had worked a twelve hour shift the night prior because of the Superbowl. Normally his Sunday evening ended no later than 10:00 pm due to class the following morning, but Gil had asked Mick as a favor to work the extra hours due to the big game. Gil was always pretty flexible with Mick's scheduling and treated him well, so Mick had a very hard time saying no all things considered.

Mick shuffled down the hall to his bathroom with his eyes still shut much of the way. He took a long, hot shower which did absolutely nothing to rouse himself any further. Afterwards, as he stood at one of the lavatory's sinks lazily brushing his teeth in front of the mirror, Mick informed the bleary-eyed reflection looking back at him that, "Today is going to suck."

Mick knew there was no use in wasting time on coffee this day and opted instead for the last can of Monster Energy still hanging around in his fridge. By the time he walked into the foyer of the science building he had downed the drink, so Mick tossed the aluminum container in the blue recycling receptacle and purchased a second beverage from the vending machine down the hallway.

Even on this morning, he was habitually early as usual and arrived before all but three of his fellow chemistry classmates. Mick wanted nothing more than to put his head down on the desk for the fifteen minutes remaining before class was scheduled to start but he refused to be looked on as a slouch. He opened his chemistry textbook and propped his head up with the palm of his hand, then began to slowly review the current chapter.

"Good morning," whispered Katrín as she slid into her chair next to Mick.

"Good morning," he replied back with a weariness besetting his voice that was unmistakable.

She looked over and studied Mick for a few seconds, then rhetorically asked her obviously enervated new acquaintance, "Quite the party last night?"

He mustered a smile for Katrín and told her, "Worked late because of the game."

Astounded by the unexpected admission, she asked him, "You're working while pursuing a degree?"

"If I don't work to pay for it," stated Mick, "there isn't anything to pursue."

Katrín looked at him in awe and said, "To say that is so commendable seems like an understatement."

"Thank you, I appreciate that," Mick told her.

Katrín continued to praise him as she pulled some books out of her knapsack to be able to retrieve her laptop. "I've yet to meet another student who is holding a job while attending full time," she told him.

Mick caught sight of Katrín's one textbook and read off the title as she placed it on the table. "Fundamental Planetary Science," he uttered under his breath, "Physics, Chemistry and Habitability."

"Planetary Sciences is my minor," Katrín told him as she continued to rummage through her backpack.

"Your minor!" Mick shot back astonished and suddenly a bit more awake. He said to her, "Should I dare ask what your major is?" Katrín turned to Mick and smiled, then informed him it was "Geophysics." "Wow!" he chirped, "I'm impressed... and intimidated."

She gave him a playful nudge with her shoulder then said to Mick, "Didn't I catch somewhere you're an engineering major?" He answered back, "Guilty as charged."

"I'm hoping to be able to complete the degree in five years," stated Katrín, "Then I'd like to pursue a master's degree in renewable energy concentrating in geothermal."

Mick said, "You told me something the other day about your father and renewable energy."

She smiled at her classmate, pleasantly surprised that he had remembered that detail from their first conversation with each other. "He is a fellow at a renewable energy thing tank," Katrín told Mick, "And a visiting professor in the College of Natural Sciences and Mathematics at the University of Denver where he lectures on environmental science and climate change."

"So you are following in your father's footsteps." observed Mick.

"You could say that," answered Katrín, "and because renewable energy is so important to Iceland."

"Then why aren't you attending Denver?" he queried, "If you don't mind me asking?"

"Because I originally enrolled here as a cultural anthropology major then decided to switch," Katrín told him, "Hence the five-year goal."

"Those are two distinctly different pursuits," Mick stated.

"Anthropology was my mother's influence for sure," admitted Katrin, along with "and my love for the country I was born in and the country they were born in."

"Is your mother an anthropologist?" pressed Mick.

"She's actually an adjunct instructor for the Nordic Studies Program at Colorado Boulder," Katrín informed her desk mate. "Enough about me and my parents," insisted Katrín, preferring to hear Mick speak for a while, "Tell me about you and your family." She could tell immediately by his sudden change of his visage that her request made him uncomfortable.

"Nothing much to tell," started Mick, before telling her further that his dad worked for the state highway administration plowing in the winter and mowing grass in the summer, and that his mom was a bookkeeper for a small family-owned appliance store.

"I take it you are not close with them," Katrín inquired.

"I actually try to avoid them as much as possible," he admitted to her.

Before the conversation could continue any further or become any more uncomfortable, it ended unceremoniously when the instructor walked into the classroom and slowly made his way to the front. "Alright everyone," said Professor Dannenberg as he set his battered satchel down top of the desk, "we have a fair amount of material to cover today."

* * *

On Wednesday morning, Mick's alarm sounded at 8:00 am just as he had intended it to. He quickly silenced the obnoxious noise and rolled over knowing that unlike Monday, he could afford to linger for a while. A few placid minutes were not to be had however as Mick tossed back and forth due to the unavoidable urge to fondle his balls. Too annoyed to attempt to continue to lay there any longer, he got up out of bed and moseyed to his wardrobe to collect everything he needed for a shower.

Mick exited his dorm room and strolled down the corridor towards his shower, subconsciously fidgeting with his nuts as he went. He pulled open the door and deposited his toiletries kit on a shelf above one of the sinks as he passed by en route to the shower area where he hung up his towel. Prior to beginning his morning lavation, Mick returned to one of the heads to first relieve himself. As he stood there holding himself in his hand, Mick continued to scratch at his itchy nuggets with his ring and pinky fingers.

Upon exiting the stall, he snatched the bottles of body wash and shampoo from his kit then returned to the showers. When the water had reached the desired temperature, Mick stepped into the inviting embrace of the deluge and squeezed out a dollop of shampoo into his palm, then began to wash his hair. When he ran his sudsy hand down and over his junk he quickly remembered that there was not anything down there to shampoo anymore. Rubbing himself was rather soothing however so Mick continued to do so and as he did, he came to realize that something had been irritating him since waking up and that something was that his short and curlies had already begun to grow out and were currently quite prickly. They itched, and Mick had trouble keeping his hands off his sack for more than any given half a minute.

Mick contemplated possible remedies while the hot water repeatedly pattered against his back. The idea of shaving his genitals every few days to avoid the issue was a non-starter, and it was not like Mick was so totally enamored with being hairless to begin with. The manner in which the now bald, tender skin of his scrotum tended to cling to his leg like a wet tissue without provocation was sort of disconcerting to him. Dusting his testes with baby powder might help to keep them from sticking to his thigh thought Mick, but he did not have any talcum handy and he certainly did not want to ask Abby and open himself up to any questions. Mick pondered applying some aftershave balm to his balls, but that was for skin irritation after shaving, not the start of stubble. Reality was, he was just going to have to grin and bear it until the problem naturally solved itself by his pubes growing out.

After finishing with his shower and a shave of his facial hair only, Mick returned to his dorm room to get dressed and have a little something to eat before leaving for class. The entire time he sat there nibbling on a granola bar and reading the news online, the urge to scratch his gonads was nearly uncontrollable. When the clock reached 9:10 a.m., Mick placed his laptop in his backpack and headed out the door for chemistry.

Not long after Mick had taken his seat in the chemistry classroom, Katrín flopped herself down in the adjacent chair and said good morning to him. He was instantly dazzled by how lovely his classmate appeared. Katrín's light blonde hair was braided on both sides of her face and the intertwining locks wrapped over top of her head from ear to ear reminiscent of a milkmaid. She was wearing a deep red corduroy jumper overtop a black turtleneck with dark hosiery and suede ankle boots. "Good morning," said Mick, telling her that, "You look really nice today."

With her head slightly bowed, Katrín turned and looked over her shoulder at Mick demurely, batted her eyelashes several times for effect and asked him, "Don't I look really nice every day?"

He laughed silently while nodding his head before responding, "Today... more so than usual."

The two new acquaintances continued to chit-chat for a few minutes before they both turned their attention to the chapter in their textbooks concerning the subject matter for the day's lecture. Before long, Mick began to move uncomfortably about in his chair. He tried in vain to will himself to remain motionless, but the area behind his scrotum and between Mick's legs was maddeningly irritating. He could not prevent his bottom from twitching involuntarily as he sat in the chair so Mick would occasionally shift as if naturally changings positions to be able to grind his gooch against the seat for a fleeting moment of relief. To make matters worse, Mick's balls were also screaming and the urge to reach down and scour himself with his fingernails was bordering on uncontrollable. He knew there was no way to nonchalantly scratch himself without it being noticed by someone, especially Katrín. Unfortunately for Mick, his peculiar movements had already attracted the curiosity of the neighbor sitting next to him.

"Are you okay?" inquired Katrín.

"I'm fine," answered Mick as he continued reading and doing his best to play it off and act like he had no idea where the question was coming from.

"When I was little," started Katrín, "we had this toy poodle that had worms." Mick looked up from his textbook and peered over at new friend with his brow furrowed, and in disbelief wondering if she was really going to go where he thought she was. "The dog would squirm around like you're doing," said Kat, who was unable to keep herself from chuckling, "right before he would drag his butt across the rug!" Mick turned impassively away and went back to his reading, but that did not stop her. "You're not going to sit down in the aisle on the carpet, are you?" jested Katrín.

Suddenly it felt like he was sitting next to and being needled by Abigail. Mick knew Kat was just yanking his chain, but it irked him nonetheless and only added to his aggravation. To make matters worse, Perry Betrand marched into the room three minutes after class was scheduled to start and declared he would be leading the lecture in the professor's absence. If there was one trait that annoyed Mick more than any other, it was tardiness.

Katrín refused to relent, softly uttering, "Ohhhhh," as if some revelation had suddenly come to her. "Maybe it isn't worms," she wondered aloud, "but a critter of another sort?" Mick did his best to ignore Kat and act like she was not there. "Whatever it is," Katrín said assuredly, "I'm sure there's a medication available," she jested further.

"Today we will be starting the chapter on Atoms, Molecules and Ions," announced Perry as he wrote several bullet points on the white board residing in the front corner of the room.

Undeterred, Katrín persisted in hammering her target. "My new bestie Mick... putting the V-D in Valentine's Day," she goaded. "I should have picked another spot," Kat then told him, "I don't want any of your bugs jumping onto me."

In frustration, Mick rapped the top of the desk with the knuckles of his clenched hand, and none to quietly. "I don't have crabs!" he blurted out, doing his best to say it under his breath and keep it a two-person conversation.

"Is there a question?" asked Perry, who had twisted halfway around from the white board to look in the general direction of the noise. Mick said not a word as Katrín bowed her head and placed the edge of her hand under her forehead to cover her face and shield from public view that she was cracking up laughing.

Once Perry had turned back towards the board, Mick said to Katrín, "Takes some nerve to say what you've said to someone you just met."

Kat smiled and gave Mick a playful nudge with her shoulder, just as she had during the previous chem class. "All jokes aside," she said to him, "I'm sure there is an untold number of young ladies out there who would love for you to be their valentine."

* * *

"I'd ask if you'd care to swing by the food court with me," Mick said to Abigail, "but I have to assume you have better dining plans for Valentine's Day," he remarked, as they both gathered up their belongings at the end of Calculus class on Wednesday afternoon.

"I'd love to join you," responded Abby before continuing, "but I must ask for a raincheck," she requested.

"Is he taking you some place nice?" inquired Mick,

he

being her boyfriend Jimmy.

"We have reservations for six forty-five at Bistro Ten," answered Abby.

"Nice!" exclaimed Mick,... "Swanky!"

Bistro Ten was a small but highly recommended restaurant that shared one half of the top floor in the Silverlode Hotel which ironically had been build in 1899 after the Colorado silver boom had waned. The eatery was opened and operated by a local chef who specialized in creating dishes from farm-raised game which was historically native to the area such as quail, bison and elk, with the signature offering being a wood fire grilled whole Cutthroat Trout with wild rice and asparagus. Connoisseurs could not be shy about opening their wallets and with having one of the best vantage points to take in the surrounding scenery, especially at the close of day, it certainly factored into the price of the dining experience. After having enjoyed a gourmet meal, it was not uncommon for patrons to be lured next door to the nightclub Elevation by the sound of live blues or jazz, and the possibility of some additional cocktails and dancing.

"How in the world did you convince Jimmy to spring for that place?" asked Mick as they exited the classroom.

"Well..." started Abigail evasively. "I kind of strongly suggested it," she continued, "and in the end we agreed to each pay for our own meal."

"What!" Mick roared, "You're effing kidding me!"

"Wish I was," said Abby before admitting, "His big idea was to go to Olive Garden then catch a movie at the cineplex."

This was not one of those times when Mick found himself lost for words. In fact, there was plenty he wanted to say but he did not want to make Abigail feel any worse than what he figured she did already. Mick knew that it had to be embarrassing for Abby to admit that her boyfriend did not seem like he cared in the least to make this a special day for her, on top of her having to pay for her own dinner on Valentine's Day of all days. Abigail had an extremely kind heart and was giving to a fault. She deserved much, much better... but this was not the first time Mick thought that. He felt anger knowing that this certainly pained Abby, and regret for having reacted and said what little he had already about the matter.

"Hopefully you'll get to catch the end of sunset," said Mick in an attempt to put a positive spin on the exchange.

Eager to steer the conversation in a different direction herself, Abby asked her friend, "And what about you?"

"What about me?" he replied, answering her question with a question.

"No hot date tonight?" she probed.

Mick told her, "Just studying and maybe a rum and coke and whatever basketball or hockey game happens to be on."

"You're the only guy in a dormitory full of girls," stated Abby as she continued along with her inquisition, "and you don't have any special plans for Valentine's Day?"

"Can't say that I do," Mick conceded.

When the pair reached the dining hall, he wished Abby a happy Valentine's Day before his friend continued onward destined for their dormitory. Mick had a hankering for a medium-done hamburger on a toasted Kaiser roll complete with cheddar, bacon, soda straw onion rings and spicy barbeque sauce, and a basket o' fries. As he walked into the building however, Mick began to think better of his impending choice for dinner. The semester was not even two weeks old and as he continued to adjust to his new class schedule and course workload, Mick had yet to settle into a regular exercise routine and felt a bit guilty about his recent lack of workouts. He wrung his hands, searching for justification to indulge his cravings, but Mick ultimately settled instead for the healthier choice of a portobello mushroom sandwich on brioche garnished with arugula, tomato, mozzarella, and garlic pesto spread, complimented with a side of grilled vegetable salad.

It was uncharacteristically peaceful that afternoon in the food court's atrium and Mick was content to linger by the gas fireplace for a while and begin his reading for the following day's classes. When he got up to head back to Bradley Hall it dawned on him that like Abby, many of his fellow students were undoubtedly going out on dates for the evening, hence the serenity. The girl's lavatories back at the dorm were most likely packed full thought Mick, and he could not help but ponder the possibility that some of the demand for a sink or a shower had overflowed into his bathroom. "Do I really want to be that guy?" Mick asked himself, the kind who would swoop in like a vulture opportunistically and bang some girl unscrupulously right before she was to go out on a date with some other dude?

When Mick arrived back in his dorm room, he sat his backpack down on the chair at his desk before hanging up his coat. He then returned to the desk but before opening his bag to retrieve his laptop he paused and began to tap his index finger upon the tabletop while in thought. Mick's curiosity about what may be happening in his shower at that exact moment was overwhelming, even more so than his earlier desire to wolf down the hamburger. He ran his tongue back and forth over his teeth before smacking his lips together a few times. "Couldn't hurt to give them a brush," Mick told himself as the portabella mushroom and garlic pesto had left him with a distinct aftertaste in his mouth.

Mick plucked his toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash from his toiletry kit and quickly moved down the hallway towards his bathroom. Upon entering the lavatory he immediately began to look around and listen for any signs of transients currently occupying his assigned space. It was silent and Mick initially failed to spot anything out of the ordinary, so he walked into the shower area and found the floor to be virtually dry indicating that no souls other than himself had been in there that day. Disappointed, he returned to the nearest sink and brushed his teeth before finishing with a few swishes of some oral rinse.