Rasheeda kept narrating to me her story.
"I was speechless. Hamid smiled and said,
"You look scared. Do not be. I am not the monster nor the stalker you think I am."
He said as he tried to rub my cheek with his right finger tips. As I tried to stand to move away, he held me by my hip and pulled me to the nearby bed, he sitting on the same bed, by me.
"What are you doing, you bastard!? Quit touching me!"
"It is Hamid, not bastard"
"Whatever, why not just leave me alone?"
This time, Hamid seemed angry. I was scared to look at him so I looked down. He held my chin and turned my face towards him.
"Look at me when I talk!" He shouted. I was silent.
"He took his money for his use so I took his wife for my use, you understand!?"
I felt so ashamed of Bashir and so sorry for myself as well. I remained as pious as possible ever since I knew I had to. But now, because of Bashir, I am going to hell. That is what my religion says. If the husband is bad, wife goes to hell with him.
I was still wearing my head cover. He placed his palms on my neck over my head cover and said,
"Rasheeda, look at yourself at the mirror once in a while. You have got thinner. your cheeks have gone inside your jaws. around your eyes are blackened due to sleepless nights. Your eyes are red due to crying almost everyday"
I was speechless. He took away his hands, placed his left Palm on my right thigh and said,
"Look what you have chosen for yourself! If you said yes to me back then, none of these would have happened by now!"
"Hamid, there was no way! I would go to hell for marrying a disbeliever. Even if I had something for you, my parents would have punished me if I had said yes, and that would have been worse..."
"...And is this okay!? Huh!? Is that what you are saying?"
He responded angrily, without even allowing me to finish. Then, he smiled and started rubbing my thigh forth and back. It was something completely new to me. Something I had never had from Bashir. I felt myself getting hot by that very thing. I smiled back at him. I said,
"Okay then, I am gonna go to hell anyway"
I was still crying. He wiped away, saying,
"Your beauty is in your smile, Rasheeda, not in your tears. Smile at me, and thus keep me pleased"