"Please, look at me..." Gina forced her eyes up, non-focusing, in the general direction of Cade's voice. Tears blurred her vision and a tinny metallic sound had now begun to buzz in her ears as he continued to speak "... you know I will always love you, I'm just not IN love with you. But we can still be friends..." Every fiber of her being wanted to scream out NO! She wanted to fly at him, and flail until he felt as much pain as she did. But she didn't. Instead she buried her face back into her hands and began to sob the beginning of what would be an ocean of tears. Gina heard the door click as her life walked out of it. Or so she thought.
Weeks went by, and although she continued outwardly to perform and function in the 'real world', once the door to her apartment clicked closed at night, Gina retreated into a state of complete and utter misery, complete with a bottle of wine and sappy love songs. Even her cat had begun to avoid her. Her mother consoled her all she could, as did her friends, but after they began to talk amongst themselves, they decided that she was in desperate need of some tough love. They sat her down one evening and all told of the woman she once was before he left her, and that they wanted that friend and daughter back. It was then that Gina realized how alienating (and alienated) she had become... and she made a promise to them, and to herself, to find some help and get back on track.
Dr. Brewer's office was warm and inviting. His receptionist, Cherlyn, was in no way condescending when Gina had made the appointment. She had a bright smile and greeted Gina this morning with the same gracious attitude as if Gina was a long-lost friend. Sinking into a soft chair in the waiting room, Gina tried to lose herself in the latest issue of Cosmo that she had brought with her, but she still couldn't get the small voice out of her head that kept saying, "Good lord. You're seeing a SHRINK because that dumbass man of yours left. What a los..."
"Gina Davenport?" a plumpish nurse called out.
"Yes, ma'am... that's me," Gina said, butterflies the size of elephants suddenly springing up in her stomach.
The nurse smiled, "Good morning, Gina... would you please follow me? Dr. Brewer will see you now..."
Gina rose and followed "Astrid" or so her nametag said, down a corridor into a cozy office. There was a recliner, a lounge, and a regular chair... but no desk, no plethora of books lining a wall... it looked very much like a room in her own home. Astrid touched her arm, saying, "please make yourself comfortable in either the recliner or on the lounge, Gina. Dr. Brewer will join you in a moment..." and with that, she left the room, leaving Gina there alone with her thoughts.
Gary Brewer was a striking man. Tall and well built, the women thought him very sexy. His masculine features, dark hair, intensely inquisitive dark eyes, and gentle demeanor drew people in without him ever having to say a word. He considered himself well read, his many friends considered him funny and warm and a great friend to have around even if he DID "shrink heads for a living". Yet he remained alone.
He had had some close relationships in the past, but no woman had ever struck the right combination of sexy and smart to keep his interest for long. A soft knock at his office door stirred him as Astrid poked her head inside. "Gina Davenport is in the conference room, Dr. Brewer..."
"Thank you, Astrid," Gary's deep voice responded, and he began to look over Gina's evaluation questionnaire. 'Hmmmmmm...' Gary thought to himself, 'she seems intelligent by these answers, just very lost... ' and he rose to keep their appointment.
Gina stared out the window of the room. It overlooked the park, and although she was on the third floor, she could still see people there. The tree leaves were just beginning now to take on a faint hint of the color that would soon blush across them, and she could see women with their children playing in the playground equipment. How her heart longed for that. For family, for that kind of connection and love. Dr. Brewer's voice startled her. "Ms. Davenport?"
She whirled to face him, her eyes instantly locking on the kindest face she could ever remember seeing. "Y-y-y-yeesss..." she said, and immediately set about righting herself, straightening her clothing, running her fingers nervously through her short hair.
Dr. Brewer's eyes returned her appreciative gaze, and they wrinkled at the edges when he smiled. He drank in her beauty. No, it was not a classic beauty, but a beauty that came from innocence. He took in the deep pools of blue that were her eyes, the way her hair curled in a helter-skelter manner over her head as if she'd run her hands through it a thousand times a day. He drank in her ample curves, the furrow of her brow that told him she had deep thoughts to think and did so often. He felt himself stir in his pants, and he had to remind himself of what she was there for. His breath sort of rushed from his lungs, and he knew he was already in trouble. He knew right then and there that he wanted to get to know this woman as more than his patient.
She extended her hand, and he took it in his, "Hi, I'm Gina..." Her voice was melodious, not the depressed monotone he so often heard. That alone made him smile, because he knew then that she wasn't terribly depressed, only in need of a little guidance.
"I'm Dr. Bennett... it's nice to meet you. If you will please have a seat wherever you would be most comfortable, we can have a chat..." And so began Gina's journey. She found Dr. Bennett very easy to talk to... and she found herself pouring out parts of her soul that no one else was privy to. She talked at length about her relationship with and her disappointments in Cade, about her struggles with her weight, her struggles with her parents. They talked about what Gina wanted out of her life. Together they formed a plan for her to continue an education toward a career she'd always loved. They talked about her hopes and dreams and goals, and Gary found himself more and more entranced by her.
Then came the day that Gary could no longer justify having her come to his office. He knew she was standing on her own and needed room to test those wings they had built for her to see if she could truly fly. "Gina," he said softy, leaning toward her, "I think we've done all we can do here. Now it's up to you..."
Her voice caught in her throat, "Yeah... I was afraid today you'd say that..." She stood from the chair, smoothing the front of her pants as she did so, and looking at the floor. She knew if she turned her face to him, he would see the glistening of the tears... and she knew he was her doctor, not her lover, so the time was right for her to go.
He couldn't resist the pull of her body, however, and he, too, stood... taking Gina into his arms in a warm embrace. "Perhaps I will see you sometime... " Gary said, hugging her. She melted against him, wanting to beg him to stay in her life. She knew, though, she had to find her way on her own... so she turned and walked out of the door.
A year or so passed, and Gina flourished. She completed some schooling, found a better job, made some new friends. But there was still a part of her that was missing. A part she gave to Gary when she left that room that day. Her mind often drifted back to their talks... she was amazed by what she felt safe in sharing with him, even if he WAS her doctor! So, it must have been fate that crisp fall Saturday when Gina found herself alone for the first time in weeks, and she decided to take a walk at the park by Gary's office. She remembered how peaceful it always looked... how filled with the laughter of children, and the sounds of nature. Now, with the leaves once again turning their brilliant amber and crimson tones and the air briskly clean, she thought it a good time to take a book and spend the afternoon just sitting on a bench, watching life pass by around her. She pulled on a comfortable pair of jeans and a light sweater and her walking shoes, grabbed the keys to her car, and pointed herself in the direction of the park.
When she arrived, she savored the walk to choose her bench, feeling the fallen leaves swirl around her feet in the gentle breeze. The air carried a spicy smell of someone baking pumpkin pies... yes, the holidays weren't far away now. She found a bench near the playground where she could watch the children play and still enjoy a breath of quiet every now and then. Settling back, she inhaled deeply, drinking in the crisp, clean air... but it exploded from her when she heard his voice: "Gina? Gina Davenport! Is that YOU??"
Jumping from the bench, she whirled around, only to be face-to-face with Gary Bennett. He had his Golden Retriever on a leash, and was a little out of breath from being dragged behind the beast... but not any more so than Gina was from hearing his voice for the first time in ages!
"My god... how long has it been?" he continued, then introduced "Ramsey" the dog. Gina knelt down, and Ramsey proceeded to swath her face with his large, wet tongue, which drew a lilting laughter from her. Gary smiled... he remembered that laugh. He remembered those eyes. He remembered everything about her, and had thought he'd call her a million times, but somehow, he always talked himself out of it. Fate was not to be denied, however, and Gina invited Gary to sit.
"Dr. Bennett, I..."
Gary cut her off mid-sentence. "Please, call me Gary. We are no longer doctor/patient, we're just two people... Gina." Her heart leapt when he repeated her name. Probably because when he did so, he reached out and touched her hand. It was as if electricity had been passed through her body. She felt her nipples harden in her bra, and all the small hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Yes, she wanted this man. She wanted him badly. But did he feel the same?
Gina cleared her throat and began to catch Gary up on her life for the past few months. She reminded him of their plan, and then took him through all the ways she had accomplished the goals they had set for her. "I am so proud of you, Gina," Gary said, looking into her eyes, "I always knew you could do it."
