The Pat Wong Diaries

The day after the barbecue, a Sunday, Paul invited Harry over to watch a pre-season football game with him. Harry was not a fan of football, but he could watch a game, especially if it involved his favorite team, the Redskins. On Sundays, while all the men holed up for the afternoon to grunt and growl and jump up and down like little boys in front of their TV, Harry went to the Gym and soaked up in the Jacuzzi, reading the book review section and opinion pages of the Sunday paper. He loved the fact that the gym was deserted and quiet, and he spent hours there, relaxing.

He stayed at Paul's for more than four hours and came back smiling and shaking his head.

"That Paul is one of a kind," he said, as he took off his shoes. "A strange bird, to be sure, but a good man."

He kept shaking his head and smiling.

"You know what he did?" he asked. "He gave me a PowerPoint presentation about his wife!"

I looked at him with confusion.

"Well, his wife gave him permission to share his tapes with me, but he said that he needed to give me some context before he showed me the tapes."

I still didn't understand.

"I have some fresh Jasmine tea in the kitchen if you want," I said.

He went to the kitchen and poured himself a small cup of tea and came back to the living room, sipping loudly.

"Aah..." he sighed with satisfaction and sat down facing me, "healthy."

"He wanted me to know all about his wife and so he gave me a PowerPoint presentation about her," he nodded and raised his eyebrows.

"He fired up his laptop and hooked it up to a projector and went through forty slides about his Carol."

"Was she there?" I frowned.

"No. Well, she was in the house and came down to greet me, and then came back down later with some buffalo wings and we chatted for a couple of minutes, but she wasn't there during the presentation."

"Did she know that he was doing a PowerPoint presentation about her?"

"Yes, she sure did. Paul told her before she went back up that he was doing it and she smiled at me and said, 'Well, I hope you enjoy it, Harry.' You can't imagine, Pat, how sweet and friendly that lady is. She was so eager to make me comfortable and kept asking me if I needed anything."

I nodded. I had felt that too when we were at the party. She spoke to me politely and listened to what I said and asked me several thoughtful questions, paying attention to what was in my hands and offering me more food and drink when I was running out.

"It took a whole hour for him to go through the presentation. He started by where and when Carol was born -- she is thirty seven. He talked about her parents and her two brothers. He talked about where she went in elementary school and showed me pictures of her when she was a little girl. Then he spent a few slides on her high school days, pointing out the boys she dated and slept with, and dedicated a whole slide on the boy who took her virginity, a certain Stew who apparently lives in the area and is married with children, and with whom they have kept a close contact. She slept with seven boys in high school, Pat, can you imagine? Seven! Paul said that the high school days always set the tone for the rest of your life."

I was sipping my tea and listening intently. Harry got up, walked to the bathroom and came back with a towel. He then spread it carefully on the sofa seat, took his shorts and underwear off, and sat down. His cock was up and throbbing.

"I've had an erection all afternoon, and my cock needs some air," he said, and then sighed and leaned back as he fanned his cock and balls with his hand.

"You probably should ejaculate soon," I said, "otherwise you are going to get Blue Balls Syndrome. And you know how painful that is."

"Yes," he nodded, and then started rubbing the tip of his skinny penis.

"You know, she lost her virginity when she was fifteen?" he said, and then spit on his hand and began to masturbate in earnest, squeezing his cock and biting his lips.

"In college, she had four steady boyfriends, the last one Paul. She had a lot of sex -- far more than the average -- and Paul showed me some statistics. She was an outlier, having sex three times more than the median."

"He said, 'Carol is sweet, but she loves men. I say 'men' and not just 'sex'. She could go for months without sex -- she can be a camel when it comes to sex. But not men. She loves men."

Harry laughed at this and shook his head.

"Then he went over her anatomy. First he showed me a picture of her smiling broadly with her large breasts bulging out of her white bra. Then he followed it with a slide showing her breasts completely exposed. She always had in every slide the same broad smile of a friendly and intelligent house wife. Her breasts were hanging out and her nipple areas were surrounded with huge brown circles. He pointed out the circles with his laser pointer and said that he loved those circles and that he sucked on them whenever he made love to Carol."

Harry's eyes were closed and he was now loudly masturbating regularly, spitting on his right hand every once in a while.

"Then we spent a couple of minutes on her armpits. The thing that I liked is that he always showed her smiling face, never just her body parts. He said that he liked to lick her armpits when she is sweaty. 'They smell, Harry,' he said, 'they smell to high heaven and I love that smell.' Then he went over her ass and her asshole. They are like us, Pat, they smell each other's asses. Although I did surprise him when I told him that I liked to smell your farts. He nodded and said, 'Well, that's interesting!' Then he went over to the desk and brought back a notebook and a pen. 'Looks like I need to take some notes,' he laughed, and then jotted something down about my farts comments.

"Then he said that Carol wasn't a fan of anal penetration, but that she obliged him once in a while. 'It's all about lubrication and being extra nice to your woman,' he counseled. Then we spent a good ten minutes on her pussy. She has an incredibly hairy pussy, Pat. The hair goes almost all the way up to her navel, and is thick like a little forest. I asked him if it smelled, and he said that it did, just like her armpits, and that if Carol didn't wash it twice a day and heavily perfumed it, the stench was overwhelming and not easy to tolerate. 'I have to be horny like a wild dog to be able to breathe that smell,' he said, 'and at such times the ungodly stench would turn me on even. But as soon as I ejaculated, I would have to close my nose and run out.'

"We took a break at that point and Paul went upstairs, probably to report back to Carol how we were coming along. I wanted to masturbate, but felt that it was best if I held it and masturbated in front of you. When he came back, he had two cold beers in his hands and a bowl of potato chips. 'And now, for the real exciting part,' Paul said. 'Now I will initiate you into our privileged circle of intimate friends.' He turned off the lights again and fired up a second PowerPoint presentation.

"'I want to introduce you to the men in our lives,' he said and cleared his throat. 'These are the men that Carol is allowed to fornicate with -- and only these men. He went over six men, Pat, six men of all ages and races, who go to bed with his wife."

Harry's eyes were wild and his face was red. He had stopped stroking his cock and was now gripping it with a tight fist.

"Her husband allows six different men to penetrate his wife on a regular basis, and under his watch and supervision," he said, almost indignantly. Then he leaned back and started stroking his cock.

"There was their friend Stew, who was married and had three children. And there was a picture of Stew penetrating a smiling Carol. Then there was Virkar, a short, stocky Indian with a hairy chest and an angry expression on his face. And he was penetrating a smiling Carol, doggy style. Then there were two older men in their fifties, former professors of Paul. In one picture, Carol was sucking the cock of one, and in the next one, the other old man had ejaculated on Carol's neck. Then there were two young men, one muscular and all smiles, who carried Carol in his arms, his surprisingly small penis fully erect, and the other, a skinny teenager with pasty skin and disheveled hair who looked worried as Carol licked his balls."

Harry shook his head and bit his lower lip and stopped talking. He seemed to be thinking, "What a world!"

"And from all appearances, who would have thought that we were dealing with such a crazy couple," he whispered. "And she obliges, smiling all along," he continued. "She is so generous and so patient."

Harry's face was red. He was clearly overwhelmed by what he had witnessed that afternoon.

"Get the saucer and the lemon, Pat," he said, "hurry up".

I got up and quickly fetched the small sushi saucer, a lemon and a small, sharp knife. I cut the lemon in half and handed him the saucer.

Harry's face was tense and his lips were pursed and tight. He was pumping his cock forcefully and unevenly, stopping every once in a while and taking a deep breath with clenched teeth, grimacing almost in pain. He was trying to stop himself from ejaculating all the way and was attempting to push himself up to the border where he would be able to draw out semen without having a full orgasm. Harry had done this many times before, whenever he had a craving for swallowing his own cum, and the only way he could get himself to eat the semen is if he got himself to the peak of his excitability and extract the semen out of his cock but without fully consummating his orgasm and extinguishing his animal lust.

He pumped a few more times and kept stopping.

"You need to ejaculate before your balls get congested and you start getting cramps," I said, a little concerned.

"She loves men," he said, and pumped to the edge and then stopped again. I knelt beside him and got the saucer ready. A few more pumps and now drops of semen started to trickle out of his penis. I made sure the saucer caught every drop.

"She loves men," he kept whispering, then opened his grip and let his penis go to avoid having the orgasm. More drops, this time thick, came out. The saucer was now almost full to the brim.

"Squeeze the lemon on it," he said. I squeezed a few drops onto the semen and handed the saucer to him.

He grabbed, his hands shaking, and slurped it noisily.

"She loves men," he said again, handing me back the saucer. Then he grabbed his cock tightly with his right hand and started pumping it in earnest and for good, going for the full ejaculation.

His semen gushed in four strong bursts and splattered on the coffee table and the carpet.

"I am so glad we went to the barbecue," he said, resting his head on the sofa. "You need to become friends with Carol. She is such a nice lady."

"I will," I said, grabbing a Kleenex box, and started wiping his cum off our nice coffee table.

Harry picked up the saucer and the spent half lemon and went to the kitchen. He washed the saucer, threw the lemon in the garbage bin, and then went upstairs to wash his penis, whistling as he slowly climbed up the stairs.