The Perfectionist

"Are you fucking kidding me????"

I screamed internally as I hung up the phone. My boss had just called me to let me know that Seth the Sales Manager had quit his position and now I was slated to go to fucking Omaha with Tony the office asshole. I don't even know what his actual title is. But I'm pretty sure he was born with a business card that said office asshole on it. Tony was 45, average height, balding, needed to lose 30 pounds and was gross and hairy. But that wasn't the biggest issue. Tony was never fucking wrong and he was smug about it. In an ironic twist, that's actually why he was still a mid level employee. He had no ability to play the corporate game at all I assumed. It didn't matter if you were a senior Vice President or the summer intern, when Tony had the opportunity to make you look stupid in front of everyone, he took it.

June was lining up to be one of the worst months of my life. 6 months ago my boyfriend and I were looking at houses and discussing marriage. Now I had just signed a lease on a 1 bedroom apartment because my now ex BF decided to move back home and take over his dad's golf cart business. I was 31, single, and would probably be dying alone.

In theory, I should have been happy about the situation. Seth sucked at his job, and he had the job that I wanted. I had been assisting in another department but I loved doing sales. This was like being set up to fail though. I looked over what Seth had put together for a presentation, but it was trash. I had two days to either learn the product inside and out or two days to learn the numbers. I decided numbers was the way to go since I was pretty sure that Tony already knew the product perfectly and the company we were pitching to was looking to increase profit more than anything. One thing I knew for sure though was I didn't have time to do both.

I got to work that afternoon taking in all the numbers we had been provided by the company. The current margins they had were 30% less than the market average. Diving in more deeply I could quickly see why that was the case. I felt like we could bump them above the market average in less than a year if they worked with us. I stayed late into the evening building out my model for them.

I finally headed home around 7pm. As I came into the office lobby, Tony walked out right behind me.

"Oh, hey." I said, not enthusiastically, but friendly. "Looks like we're taking a trip together, huh?"

"Yeah, don't forget to bring your ski mask and gun cause I'm not letting you borrow mine." Tony replied, deadpan.

"Huh?" He caught me totally off guard and I didn't know how to reply.

"Omaha. That's where the biggest train robbery in history took place." He said, deadpan again.

I snorted. That was embarrassing. The joke was totally unexpected though and it did make me laugh.

"Ok, goodnight." Tony then continued out to his car.

I couldn't miss Tuesday night yoga so I rose early to head into the office to work on the sales projections for the next two years for the company. I always liked coming in early as it was nice and quiet. I sat my things at my desk and then went to grab coffee. Tony was already there.

"Hey, um, good morning. Early bird catches the worm huh?" I said

"That's why I'm in here "worming" up the coffee." Tony replied, deadpan again.

This time was worse. I had just taken a sip of my coffee and his joke made me spit it out all over the counter. I could immediately feel my face going flush. Tony just cocked an eyebrow and stared at me.

"Are you ok?" He asked, deadpan once again.

"That was funny. You have to know that was so stupid it was hilarious, right?" I asked.

"Yes. I'm a very funny person. Everyone at the office tells me so."

I laughed again, this time no spit though. The self deprecating humor was unexpected. He seemed to know that almost everyone thought he was a monumental dickhead. Obviously he just didn't care, but I wondered if other co-workers had seen this funny side of him.

"Well, time to get to work. Let me know if you need any help with your sales pitch."

"Ok, thanks. I'll let you know." There was no chance I would be doing that. I was going to spend all day making sure everything was perfect so there was no chance he could point out where I was wrong.

By 5pm I was feeling pretty damned confident. Forward projection numbers continued to trend up for the next 2 years. It seemed there was really no reason these guys wouldn't buy from us. Even with not being able to answer any tech questions I felt good knowing I could make a strong case on numbers alone.

I packed up for the day to head to yoga. As I walked out of the office, Tony was still working at his desk. He seemed to spend way too much time here. I waved as I left though and he gave a wave back.

The following day I got to the airport and checked in for the flight. I was sitting down with my drink and scrolling through Instagram waiting to board.

"Well, we're screwed. Security took my mask and gun. Guess we're gonna have to earn our check like real people this week."

I looked up to see Tony with a little smirk on his face.

"Shit, they got yours too? Well I guess you're probably right." I replied, smiling.

Tony sat next to me and we chatted nicely for a bit before we boarded. I was actually kind of upset now finding out that they hadn't booked our seats next to each other. The conversation was nice. We took an Uber to the hotel and both got checked into our rooms. We agreed to meet in the lobby the following morning for some breakfast, then caught an Uber to the meeting.

As I was sitting with my computer in our meeting room looking over my figures again my heart sank. Something had happened to my spreadsheet and it seemed as though every field was incorrect.. All my numbers were skewed dramatically but I couldn't tell where the main mistake was. I was freaking out. Tony came in with his coffee and sat down next to me.

"Get your laptop plugged into their projector. I want to get this knocked out as quickly as possible."

"Tony, you're going to hate me. Something is wrong on this spreadsheet. These numbers are all wrong. I, I don't know what to do. I spent two days making sure this was all perfect and now it's ruined!"

I was frantic. I felt like I might have a panic attack right there. I could just picture myself ruining this sales call and getting fired and not being able to afford rent at my shitty apartment I hated and my entire life imploding. I tried to see if there was an older version stored someplace but I knew that those were all saved on my desktop at the office.

"What numbers are off?" He asked.

"I don't know. I don't know this product well enough at all. I just started working on this two days ago, but I don't have enough knowledge to even know where to begin. I must have mistyped something and now everything is skewed. Their VP will be here in 15 minutes. There's no time to go in and fix all this."

"Ok ok, calm down. This is not the end of the world. Let me see your laptop."

I slid it over to Tony and he began looking things over. After about 5 minutes he had found the field where I made the typo.

"Ok, look here and let's check these numbers. You have this column marked at percentage, but I don't think that's what you want here. You just need this marked at 22%. You have it set at 0.22%. You've decreased everything by a factor of 100. Let's change this and see how your numbers look. With that change, net profit would be 14% for the year. Does that sound correct?."

Tony made the change and boom, everything was back. I couldn't believe it.

"Yes! Yes, that's exactly how I had it. That's amazing!"

"Here though, on your next two sheets for the forward projecting numbers, these seem light. These guys are only netting 8% now, so 14% net looks good for this year, but if they stick with our program and don't deviate at all they should hit 14.8% in 2025 and they could get as high as 16% net in 2026. That's another 40 basis points over your current projections.

He went in and made another change, and boom, the sheet updated and he was absolutely correct. Three years from their profit margins should double.

"Look, this should be a slam dunk here. Your work on this was excellent, you just had a minor error. That's what happens when you're forced to do a rush job. Nothing to freak out about. Present these numbers today with complete confidence and we're going to head home with this sale in the bag. I'll be right here if you stumble at all but I think you've got this."

I don't know why, but he was confident in me. I was not confident in myself in that moment though. I took a few deep breaths and refocused. The next hour flew by. The VP was ecstatic about the projections I had put together. There were only a few little details I wasn't aware of, but Tony had the answers for all of the more nuanced questions, and he wrapped his answers perfectly to align them with how working with us was going to get them to their profit goals. We left that afternoon with a signed contract for the next three years.

The hotel had a nice restaurant and we decided to meet to celebrate our big day. We had a few drinks and a nice meal before we started chatting again. This thought had been nagging at me all day long so finally I just blurted it out.

"I don't get it. What is your story? How did you do that today? How do you have all the numbers just sitting in your head like that? How do you know the technical side and the numbers side so well? And why don't you run this entire company?

"I don't run this company for the same reason I'm divorced, the same reason I got kicked out off my college debate team, for the same reason I was no longer allowed to lead my son's boy scout pack, and the same reason they send someone like you to lead these sales meetings while I'm there for backup. I've been doing this for 18 years. I know these numbers like the back of my hand. But I'm a dickhead. I know I'm a dickhead and it seems there's nothing I can do about it. So when the arrogant son of the boss comes in and acts like he knows everything, rather than helping him or at least just ignoring him, I couldn't help but make him look like the idiot he was in front of his dad. I know too much to get fired, so I'm probably just stuck where I am from here on out. I'm a good sales person, but only with intelligent clients. I blew up too many deals when I got stuck talking to a VP that had somehow just failed his way to the top. That's why you have to get stuck running the show last minute. You're what they call palatable. I am not. I tend toward perfectionism and these days that's looked down upon for some reason. I've made my peace with it though. Besides that, look at our commissions just from the sale today. We can make almost the same money as that moron Brad does, but he has way more headaches.

"Why did you help me today? Why not let me fail?"

Tony's demeanor totally changed. He seemed uncomfortable for the first time during any interaction I had with him..

"I don't know. It's just. I'm not sure really. It's, well, I, um don't think I'm creepy ok, but I overheard you and Lisa chatting a few weeks ago and you seemed pretty heartbroken about a boyfriend breakup maybe and then it's also like, well, it just seems like to me maybe that, well you actually work hard. I'm the first one to the office and the last one to leave because I don't have much of a social life. I notice when you come in early and I notice when you stay late. Kids don't have any work ethic these days. It's nice to see."

"Hey! I'm not a kid!" I joked, throwing a pretend slap his way. His compliment meant a lot to me though. I did try to put in more effort but I didn't feel like it was noticed by management. The fact that Tony noticed it though was actually more impressive though.

"That's sweet though, I appreciate your compliment, even though I can tell you're not the best at giving them. I won't make it awkward for you." I said, smiling gently at him. My perception of him had changed entirely in just the last 72 hours.

The conversation kept going for at least another hour. We talked about all aspects of our lives. I couldn't explain it, but I felt a connection to him and I didn't want the night to end. It was getting late though and we had a flight in the morning to head back home.

We rode the elevator up to our floor and when we got off, I turned to him.

"Thank you again for today, we make a really great team."

Then I moved in to give him a hug, but as soon as we began to embrace he pulled me in tight and kissed me. Without hesitation I kissed him back passionately. This seemed crazy but it just felt right. He pushed my back against the wall in the hallway as we continued making out.

"Where's your room?" He asked.

Not really able to speak, I motioned a few doors down. I grabbed my key card and we entered the room. The make out session never stopped. We quickly moved to the bed.

I couldn't believe how good of a kisser Tony was. I was already so turned on. He moved to my neck and gently sucked just above my collarbone. Electricity shot through my entire body. How did I not know how good that felt? Had no one ever kissed me there before? He continued teasing me on both sides of my neck as his hands started roaming my body. Next he slid his hands down my thighs and ran them to the backside of my knees, rubbing softly. My legs just collapsed back for him. Another new spot that I didn't know was so sensual. His touch was incredible. His hands moved under my shirt and over my bra as my nipples began to harden. He sat up, lifting me up with him he pulled my shirt up and over my head. His hand reached behind my back and in one swift movement he unsnapped my bra. How the fuck was this guy so smooth? I know he had been married, but I just assumed he would have no skills in the bedroom but he had already taught me things about my body I had never known. I was now exposed fully to him.

"Your body is incredible. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen" Tony said, sitting up to admire me. "I'm going to give you the best fuck of your life tonight."

I just nodded in agreement, not sure how to respond.

He leaned back down over me and continued kissing and teasing my entire torso, but ignoring my now bare tits. I wanted him to massage them so badly, but at this point I was pretty sure he already knew that and was doing it on purpose. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms, over my thighs, up my stomach and then kissed between my breasts. They were aching for his touch.

"Please. Please touch my boobs. I need them touched so bad." I pleaded

"I'm in charge here. I'll get to it when I'm ready.."

He moved back up my body, kissing me on the mouth again. As much as I wanted my tits played with, I was already in love with his kissing.

"You already know this but your tits are incredible." He said as he pulled away from me. The truth is I didn't think they were incredible. I developed young and had never quite reconciled with having huge boobs as I grew older. Some women seemed to naturally know how to weld them for power, but I tended to cover them so no one knew I had them. That being said, once I was turned on, I wanted them to be ravished. He seemed to sense this.

He then slid both hands under them, cupping them together. He leaned down, hot breath now blowing on my nipple. I don't know what I was expecting next, but what he did was now how I would want my tits played with forever. Pulling his lips back, he made sure to gently bite down directly with his teeth on my nipple. My ex would always suck on my nipples, but with his whole mouth. With only Tony's teeth on them the sensations were hyper concentrated. He then began lifting himself up pulling my nipple with him. Just when I thought it was too much and might start to hurt, it slipped from his teeth and he moved to the other side. He repeated this over and over, driving me wild. I looked down, my breasts still cupped together, each nipple harder than they had ever been, and was so turned on.

He laid back on top of me diving back to my neck with his mouth, shooting electricity through me once again. This time though he pressed his crotch against mine and I could feel his hardness. I wondered if I was going to get a surprise here as well. 2 days ago I would have looked at him and thought he might have a 4 inch dick and best. Not that I was a size queen, or even had experience with a huge cock, but that's just how I would have stereotyped him.

He reached down between my legs rubbing me over my underwear.

"Your pussy is so wet for me."

He was right. I could feel my underwear was totally soaked. He grazed the outer lips of my labia, teasing my slit from bottom to top. Once he reached the top he began applying more pressure and found my clit immediately. Again, his touch was perfect. He didn't get overly aggressive, but instead rubbed firmly, engorging my clit even more. He motioned for me to lift my hips and slid my underwear down and off my legs. He ran his fingers down to the crack of my butt gathering my juices as he moved up and then plunged two fingers into my soaking snatch. Once his fingers were buried in me he laid down between my legs and latched his mouth on my now protruding clit.

Another jolt of electricity shot through my body. Tony's two fingers curled upward hitting my G spot. He wasn't trying to finger fuck me at all. He knew exactly where the target was and hit it with precision. He had sucked my clit into his mouth and was delicately circling it with his tongue. 45 seconds into this round of oral sex and I was already about to have the strongest orgasm I'd ever had. I knew I wouldn't be able to control it so I quickly reached over and grabbed a pillow, stuffing it over my face as I began to scream in ecstasy. My hips bucked wildly but that didn't throw him off at all. Instead, Tony threw his left arm over my torso and pushed me down onto the bed and just continued with his methodical work on my pussy. Finally after a minute and a half my orgasm subsided and I removed the pillow from my face.

"What the fuck. How the fuck did you do that to me. I've never cum like that before in my life and I have a Hitachi Magic Wand!"

Tony just ignored my comments completely.

"Your pussy smells and tastes so good that I don't want to ever stop eating it but now I'm going to fuck you like you've never been fucked before."

I didn't even reply, I just nodded my head. He got up on his knees and pulled down his boxers. His cock sprang out and it was beautiful. 6.5 inches long, 6 inches of girth with a fat head and the perfect upward curvature.

"Stroke my cock."

I reached down and grabbed him for the first time. The heat coming off it was amazing. He was so hard and so thick. If you asked me what I would have envisioned as the perfect cock, this would probably be it. I've watched porn with huge dicks and beyond the novelty of it, it just looks scary. On the other hand, my ex was at least an inch shorter than Tony's and not nearly as thick. It wasn't a bad dick, but I occasionally wished he had more. That's what I was about to get.

"Tell me what you want."

I hesitated, feeling embarrassed.

"Fuck me." was all I could muster. We had been at it for twenty minutes already and in some ways I felt like my body couldn't take anymore sensation but I wanted to please him the way he had pleased me.

He lined his cock up with my swollen pussy and slid it up and down my lips. Once the head was glistening with my juices he began pushing into me. His thickness felt incredible as my pussy opened up around him, beckoning him deeper. He slid all the way inside me and my vagina was perfectly full. His size couldn't have been any more ideal. He thrusted in and out touching every square millimeter of my pussy.