The Naed Filmmaer

I woke up the next morning with serious "wine breath". I was in my bed and staring at the ceiling. I glanced out my open bedroom window and saw not a single tree branch or leaf was moving—it was another hot, sweltering day.

I had overslept, as it was almost 11:23 in the morning. My sheet was curled up next to me, apparently I had pushed it as far away as I could in my sleep due to the tremendous heat. I really needed to get an air conditioner in my room. It usually isn't this hot where I live, but the past few weeks have just been a living hell of heat.

I sat up rubbing my eye crispies out and clearing my dry throat. I felt like a hot mess, I smelled of sweat, my hair was greasy and gross, my skin felt slimy from perspiring so much. I sat up and pulled my shorts on—I sleep in my panties and a T-shirt. Usually I throw on a summer robe so Sam won't see my cans, but I figured there was no point in covering up now?

Then it hit me. I was reminded of what I had done. Sam watched my movie last night! He has now seen me naked and doing the most private of things. How I was going to face him I had no idea; I actually stopped by my door and listened to see if he was up. I didn't hear anything. I was like a child not wanting to face their parent after having done some naughty thing. After awhile I realized there was no hiding from this and that I was going to have to go out and face the music. So I collected myself and went out to the kitchen. I decided I would have to be the adult here and act as if everything was perfectly normal. That's right it was perfectly normal for a stepmom to give her stepson a video of her lusting after his body then masturbating naked while crying out his name—it happens all the time!

I was totally relieved to see no sign of Sam. I started making my morning (or late afternoon) coffee when Sam spoke up behind me.

I actually screamed. I'm not proud of it, but I did. He laughed.

"I'm sorry, I thought you saw me." He said.

"No, I didn't think you were here."

I looked at him; he had obviously showered already and was clean and dressed. Although not really dressed, he was wearing his khaki shorts and nothing else. It was very unusual for Sam to walk around shirtless, he was too shy for that, but I think he was starting to get used to the idea of nudity in our household. I'm not complaining, mind you, it's just unusual and I think my video more than anything else was the cause.

"I asked if you had a good sleep?" He said.

"Oh, yeah—a little too good, I guess I overslept. How about you?"

"Slept like a champ!" he said and he was smiling a little too much and had a tone in his voice that was a little too playful.

"It's supposed to rain later, do you think we should mow the lawn? It's getting pretty deep out there. I figured you could do half and then I'll do the other half?" I said.

"I'll do all of it." He told me with determination and that silly grin.

"No, it's too hot out. Just do a little and come in, it's not worth getting overheated."

"I've been overheated for awhile. In fact, I'm about to explode! Mowing a little grass isn't going to affect me." He said.

Okay, so we had managed not to talk about the movie, but it was clearly on his mind. That smile said it all. At that point I felt like Dr. Frankenstein experiencing his 'What have I done' moment.

I turned and faced him. I was leaning against the kitchen counter and he was leaning against the far wall. He was magnificent standing in front of me proudly displaying his body to me with his arms folded in front of him accentuating his biceps—which seemed much bigger than they had only a short while ago, I wondered if he had been working out.

We looked at each other for a long instant; I think we both wondered who would be the first to mention the giant elephant and how. I knew it wasn't going to be me.

I turned and pretended to be doing something with my coffee cup when he spoke.

"So I watched your movie last night."

That statement hung in the air for a least a thousand years before I found the courage to respond.

"Oh?" I said.

"I, uh . . . REALLY enjoyed it." He said and I spun around to face him. He looked away, but his smile was broader than I have ever seen it.

I didn't know what to say. I felt like a microbe under a Scientists microscope just praying he didn't decide to look too closely.

Panic sweat began to mix with actual sweat and I could feel the heat of my cheeks burning outwardly.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it, but that was a one time thing, Sam. I probably shouldn't even have done it. I wasn't thinking clearly." I said and I was really disappointed to hear me say that. And I mean it that way—I felt as if I hadn't said it, instead it just came out of my mouth and I was as sad to hear it as Sam was. I saw his smile disappear.

"Oh, don't say that. Please. That was the most wonderful thing I have ever seen."

Now he stopped being smug and became very sincere.

"I loved every second of it. And I want to see more. A lot more." He said.

"Sam . . . I just don't think . . ." I couldn't finish. I didn't know how to finish.

He walked over to me—very close to me—and he put his hand on my cheek.

"I love you." He said in the sweetest way possible. His eyes pierced through mine trying to find my soul and I felt as if my soul was running away and trying to hide from his intense gaze.

"I love you." He said again. "And I want to make love to you."

I almost collapsed.

"I know that sounds super-corny, but I really do. And now I know you feel the same way about me. I see how you look at me, and your movie proved you watch me. And I love having you watch me. Everything I do is for you. All the nudity and sex stuff, the movies, the gay stuff with Tom, ALL of it is for you. I want you to enjoy seeing me do things for you. I want to do things for you, I want to please you." He said placing his other hand on my other cheek. He now had both hands on either side of my face and he was slowly advancing. I glanced down quickly and saw the protuberance in his shorts, then I looked back at his eyes and they were more determined than ever before. He moved into to kiss me.

I gently placed my hand on his bare chest and stopped him.

"Sam, I can't. This isn't right. I shouldn't have tortured you like I have been. I feel terrible about it, but we can't do this." I said.

"Why?" he pulled back but I kept my hand on his chest feeling his heart beating like a drum, his skin moist with sweat.

"Everything that has gone on here lately has been great and very satisfying in a sexual way. We both needed that release. But you're young and you should have someone your own age."

"You're only 10 years-older than me. So what! I am making lots of money with the website and I can support you now. That's all I've ever wanted is to live here with you, support you, and to give you the kind of love and attention you deserve. How can that be wrong?"

I put my hands on his face now, "Honey, it's not wrong it's beautiful. But you need to go out and live your own life and not let me hold you back. That's all. I want you to have the best life can offer."

"You are the best life has to offer." He said and I almost melted.

"I'm sorry. But it just can't be us." I said with finality.

"That's stupid." He said and now he was angry. "You're just afraid. That's all it is, is fear. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of walking around wishing for things. I want you and I will have you, because I know you want me too, you're just too afraid to say it. We are perfect for each other. I understand why you're trying to let me have my own life, but I don't want my own life—I want a life with you." He said and he stormed off. He tried to open the screen door to the backyard but it had swelled from the humidity and stuck, Sam struggled with it then went out into the stagnant day.

I was devastated. I cried into my coffee while trying to justify to myself that what I was doing the right thing; Sam was ultimately a kid and he needed to make his own way without me, I was sure of that. That knowledge didn't stop me from crying all through breakfast, though. Then I wept all through my shower and I even "teared up" in the bank while I was running errands later that day.

I quickly left the bank and sat in the car blowing my nose and wiping my eyes. I looked at myself in the mirror checking to see how I looked—it wasn't good!

The car was stifling, it was so hot outside that sitting in a closed car with the windows up and the air off wasn't a great plan, but I didn't care. I was an emotional mess; I couldn't stop thinking about Sam—about how playful he was when I woke up, how he was ready for fun and then I destroyed him. I felt like the worst cock-tease on the planet and I hate women who do that, it's so unfair. I just kept picturing that look on Sam's face; he looked liked a wounded puppy and that's pretty much what he was. He was a wide-eyed innocent and didn't understand I was being harsh for his own good.

But then again, 'was I being harsh for his own good, or for mine?'

I started to really think about it and I suddenly realized I had made a terrible mistake. What the hell did I know whether or not Sam and I could be together? I spent my entire life making the wrong choices with men, including Sam's father; he was a dick and I knew he was a dick when I met him. Just like I know that Sam is an incredibly decent and good-hearted soul. Maybe that was what I was so afraid of. Not that Sam was wrong, but that he was so right. Maybe I was afraid of finally finding the right guy.

Maybe is the right guy for me and I am the right woman for him—why not?

The whole world is crazy so maybe crazy is the right choice!

It was all so clear; the truth was sitting right there I was unable to avoid it and now I was sweating profusely again. The car must have been over one-hundred-degrees inside. I started the engine and just as I was about to turn the air on there was a knock at the window. I turned and saw Kate, Tom and some guy I didn't know. I opened the window and the outside air flooded into the car, but ironically the outside air was much cooler than the stifling air inside the car.

"What, are you trying to asphyxiate yourself? Sitting in a hot car on a day like this doesn't seem the best plan!" Kate laughed.

"No, I, uh, just got lost in thought I guess." I said meekly.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked.

"Oh yeah, just, you know, allergies." Then I looked at Tom, "Well hello Stranger! I haven't seen you in awhile."

"I was at your house yesterday!" Tom said.

"Oh yeah!" I'm really not good at covering up.

"Dana this is my boyfriend, Jim." Tom said.

I shook his hand, "Hi, Jim, nice to meet you. Congratulations, you got one of the good ones!" I said smiling for the first time that day.

"Tell me about it! He's incredible." Jim said and he kissed Tom in the sweetest way.

"Aren't they sickening?" Kate said rolling her eyes. "I've been dealing with flirtations, smooches, and giggling all morning!"

And we all laughed.

"Where's Sam?" Tom asked.

"Mowing the lawn, I think." I said.

"Did he watch . . . you know?" Kate asked covertly.

"Don't even ask, it's complicated." I cut her off.

"What's complicated? He wants you and you want him, you're lucky you have each other. I wish I could find someone like Sam, or you for that matter!" Kate said with great sincerity.

"Oh God, you should have heard him talking about you yesterday, Dana! He wouldn't shut up about how you were making a movie for him and he can't wait to see it and he's so in love with you! And you're so beautiful! All day yesterday that's all we heard!" Tom said.

"Really?" I said as if learning this for the first time.

"Girl you better jump on that shit, because Tom and I have been talking and we are seriously going to turn that boy if you don't make a move soon!" Jim said in his funniest cliché gay guy voice.

Again we laughed and suddenly my heart was swelling; I was like the Grinch when he realized he loved Christmas! I couldn't wait to get home and see Sam.

"You're like a kid with the biggest birthday present sitting right in front of you and yet you refuse to open it. Go home and rip that wrapping paper off and enjoy your beautiful gift, will you?" Kate said, "I wish I could find true love and you have it sitting at your house waiting for you!"

Tom and Jim gave her a collective "Awwwe!" and they both kissed her on either cheek.

"Come here, baby, I'll give you some love, I've got some love sitting right here for you!" Jim said and again we all laughed.

I offered them a ride, but they were going across the street for some Froyo.

The three-mile drive home took an eternity. I wasn't sure how to approach Sam, but I couldn't wait to go home and ease his pain—and mine for that matter. The cool air from the blowers was such a relief and combined with my mood being lifted I suddenly felt like I could take on the world. I was almost home when I saw Max, our dog, in the neighbor's yard humping the neighbor's Labrador! I was going to stop and yell at him, but then I figured 'fuck it!' it's a muggy Dog Day of Summer, Max is fixed, so why not let him have his fun too! He would come home when he was done.

When I arrived home Sam was still mowing the lawn and he was at the farthest point from the house right at the edge of the woods. I remembered him in his werewolf movie running naked out of that exact spot toward the house. As I collected my stuff out of the back of my car I looked at the spot in our yard where Tom jerked Sam off in our first "crew" movie. Then I walked over the spot where Sam first arrived as the Terminator and remembered that was the first time I saw him completely nude—at least from the side, anyway.

I walked into the hot, dank, stifling house and dropped my stuff on the counter then I went into my room. Without closing the door I pulled my shirt over my head, took my bra off and put on a tight gray T-shirt and my short khaki shorts. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked positively glowing. I don't know if it was my mood that had changed everything, or what, but I looked fantastic. The tight cotton of my shirt enveloped my breasts, my nipples were poking out almost obscenely, my clean-shaven legs were glimmering with light perspiration, and even my hair was haloed by the harsh sunlight blasting through the window.

Then I heard a distant thunderclap.

I looked outside and saw nothing but sun then I heard another loud boom of thunder. The air was still and murky. There were no birds singing, no bugs buzzing, just dry stillness and the light sound of Sam's lawnmower off in the distance. I watched through the screen of the window as the sun quickly dropped away and made room for the thunderclouds that I assumed were now hovering over our house. I went through the rooms and closed all the windows because I could feel the oncoming storm.

I looked at Sam; he was pushing the mower and looking up at the sky knowing his time was limited, but refusing to give up. His body was glistening with sweat and I was concerned about his health in this intense heat, but I noticed he had his bottle of water and was dutifully sipping from it to stay hydrated. He was still shirtless and wearing only his shorts and sneakers. He looked so sexy even as far away as he was you could just see the sexy youthfulness of his body.

Then BOOM! Another thunderclap nearly shook the house off its foundation.

'All right, Sam come in now' I thought, but he was stubborn and hell bent on finishing his lawn. I walked into the kitchen and watched him through the screen door.

The air was so heavy with the oncoming storm you could feel it in every particle of the stratosphere.

Then Sam saw me watching him. I waved for him to come in, but he pretended not to notice me. I think he was still angry. Of course, he was why wouldn't he be?

Then it happened. A big fat dollop of rain splashed down on the patio by the pool followed by another, then another.

Then the heavens opened up and a tremendous downpour fell.

The rain was so heavy and thick I almost lost sight of Sam. The air itself seemed to turn white with rain, then I saw him rushing the mower back to the shed.

BOOM! Another thunderclap made my heart skip a beat like when I was a little girl watching a parade and the drummers walked by. Sam was standing in the shed doorway looking at me and I was standing in the back door of the kitchen watching him. Steam rose off the patio by the pool as the cool rainwater washed away the heat and for a moment I actually felt a chill sweep through me. It felt great as if a terrible curtain of hellacious heat had been lifted. Sam was looking at me with intensity and I wondered if it was my erect nipples poking through the fabric of my shirt that had garnered his attention. He was about fifty feet away from the house looking into my eyes through the pelting rain. I smiled and blew him a kiss. He was confused at first, then smiled back and took a step forward out of the shed and into the gushing rain. I watched as cool water drenched his bare skin in seconds. He looked up at the sky and looked so refreshed by the water washing away his sweat and stink. His hair darkened and plastered around the shape of his head, his own nipples hardened under the chilled water from above. He looked at me and smiled the cutest smile like a kid at a water park. But he was no kid, he was a young man on the verge of manhood—speaking of manhood, his shorts also darkened with wetness and stuck to his legs and groin.

"Come inside fool!" I yelled to him laughing.

He casually walked toward the house through the walloping rain. I guess there was no point in running as he was already soaked from head to toe by now.

He arrived at the screen door and looked at me. He had a look in his eye that I had never seen before.

I examined his nearly naked and totally soaked body. I marveled at how the water washed around his abs and into his soaked cotton shorts that now encased his stiffening penis; he made not effort to conceal it, instead he seemed to stand in a way that pressed his thickening dick against the fabric of his shorts almost presenting himself to me.

'Thank you God for my beautiful present!' I thought.

Then I finally said the words, "Sam, I love you too!" and I smiled while this terrible weight was lifted off my shoulders.

He looked at me with such relief as if my words had destroyed all his demons and covered him in a warm safe blanket.

He reached for the screen door, but it was stuck from the humidity. He struggled with it—it wouldn't open for anything, I tried to push from my side, but nothing.

"Stand back!" he said in his most manly voice. I did and with wonderful masculine strength he tore the door right out of the frame! This action was highlighted by another tremendous crack of thunder.

Sam threw the screen door onto the patio and rushed into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his wet body against my dry clothes kissing me more passionately than any romance cover I've ever seen. I could almost hear the music in the background this moment was so powerful. I felt his stiff penis pressing against me as our tongues entered one another's mouths. We kissed with such lust, such abandon, and such erotic, animalistic, feral passion!

His hands went to my breasts and fondled them wantonly. Okay he was a little inexperienced in his touch, but that was part of what made it so fucking hot!

He was kissing me with all the slurping ravenous command of a starved man on a watermelon. I slowed him down and we broke our kiss. He looked at me like a student begging his teacher for understanding and I smiled at him.

I gently covered his crotch with my hand and massaged him through his shorts as if to say 'See how this feels, that's how I want to feel'