The Healing Process

I looked around the pub and it was heaving. Wall to wall with perfumed women, slimy men and thumping music. Still, I suppose that's what Friday nights is all about. I was sat at the corner of the bar, nurturing a nice cold pint of lager and just people watching. The crowd I was with had long dispersed into the cool autumn night but I had decided to stay on and people watch whilst having a few drinks. Why I was doing this heaven only knows, but it seemed better than a take-away curry for one and an early night with just a duvet for company.

My wife, I mean ex-wife, had long gone and I was at the stage of rehabilitating myself back into the outside world again. My friends and work colleagues had all rallied round to get me out and about, and to a certain extent it had worked. I was now starting to go out with them after work and sometimes at weekends, but soon, like tonight they all went back to their own lives and social functions that sometimes meant us single people not being included. Still, the fact that I was out was fine by me and I carried on looking around, watching and minding my own business.

Well, that was until about half an hour later. I had just got another drink when a woman came over to me. She was about forty, attractive, about five-seven in her heels and dressed like a St. Trinians school-girl. "Great!!" I thought to myself. How downtrodden did I really look?

"I know this is a bit forward and may seem a bit rude but I couldn't help noticing that you had been sat on your own for a while. I was wondering if I could sit with you for a bit?" she asked kind of shyly but politely.

"Sure, be my guest." was the best that I could muster. At least she didn't think I was a stalker. "Erm...erm...would you like a drink?" I asked stuttering, partly from astonishment that someone female would actually want to talk to me and partly wondering why.

"I'll just a have a coke if that's OK." she replied.

I beckoned over the girl behind the bar and duly got my mystery guest her drink and she sat next to me. "Sorry. erm...I just have to ask this and I also hope I am not being rude but erm...." I looked her up and down.

She interrupted me, laughing. "Yes, sorry, I suppose it does seem strange. Me all dressed up like this approaching a perfectly respectable, and may I say good looking, man. Let me explain. I am here on a hen night but, being just the wrong side of middle-aged, it seems to have passed me by and I am a little bored." One hand went to her mouth and the other touched my knee as she realised what she had said."Oh, I am so sorry, that came out all wrong. What I meant was that all the youngsters are around enjoying themselves and I am here on my own. Did that sound better?"

I smiled reassuringly. "Yes, much much better."

She smiled back. "So what about you? Do you always come to pubs and just sit there on your own.?

"I try not to make a habit of it, no." I replied. "But we have only just met and I wouldn't want to ruin your evening just yet with all the details but suffice to say it is a long story. Anyway, please forgive my manners but let me introduce myself. I'm Jack." I extended my hand towards her and at that point she starting laughing. I looked at her quizzically but she kept laughing.

"Sorry." she said in between giggles. "But you are not going to believe this." She composed herself enough to look my in the eye and say "My name is Jill" and that was it. We both fell about laughing for a good five minutes.

Well that was it, the ice-breaker to break all ice-breakers. We chatted about our lives, laughed, drank, chatted some more. It was like someone had lifted a ten ton weight off my shoulders and it felt good. The more we talked, the more i realised that I wasn't the only one with a past. Jill too had been through what I had and it was good to talk to someone who could actually relate to what I was feeling and thinking. Her husband had left her for his secretary six years ago and it had taken her a long time to come to terms with the fact that life still goes on and to enjoy it.

"You will get through it Jack. Look at me." she said. "Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. But I am still here and better for it, and so will you be.

I nodded. "Well I do hope so. Let's propose a toast." I raised my glass and Jill did likewise with hers. "To the future and whatever it may bring." We chinked glasses

"To the future." Jill repeated, holding my gaze and then winking at me. And believe me, if you have ever been winked at by a forty-odd year old dressed in school uniform, fishnet stockings and high heels, it is a memory that stays with you. Unfortunately, the moment was broken by an identically dressed woman standing next to us.

"Hey Mum. Whose this gorgeous bloke you're with then?" she asked.

Once again Jill burst out laughing before again composing herself. "Liz, this is Jack." The penny dropped in Liz's mind in record time and they both fell about laughing. When they had finally composed themselves, Jill turned to me. "Jack.This is my daughter Liz." I waved and nodded.

Liz nodded back and then carried on talking to her Mum. "We are going to that club now. Are you coming?"

"I don't think so love." she replied to her daughter. "You go and enjoy yourself. Besides, I am quite happy here." She turned and smiled at me.

Liz laughed. "So I can see! I'll ring you in the morning OK. You can tell me everything then."

Jill nodded. "Not too early though. I may still be asleep or...." Her voice trailed off and I felt myself going a dark shade of crimson.

"Yeah, thanks for that Mum. Much to much information. Just be careful OK." She said, giving her mum a hug and peck on the cheek.

"I will love. You just enjoy yourself." and with that off went Jill's daughter.

"Sorry about that Jack. I couldn't resist." she said turning back to me.

"Hey, no problems. So what next? Another drink?" I asked, my heart racing

"No, not another drink. I think it's about time your healing process moved on a bit." Jill stood up and reached out her hand towards me. I gave a deep sigh and took it, raising myself up and standing next to her. She leaned into me and whispered "Your place or mine?"

"Yours." I whispered back. She smiled and leant in again but this time not to whisper in my ear. I felt her lips brush mine, softly at first but then with more feeling as I responded in kind, our mouths opening and then kissing each other deeply yet tenderly. We broke the kiss and she said. "Come on. Lets go."

I have to admit my mind was racing all the way back to Jill's house. It was only a five minute walk but with every step I was getting more and more nervous. It had been a while since I had done anything like this and all sorts of things were going round in my head. Jill must have sensed this as she stopped walking and turned to me, slipping her arms around my waist and pulling me to her. "It's OK, you know, to feel scared. I am scared too Jack. It's been a while for me as well. But I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to. I'll let you into a little secret. I was watching you all night in that pub, for about two hours before I plucked up the courage to come and talk to you. Even when you're friends had gone I still waited. You seemed to be looking everywhere else and I could never catch your eye. But something made me come over to you Jack. You looked burdened and I thought to myself why was such a good looking man looking so troubled and that's what finally made me come over to you. I had to know, to find out and I glad that I did." It was Jill's turn to turn all coy.

"And I am glad that you did as well Jill." I said smiling down at her, my arms by now around her waist as well. "And yes, I am scared but with you I know it will be OK." With that we kissed again just as tenderly as before and then continued walking to Jill's.

We kissed again at her front door, this time with more urgency as Jill tried to find her keys, eventually doing so but then fumbling attempting to put them into the lock. "Here let me." My hands we shaking as I turned the key and opened her front door. Moving aside, I let her walk in first, and then I followed, closing the door behind me. Nothing was said as she put down her bag and took the keys from me, placing them on the hall table. She took my hand in silence, her eyes never leaving my face and then lead me towards, and up, the stairs. I swear to this day we could hear each others heart beating as we climbed the stairs and opened the door to her bedroom.

Once inside we stopped, Jill pulling me to her and once again kissing me, this time more passionately, more wanting and I responded in kind. This wasn't going to be just sex or a one night stand. We both knew it and we both respected it. This was going to be more .This was two people who were going to enjoy every minute, every second of each other, every second of tonight and beyond. Jill began undoing the buttons of my shirt, pulling it from shoulders and then from my arms. Her fingers ran through the wisps of hair on my chest, sending shivers down my spine, making me kiss her even more deeply. She stepped back, her eyes taking me in as she slowly undid each button of her white blouse, letting it fall aimlessly to the floor. She reached behind and began to unclasp her bra, still her eyes never leaving me. Coyly she brought her arms to the front, crossing them in front of her now bra-less chest. Slowly she unfolded them and with a wink dropped the garment to floor, her breasts now exposed to me for the first time. My eyes drank in the beauty of this, what seemed to me, perfectly formed woman. I walked the one pace between us and now it was me pulling Jill onto me, our naked torso's meeting as I kissed her with a passion long gone, but now found and burning. My hands roaming over the smooth skin of her back as her fingernails grazed likewise over mine. My hand reaching over to the top her skirt, unbuttoning it and sliding the zipper down. She moved every so slightly, allowing it to fall at her feet, and then stepped out of it. Her hands moved down to my waist, pulling me closer to her. She moaned as she felt my now growing hardness push against her through the confines of my trousers and reached down in between us, rubbing and stroking it as we kissed.

She broke the kiss and then in one movement sank to her knees in front of me. Looking up at me, she unbuttoned my trousers and the slowly lowered the zipper. My trousers fell at me feet as she rubbed my now very hard member through my briefs, and then finally removing my briefs, exposing me totally. Jill snaked out her tongue across the crown of my cock and then kissed it before sliding her lips down one side then the other. Slowly she slide the head into her mouth and began to bob gently on it, her hands massaging my balls as they hung below. I let out a deep moan, hardly believing this was actually but enjoying every mind blowing sensation that I was feeling. I looked down at her through half-closed eyes and she smiled back up at me, releasing my cock from her mouth with a loud plop.

"You will get more of that later. But tonight, now, I want you inside me, making love to me, fucking me." she said, still on her knees, still with my cock in her hand. She had turned from schoolgirl to seductress and I was not going to complain. Pulling her up, we kissed again and I could taste myself on her lips and tongue. Breaking the kiss she fell on the bed as I kicked off my shoes and then took off my socks, now completely naked. I looked over to Jill, who now laying on her bed, just clad in black fishnet stockings, a black thong and heels. Slowly she lifted her legs and raised her hips off the bed. Hooking her fingers in the side of her thong she pulled it off and over her legs, before discarding it over the side of the bed. I walked over to the bed, climbing on it and over Jill. I raised myself up on my hands and looked down at her, naked, sexy and gorgeous. Her legs spread around me, her breathing hard making her breasts move. "Be gentle Jack." she whispered.

I smiled and took her hand and placed it on my cock, allowing her to guide me into her. We gasped in unison as the tip of my cock touched her pussy lips, allowing me to feel for the first time her wetness, her arousal. She let go of me and raised her hips up, enabling me to slide gently into her. I didn't move, allowing her to accept me, to enjoy me deep within her. She would let me know when she was ready.

Slowly Jill began to move and I moved with her. I planted little butterfly kisses on her neck, shoulders and lips as her legs widened and then wrapped around my hips, pulling me deeper into her. I felt sensations and feelings that I had never felt before as our bodies joined. I began to move faster, and then slower. Fucking, then making love. Her nails dragging over my back as I nibbled on her ears and neck. Little bites and soft kisses. My lips covered a nipple, sucking it in to my mouth, gently rolling my tongue over it, softly nibbling it. I heard Jill moan as she moved faster, leading me this time as I began to push hard into her, deep into her. As if sensing each others needs, our eyes flicked open at the same time and stayed open, both of us wanting to watch others pleasure. Our hips began to grind and movements more urgent. Our breathing become more ragged by the second as we moved quicker. It was though Jill was pulling me into her, squeezing me with every stroke, wanting me so much inside her. She was close and so was I. I pushed harder and quicker, Jill moved with and I felt her body shudder as she began to moan louder and louder. Her hips bucked as she reached her orgasm, clenching her pussy around my cock which pushed me over the edge and I cried out as I began to explode inside her. Our screams and moans were for all to hear as we came in unison, our peaks reached together and our bodies joined as one.

It took a while for us both to come down from our heights, the intensity of what we had just done never far from our minds. I had never experienced anything like it and I knew that Jill hadn't either. It could never be taken away from us and whatever happened in the future would never be forgotten. Slowly and unwantingly, we disentangled ourselves from the other and removed what clothes we still had on. Snuggling under the quilt, Jill curled herself around me. Not a word had been spoken for about half an hour but it needed no words.

She kissed me lightly on the cheek, placed her hand over my heart and said. "Thank you Jack."

I smiled at her and placed my hand over hers, shaking my head. "It's me who should be thanking you Jill." She smiled and cuddled into me, her eyes closed and her hand over my heart. I smiled in the darkness. Healed? Not yet. On the way? Beyond doubt. With that, I shut my eyes.