"Love is the subtlest force in the world."
(Gandhi)
About four months into my relationship with the man I later married, Derrick and I started having long discussions about our sex life. These often occurred when we were driving to go visit his parents, who lived about 150 miles away from the city where he and I both lived. These drives eventually became the time when we had all of our serious conversations, mainly because the drive was so long and we each had a captive audience to hear our thoughts.
The sex conversations often centered around the little problem we were having. Namely, I was not having orgasms. I assured him that I had never had them with any other man I had been with, so it wasn't anything he personally was doing wrong. I just assumed that we would eventually figure things out and the problem would get resolved. We were both trying to be patient as we experimented, but we were both getting pretty frustrated, too.
One particular day during the drive home, I was distracting him from the road by "sharing" my roll of Tropical Flavors Life Savers with him. "Mmm! This flavor is *really* good!" I teased, reaching my hand across to rub his neck.
"What? Which flavor is it?"
"I don't know. Maybe peach or something. Wanna taste?" I leaned across the seat and raised my eyebrows at him suggestively.
"OK, real quick," he agreed. I kissed him and surprised him by passing the rest of the Life Saver from my mouth into his.
He sucked on the candy for a few seconds then agreed that it might be peach flavored. I popped another candy into my mouth. "Oh, this one is pretty good, too. I think it might be watermelon."
"Well, I've still got the other." He smiled at me. "You're going to cause a wreck if you're not careful," he warned.
"How about we just *talk* about sex, then, if I can't actually touch you."
I was very concerned about keeping our sex life interesting, especially in light of our recent difficulties. I had decided to ask him to specifically make suggestions to improve our sex life. "Is there anything I can start doing or stop doing that would make our sex life better for you?" After all, I loved him, and wanted him to feel like our sex life was *fantastic*. I was also a little scared that our problems might make him want to find another woman who was, well, more responsive.
"Well, it would certainly be nice if you were having orgasms!" he stated unnecessarily. By now, this was an obsession for both of us.
"Yeah, well, other than that, honey." I was really hoping he could come up with something else.
"I don't know." He thought about it for a while. "I mean, that's pretty big."
"Well, we can keep working on that, but I mean something else *besides* that."
He thought about it some more, then stated, "We could do cherry flavored Life Savors next time," he joked. We both laughed. "Seriously, well, I don't know. I guess there is one thing, but I really wouldn't want you to. I mean, I wouldn't if I were a woman."
"What is it? I mean, I can always say 'no' if I don't want to do it." I should have known what was coming next, but he surprised me.
"It would be nice if you would let me come in your mouth." He paused. "But, of course, I don't really think you should. I mean, that's just too much to ask."
So that was it, huh? The one thing he could think of that he thought would improve sex for us (other than the impossible), and I was disgusted by the thought. I quickly replied with a very light and non-committal response, "Well, maybe I'll surprise you some day." Yeah, right, sure. He just laughed and changed the subject, probably wishing he hadn't said it because he knew that I would feel bad about it.
Well, I did feel bad about it, but what was I supposed to do about it? I spent the next half hour or so seriously asking myself that question. I mean, there was a *reason* that I didn't let him do that. I didn't want to. Nice girls didn't do that sort of thing. I didn't like the taste. Actually, when I thought about it some, I had quite a number of excuses lined up. But, the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that all of my reasons were either very selfish or very immature. So, what was I supposed to do about it? Well, there was one thing...
In those days, we had sex many times a week. We were young and energetic, and had lots of spare time. We spent most of that spare time in bed together, fucking in every position we could imagine. Oral sex became a regular activity for us also. I truly did enjoy performing oral sex on him, and offered to do so frequently (we had an understanding that he would warn me when he was about to come, and he always did).
The day after our big conversation, I offered in the usual way. "Can I suck your cock?" He rarely turned this offer down, particularly when I phrased it so bluntly.
"Sure!" he agreed. He always sounded surprised when I offered.
"Here, lie down and get comfortable," I suggested, guiding him to lie on his back with his legs slightly parted. I crawled down the bed and positioned myself between his legs with my head towards his. I looked into his eyes and smiled at him. "I really like to do this," I assured him. I dipped my head down and grabbed his cock with my right hand, my hair falling onto his stomach and obscuring his view some. I inhaled deeply, loving the sexy scent.
I stared at his cock, remembering the unpleasant times when my first lover, Mark, had "accidentally" come in my mouth against my wishes. I remembered how much I hated the taste and how angry I felt because Mark had violated my trust. Did I really want to try this? I reminded myself that this was Derrick, not Mark, and tried to forgive Mark for being young and inconsiderate.
Derrick groaned as I slowly moved my tongue along the top of his cock in one long, wet, stroke. I concentrated hard on _giving_, as my tongue swirled very slowly around the head. Then, I took the tip between my lips, and began sucking on it, my tongue continuing to move across him. I suddenly remembered the day when Derrick told me that one of his favorite parts of getting a blowjob was that exact moment when I first took him into my mouth.
I released him, then opened my mouth further to take more of him. He reached down and held my hair to the side so that he could watch me as I began moving my mouth up and down his cock to the point where my lips met the hand that was wrapped around him. I continued on, sucking slightly, but not hard enough to impede my movement. I stretched my left hand down to reach for his balls. I began squeezing them very softly, loving their weighty feel in my hand.
I moaned to let him know that I was enjoying myself. I also arched my back so that he would have a better view of my ass. I began squeezing him as I moved my right hand a little up and down him. My lips would occasionally hit my hand, which was getting a little wet. I briefly wished that I could move my hand and take him all the way in my mouth, but knew from past experience that I just couldn't do it.
Derrick's moans began to change, and I knew he was going to come soon. He warned me in the usual way with, "I'm gonna' come..." I continued on as if I hadn't heard him, which prompted him to repeat himself a little more forcefully. "I'm gonna' *COME*!"