*Hey, it's Oghma! Long time no see everyone! I've been caught up in a lot of stuff going on in my home life, and as a result this chapter just kept getting trashed and rewritten. But I hope you enjoy the fruits of my efforts, and I thank you all for your patience. *
**Disclaimer: Unrealistic sizes, dark subject matter, and metaphysical weirdness ahead. All characters depicted in sexual situations within are of 18 years or older. *
The sounds of impact rang through the gym. Again and again flesh and bone met padding and pleather with ferocity. The recoil shot through Marcus' knuckles, leaving behind a powerful sting. Yet it did not sway him in the slightest, rather he just continued to push through it and ramped up his ferocity. Every now and then, he threw out a kick to break through the combo. Fatigue and pain were meaningless concepts to him. What wasn't obvious to an outside observer was that he wasn't just practicing combos and fighting an imaginary opponent; The only finesse to his movements was the ingrained punching technique. It was as if he wanted to destroy the bag, and already he was making progress. The padding was wearing out where he struck it, and the seams were becoming more and more exposed.
"Marcus?" Matthew's voice didn't break his concentration in the slightest, he still continued to lay into the bag as if he wasn't there. "Marcus!?" he asked again.
"I heard ya." Marcus replied gruffly before launching a powerful superman punch, one that rocked the back around a great deal. "What is it?" his attention wasn't swayed in the slightest.
"Well, we were gonna go out for pizza tonight." Matthew continued, slowly approaching his friend. "And we gotta leave in like a half hour."
"Go without me. I ain't hungry." Was all he said.
"But the kids were really looking forward to it!" responded Matthew.
"I SAID I'm not hungry!" he snapped. Matthew paused and just observed for a few moments, unable to say anything.
"Marcus, you skipped breakfast this morning, you jogged without me, cancelled on Daigo and have been at this empty gym all day. What's going on?" Somehow that was enough to cause Marcus to cease his assault. He fell forward a little, catching himself on the bag and panting hard for a few moments as if the fatigue had suddenly hit him.
"You heard what happened." He said through panted breaths.
"About Darla?" Matthew asked.
"...Yeah."
"Marcus I...I'm sorry." Matthew continued. "I know that's gotta be hard to hear. I mean...I've been in your shoes- "
"No. You haven't." he responded in a low growl. "You never been through anything like this."
"Come on!" Matthew responded defensively. "You were there! You saw how broken up I was when Himawari- "
"When your Breeder girlfriend carryin' your kid said you confused her!" he snapped, his voice rapidly escalating into a shout. "And she came to rescue you just a few days after! I was in that hellhole almost two fucking years, she got rid of the kid and got married!" This was a whole new side to Marcus Matthew had never seen before. He'd always accepted his sadness in jaded resignation, but he had never imagined that Marcus would ever break down like this.
"Marcus..." Matthew was at a loss for words.
"I shoulda known it wouldn't work..." He continued.
"What do you mean?" Matthew asked.
"A Breeder and a normal? We weren't meant to be. "
"You don't know that!" Matthew exclaimed. It was honestly more of a platitude than anything meaningful. But his intent to cheer his friend up was apparent.
"Yeah, I do. You know how much I had to hold back to not rip her in half?" he said with a sigh.
"No." Matthew responded. "You're right Marcus." He admitted. "I don't know what you're going through right now. I guess I just wanted to try and reach you. Sorry..." That statement was unexpected enough to get Marcus to turn around slowly to face his friend. Matthew's cheeks were puffed out a bit, while his mouth was a thin line of somewhere between sheepish and remorseful. It had only now occurred to him that feigning mutual sympathy was a remnant from his witnessing days. A subtle deception in the name of Jesus it seemed. He was going to need to break this habit. "But that doesn't mean I don't still want to help you."
"... Thanks." Marcus wasn't really able to think of a counter to that, despite the grief that still remained within him.
"Look... if you're really feeling worse than I did back then, beating yourself up like this isn't going to help you at all." Marcus paused and thought for a good long while. If nothing else, Matthew was showing genuine concern.
"Keeps me out of my head though." He muttered in a soft, cracking voice.
"Huh?"
"I just..." Marcus looked almost on the verge of tears. It was a vulnerable side to him Matthew had never seen before. It was strange enough to see him in despairing anger, but that seemed to make more sense to him than this. Matthew had always viewed him as strong, tough and resilient... not shaky and morose. "I can't stop seeing her in my mind y'know? The last time I saw her she..." he swallowed hard and began to reminisce. "She was sitting across the table, crying her eyes out. Her folks said it was due to the trauma I gave her or some bullshit like that. But I knew that wasn't it." He sighed, it seemed he was still able to bottle up some of his emotions just enough to keep himself from breaking down. If only just. "She knew I was going away... she knew what their threat was. And it broke her heart."
"If you're still seeing that then maybe you're not getting out of your head at all." Said Matthew. He had no idea where this intuitive psychology talk was coming from. Maybe he'd been hanging around Himawari for so long that it was now rubbing off on him. "And if that bag's any indication, you're drawing your anger out on purpose." That hit Marcus harder than any haymaker ever could. Somehow Matthew had stumbled onto a truth he either never noticed or didn't want to admit.
"... maybe you're right." He said with a defeated sigh. "But what should I do?"
"...Can't help you there." Matthew said with a shrug. "All I know is? You're not going to be a better fighter if you destroy yourself in grief." Marcus paused to take that in, before letting out a soft chuckle. The first sign of any positive emotion he'd had in a while.
"That wasn't bad." He said as he began to remove his handwraps, indicating he was done with the bag. "You learn that from church?"
"A pastor has to tend to his flock." Matthew replied with a warm smile. "It isn't all about giving sermons and asking for donations!" It was a pretty lame attempt at a joke, but he never was one for improv. "Are you feeling any better now Marcus?"
"Not much." He shrugged as he rolled up the handwraps. "But I think I will be."