The Married Life

ENTERED INTO THE

750 WORD PROJECT 2024

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Listen."

"I'm listening but I don't hear anything."

"Exactly!"

"You elbowed my ribs to tell me you're hearing nothing?"

"Yes! Veronica's at gymnastics and Toby went to play at the neighbors."

"Yeah. So what?"

"So listen!"

"I did! It's quiet!"

"Exactly! Ugh, do I have to spell it out?"

"Yes! You literally may have to say what you are trying to tell me."

"I'm freshly shaven."

"Well, good for you. I'm glad you... Oh! OH! Ooooooh!"

"Uh-huh."

"What took you so long to tell me?"

"Well, stop talking and get nekkid."

"It's Saturday. Are you in the mood for 'Me, Ogg! Ogg hunt. Ogg likey woman!' or, perchance, fairest Lady Wiltshire has found herself lost astray amonst the woods frequented by the dastardly good looking highwayman robber?"

"Well..."

"No! I got it! I've been wanting to do this one for awhile."

"What?"

"Gimme a second, lemme get the step ladder."

"You're climbing the dresser???"

"Kong ravages the city looking for the woman he loves!"

"You're a fool."

"Owee Owee Ohhh!"

"Stop. Get down."

"See! It truly was beauty that killed the beast."

"Flatterer. Just get naked. Let's skip the fantasy play today and just come here."

"Yes, ma'am!"

"I kinda had a rough week at work."

"Oh, okay."

"Jen lost the paperwork needed before our audit. Scott called in. I spilled coffee..."

"Hon, fogettaboutit, it's the weekend."

"I'm not done. I'm only on Monday."

"Ok."

"I feel I'm in a work rut."

"Update your resume."

"No. I like the job, except for the gossiping."

"Tell your coworkers to fuck off."

"Then the CEO asked me to work overtime."

"Ask for a raise."

"No. They're given in January. I'm just sick of it."

"Quit."

"What are you doing?"

"Being proactive. Offering suggestions. Trying to help."

"Help? Maybe I just need you to listen."

"Here. You're stressed. Turn Over. Lemme massage you."

"I'd like that."

"There. How's that?"

"Nmmgggh."

"When's last time you seen your dermatologist about these moles?"

"Really? We're doing that? Now?"

"You're tight. Feels good, huh?"

"Mmmghhuff."

"Um, your sister called yesterday..."

"Uhhunaaaaaammm."

"Here's a knot."

"Uuuurglbuuhaaaah."

"...Asking for money."

"What!? No you didn't!"

"I didn't!"

"Ugh! I know you."

"Ignore that I mentioned. Let's just have sex, ok?"

"Wait. Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Errr..."

"Hello? Lubrication? Parts aren't as well oiled anymore."

"Um..."

"Sigh. Top drawer. Under your boxers. You brush your teeth?"

"This is kindofa spur of the moment. So..."

"Just... Just put your head over there and do your best to breathe thataway."

"Babe? Explain how is it you enjoy kissing me after I eat you?"

"Mister? You sayin I taste bad? Have an odor down there?!"

"No. No."

"Mood ruined! Let's just do it and get it over with."

"Geez, ok."

"You're in!"

"Oh, yeah, am I in! Finally!"

"Mom? Dad?"

"Oh, fuck!"

"Shhhh! Quiet!"

"Have you seen my football? Is it upstairs?"

"Oh, shit! He's coming!"

"Nevermind! Found it! Later!"

"Whew. That was close!"

"Too close. He scared my dick down to tiny baby!"

"Mmmmmm, maybe I can blow on it to make it grow up to be a big man again?"

"Yeah, I think it would very much like that."

"Let's hope for no more interruptions."

"It's just you and I, baby."

"Yes!"

"Dammit, Barkley, I just stepped on your tail. What are you doing here? Go on. Git. Shoo."

"He'll be fine. You're wasting time."

"How's about we start with ol' fashioned missionary?"

"Ok. Careful. My nipple, ouch! Teeth, teeth! Too much teeth!"

"Sorry."

"Ok, that's better."

"Wait! My calf! I'm cramping!"

"Want me to rub?"

"I got it. I got it. Ahhhhhh."

"Yes, come to momma."

"Hon, I love you. You're so beautiful and charming and sexy. You forgive me?"

"For buying me a vacuum on my birthday? You're forgiven."

"I think... I think I'm about to cum!"

"Hold off. Think something sports related. I wanna cum with you!"

"Wow! When's last we did that???! Orgasming as one together?"

"We need to find the time to do this more often."

"I know, hon! Why in the world don't we?"

"I dunno, but we know we have the whole rest of this beautiful morning all to ourselves."

"Bowchickawowow! You don't havta say another word! I'm horny for more of my sexy wife so let's get ready to rumbbbbbbbbbble!"

(Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!)

"Hey! Helloooooo? Anybody home? I saw fit to let myself in. Sis? You here? What have ya got good to eat in here?"