She turned away from her friend, annoyed. "I will NOT!"
They stood in the hallway outside of biology class. Joan was still trying to stare her down, but Ann would have none of it. She finished pulling her books out of her locker, slammed it shut and hurried into the classroom just as Ms. Sturvan was closing the door. At the last moment, the teacher saw Joan standing alone in the hallway. "Are you praying for rain?" she asked.
Joan, shook her head, disgusted. Just about everything disgusted her these days. Her friends had stopped behaving themselves and she just could not figure out how she had lost control. Ann had really screwed things up this time. Who was she going to draw into their circle for Katie now? "Coming," she said to Miss Sturvan, and scurried into the classroom.
Ann felt badly about Katie, too. It seemed that they had managed to get in each other's way ever since they met. But thoughts of the conflict faded as she let her mind wander. She shivered delightedly as she sat daydreaming biology class away. Last night had been ... unbelievable.
* * * * *
To Ann's way of thinking, Katie did share at least a small part of the blame for her own circumstances. Last night, they had all been at a senior's party in Ann's garage – the last one before they graduated and went on to new and different lives. Katie and Lou had been an item for a while. But Katie left Lou hanging – and more than once, too. She picked Tom over Lou in some kissing game. Ann saw Lou's face when he left and knew he was upset by it all but felt helpless to do anything about it. She always had had to keep their friendship a secret. Whenever she talked about Louis, everybody got on her case. But she really got along well with him, and they had fun together. She'd never met anyone who enjoyed reading as much as she did – or who could follow the thread of an idea through so many different forms without getting bored or annoyed with her. And sometimes the way he looked at her – he would have such an intensity ... she thought, maybe ... but then they would go on to the next joke or topic and the moment would disappear.
But last night: She went out walking after the party was over and everyone had gone home. She was exhausted from all the preparation, but couldn't settle her mind for sleep. She loved the feel of the cool night air against her cheek and the quiet hush of the late night after everyone else in her world was in bed. She'd just turned the corner to start back to her house when she saw someone else out walking. Her heart skipped a beat and then quickened in a rapid-fire tattoo. That was Lou up ahead of her! He must have been out here walking for hours. She could tell by the set of his shoulders he was still upset. But she couldn't help herself – she ran to catch up. He turned, startled, at the sudden sound in the stillness. "Ann! What are you doing out here?"
"Looks like the same as you; trying to settle my soul after that disaster of a party."
"It wasn't a disaster! It was good!"
"You're too sweet. And I appreciate that you're trying to be kind. But it was terrible. Everybody is all upset and mixed up. Including me."
"You! What happened?"
"It's too embarrassing to tell."
They walked along in silence for a little while. Ann didn't even notice she wasn't heading home any more.
* * * * *
Suddenly, Ann looked up – somehow she had completely missed Ms. Sturvan's question and the entire class was focused on her – half of them laughing because they knew she didn't have a clue – the other half because Ms. Sturvan had apparently used her "praying for rain" joke yet again. Ann sighed. She wouldn't get to forget about THIS lapse any time soon. And she would have a million questions thrown at her about it as well.
'Too bad for them,' she thought. 'This is one I am keeping to myself.'
Ms. Sturvan moved on to another more willing victim and Ann tried to get her focus back on her class for a few minutes, but soon gave it up again. Recent events had just been too....too....powerful for her to be able to concentrate on anything else – especially anything as mundane as schoolwork.
* * * * *
They walked side by side in silence for quite a while – almost brushing shoulders but never quite staying in contact. It was electric. Gradually, Ann could feel Lou's focus change. He seemed to be concentrating on the electricity, too. She looked up briefly to orient herself and got her bearings. "C'mon!" she said, and started down a long, dark lane barely visible in the moonlight. Lou stumbled a little trying to keep up in the dark, but soon was right beside her once again. He gallantly offered his arm and playfully she took it, resuming a more sedate pace. But her heart was pounding. Up ahead was her special place by the river. Technically, it was trespassing, but the gardener for the Estates knew she was there just to swim – she didn't drink or smoke or start any campfires and solemnly swore she would never do so on the day he caught her coming up out of the water. He had looked the other way when she was there ever since. She knew his dispensation really only applied to herself alone, but even he wouldn't be on the grounds in the wee hours. She could make Lou promise never to betray her secret – and she just knew she could trust him. She just knew...
"Hey! Are you all right?" Lou had reflexively reached for her as she stumbled and was now holding her tightly, looking down into her eyes, her head cradled against his chest. She had tripped on a branch and started to fall forward, but he had caught her and was now holding her easily. She suddenly realized she could not have planned anything better.
* * * * *
The bell rang signaling the end of class, snapping Ann out of her reverie. She dawdled over gathering her things. She could sense Lou two seats behind her – waiting. He had been as unaware of the bell as she had been of Ms. Sturvan's question earlier that class. He was intensely focused on her, thoughts racing. Last night was incredible – INDESCRIBABLE -- the thought that two people could be so... And that another person could make someone else feel so... He sighed quietly. It had to be another daydream. After all, what would SHE want with him -- she could have anyone she chose. It wouldn't be the first time a dream about her would be so palpable. When you invest a large piece of your soul in someone else, the feelings are often overwhelming.
A chill ran throughout his body - a soft smile lifted his lips. If only...
He looked up, suddenly aware that the classroom was almost empty. SHE was standing there – waiting for HIM. Suddenly shy, he hurriedly and awkwardly gathered his things. He paused, seeing but not quite understanding ... and he watched, fascinated, as the warm red flush started just above her low cut collar and rose slowly to the base of her neck. As his gaze rose to meet hers, she flushed completely and looked down. He heard Ms. Sturvan clear her throat in the background. But his teacher seemed so distant – and the background dropped away as Ann raised her eyes to meet his once more. It was a look he'd seen just once before -- and in that moment, the reality of what they had shared rocked his world. He grabbed his books from the desk where he'd stacked them and lowered them to just in front of his hip, shifting his gaze toward the door. Ann smiled slightly and followed his lead.
Ach - back to the real world -- English class was next. Sometimes the real world can be so damned inconvenient! But no one could take away their shared secret... Perhaps it's not going to be such a bad semester after all. He grinned to himself watching Ann weave between the desks moving toward the classroom door -- it's definitely better that thinking about "to and a verb you just put down - an infinitive."
They moved into the swirl of activity in the hallway almost on automatic, returning greetings and answering questions, separate but still hyper-aware of each other as they drifted toward their next class in the separate spheres of male and female. Soon, they were settled in their desks, books open, listening but not listening as the class moved forward in reading aloud from 'West Side Story.' Neither Lou nor Ann had been assigned a part, but seated four rows apart, they could not effectively pass notes to each other in this class, either – not that either one could have put two sensible words together at the moment anyway.