The Misadventures of Caitlin Jones

I sighed to myself as I packed last nights crusty pants into the rucksack. I never meant to cheat on Sam. I start all my relationships with the best of intentions but I just can't seem to help myself. Finding last nights tights I ball them up and chuck them in the hotels wastepaper basket. Ashley had ripped them as his fingers fought for the skin of my thighs. Shaking my head I chastised myself.

"What total bullshit" I muttered to the empty room.

I-didn't-mean-to-do-it doesn't quite count as a defence when I booked the hotel room in advance. Packing finally finished I let myself sink onto the sweat stained mattress and contemplate how yet again I'd been unfaithful to a partner. Was this ever going to stop? Nice guy after nice guy I found fault with, my attention wandered and I felt justified in giving in to my desires. I had sworn that things would be different with Sam. We had matched each other so well at the start, I'm going travelling with him for gods sake! Only three months and he'll be back from work abroad, ready to whisk me off on our adventure. The adventure I've been waiting for my whole life.

I didn't have to leave the room for another hour so I allowed myself to curl up on the bed and console myself with thoughts from last night. Remembering how the head of his cock felt under my tongue my hand slid across my belly and I began to toy with my wiry pubic hair. Thinking of his strong mechanics fingers gripping me as he pulled me to him, forcing himself deeper, my own fingers traced the opening of my moistening cunt. Dragging my slick fingers backwards I started to rub. Not too hasty, I like to make it last. I think back to the beginning, slowly I force my mind to focus on a linier path. Watch the past unfold like a film behind my closed eyes. I try to ignore the assault of flashing images from last night.

His eyes meeting mine, his mouth full of me. I focus on friend-of-a-friend meetings, eyes gleaming, smiles tugging at lips like we had a secret. A giggle burbles from my lips at the irony, now we have a secret. I think it was all that time at the sauna that finally did it. Sweaty, we hung out near naked at least twice a week. Our attraction was unspoken, we were always with a crowd, sometimes I concluded he must have felt my gaze on him. My eyes heavy with lust followed the beads of sweat as they traced his jaw and inched over his chest before melting into the rise of his shorts. I have never had a man with a body like his, I'm not usually one for gym bodies but something in those golden retriever eyes just killed me. The sauna was suffocating. I had stretched my own form out for him week after week, silently begging him to feast on me. He was a perfect gentleman, never once making a move or trying to get me alone. Even though I fought with my faithfulness to Sam the voice in my head was screaming at him to fuck me.

I initiated it in the Jacuzzi. We were all chatting above the bubbles, positioning ourselves next to each other as had become our custom. Still chatting with the friends surrounding us I let my leg drift to his. My foot came to rest on his calf. Afraid of being too bold I repressed the instinct that told me to run my toe purposefully over his muscles. We touched under the water. Neither moving our legs or acknowledging the contact. My chest hummed electric.

In the visits that followed we found more excuses to touch, to rub, our hugs goodbye became longer and the burning hunger I felt between my legs grew deeper. He started to show up after work, sleeping over at the workshop I was living in and then, as part of a social outing, we went road tripping to a coastal town up north. Four of us in the land rover, wailing Bob Marley and jumping the fences at attractions. We raced along the beach, panting we explored caves. Purposeful like we wanted to lose the others but then in those snatches of alone time we became conscious of how close our bodies pressed, of the possibility that we were making a mistake, we'd giggle and shrug it off.

As I begin to toy with my clit in earnest a smile settles on my lips. After last night I know there's no mistake, he wasn't just being friendly. He wanted me as much in those moments as I wanted him. I think back to the beach. The sun hot on my body, the breeze playing at the edge of my summer dress. Ash was stretched out on the sand beside me. Not close enough but then he let his arm fall, gently tangling his fingers in my hair. I shifted my weight up to meet him, surprised by the tenderness of the gesture. From then on I knew I had lost my battle with fidelity, I had to know what it felt like to taste him.

Days passed and still nothing more than hands finding each other between the shielding press of bodies, fingers tracing spines, a cheeky finger that he brushed over my nipple at the sauna and an even cheekier glance at him when he was changing. I would go to sleep with him shirtless in my mind. Again I took the initiative and found a way for us to be alone and it all came out in an exited, breathless gabble. We wanted each other. We shouldn't, but we did. We knew we had to take a chance. We convinced ourselves that one night was better than none. Awkwardly we kissed, soft tentative movements that would resemble none of the impassioned exploration I would later come to expect from his kisses. We walked back to the workshop dragging our heels like teenagers.

Tomorrow night we would get a hotel in another town. He would be mine.

The wait had felt unbearable but sitting at the end of the small pier, the waves licking at the wood beneath me, watching him walk towards me I knew it was worth it. We eyed each other with an intensity that affected my breathing and headed straight to the hotel room. Before my bag had hit the floor his lips found me. My hands teased the hair at the nape of his neck. I was already wet. We fell to the bed devouring each other, our words were cut off as our hands quested. Whimpers had already begun to escape me as my hand rubbed at the stiffness under his jeans. Our eyes remained locked on each other as hands tugged at cloths. Everything I wore felt restrictive. He ripped my tights, I bit into his neck and then we were naked. Bathed in sunlight from the forgotten open window we rolled around testing each other. My hands found the length of him, the fat head of his cock was heavy in my hand. Stiff and slick with pre-come it demanded I give in to every naughty thought I'd tried to suppress in the sauna. Shifting my weight I took him in my mouth for the first time. Stretching my lips over that magnificent head and sucking his length to the back of my throat felt like such a relief. I had begun to lose myself to the rhythm when I felt a gentle hand on my hair. It was time to scrabble for the condom.

I stretched out content, knowing his eyes were drinking me in. His fingers, still oil smudged from work, found the slick opening between my legs and started to probe. He joked that someone had once referred to his thick fingers as 'lady pleasers'. As they pushed into me I could see why, his gaze held mine, they filled me. My body screamed for more, I needed more of him. My nails began to worry at his back, his kisses taking on a fresh urgency as he kissed his way lower. His tongue found my clitoris and worked with the pumping rhythm of his fingers. My moans bounced back at me in the confines of the hotel room until finally he was on top of me, arms supporting his weigh. I guided him between my legs, running the tip of his cock over me, coating him in my juices. He started to apply pressure, pushing his way between my folds and right into the heart of me. Our eyes were locked and my breath had caught in my throat, his full lips were parted as he began to slide in and out of me. He used his body weight to grind into my clit, sending spasms of pleasure twitching across my abdomen. He murmured his pleasure as my muscles squeezed around him and my hips bucked to meet him. It didn't take long but we fell apart exhausted, neither of us had been prepared for the intensity of that first time. We did not sleep that night. We devoured each other time and time again, finding wonder where we had expected only thrills.

I came, shuddering around my fingers. Wishing Ash had not left the hotel to go to work. Wondering if I should see him again. My phones familiar trill broke my concentration... a morning text...