Author's note: Thank you very much for editing Angel Love. It's appreciated.
My friend,
Thank you for making "dirty" a safe place, for taking care and for saying "no" when I could not say it myself.
Sun shone through my blue curtains causing streaks of light to sting my still closed eyes. A rude awakening that was pulling me from the comfort of a firm mattress, 3 blankets and a soft comforter. It was winter and I didn't have to remove the bedclothes to catch the 64 degrees Fahrenheit chill of the house I shared with a friend. The floor stung as I planted my feet on the floor groggily standing up determined to face the day despite a broken heart. I had lost a friend.
Never being able to tolerate clothes while I slept I reached for the pajamas I had removed at some point during the night. Heaped on the floor were pink silk lounge pants and a matching tank that I topped with a pink bathrobe. I prayed for my body temperature to rise fast. On the way out of my room I tripped on a power cord that attached to the end of my ten-year-old disc player. A loud "oh fuck" surely woke my roommate. I was never one to hold back when it came to profanity. I padded down the stairs with a very large cup of coffee on my mind. Three cups would be a nice start to what I knew would be a long day.
Work had become solace for me but I was being forced to use accrued vacation time left over from the previous year. As I measured out my secret stash of Tim Horton's and enough water to get me going I took a mental checklist of how I would distract myself for the next two days. A quick trip to my hairstylist, a doctor's appointment, groceries, return movies, see chiropractor and hopefully make it to the gym. It seemed like a lot but I still felt there would be too much time to think and reflect over the events of the past few months.
My dirty little secret. I had fallen for a married man. I had never meant for it to happen but one day I realized he meant more to me than I had intended. We met at work. For months I only knew him as some guy in my department and didn't even know his name. Once his position changed within the company we had daily contact from then on.
The two of us had chemistry. I had had more boyfriends than I could count on both hands but no one had ever affected me quite like this man. No doubt it was because he was forbidden fruit. We always crave what we can't have right? Still he stimulated me sexually and mentally quite intensely.
Somehow when he wasn't around the day seemed to drag on painfully slow. Long overtime hours became a necessary evil as money was tight but my friend made the time pass by quickly. It began with cheeky emails exchanged between the two of us. Our flirtations were subtle and tentative at first. A sort of sexual "feeling each other out". It was fun and I enjoyed the rapport I shared with this man I would soon consider my friend. He could be uncharacteristically shy at times when it came to our encounters and I soon became determined to get this man to open up and show me his wild side.
I was on a mission to get him to look me in the eye and say to me "I want to fuck you". It was all part of the game and night by night we were getting hotter and the more I teased the more my friend would turn a brilliant shade of red. A characteristic I found very charming in him. I also discovered my new found friend provided excellent backs rubs and he was more than happy to provide a nightly massage at my desk knowing I suffered constant pain. Little did he know at the time while he was working out the ropes of knots in my back, that part between my legs would take on a life of it's own. I suspected he was affected in this way as well.
I was well aware we were behaving inappropriately considering he was married. Not to mention the fact he was looking down my shirt as he provided his nightly service. Still to us, it was just fun and a break in the daily monotony. We shared secrets both dirty and clean. My friend became not only a pseudo lover to me but a confidant as well. He was someone I could talk to about anything on my mind both good and bad. He was there for me and as a result I fell for him. Still, I kept my eyes open and my thoughts realistic. I could see this man loved his wife. He struggled with his desire to be with me but remained determined to be faithful. I admired him for this and I envied his wife for having someone so wonderful to love her. I felt she must be a special woman for him to have fallen for her, as a man I found to be so kind would never love someone unworthy of him.
We made a pact one night that we would never do anything to hurt his wife. I left work that evening confident we were under control and no emotional harm would come to me or this couple's marriage. Everything was going well until a couple of weeks later when my friend and I made the mistake of being alone together.
Touches meant to be innocent were turned into more intimate ones and shortly our tongues danced and his hands found their way to my breasts. For a few blissful moments I was in heaven. After weeks of shameless flirting I was finally in the arms of the man I had become to care for as more then my friend. It was terribly wrong but it filled a need that had not been met in a very long time. His touch was kind and gentle and rocked me to the very core. His kisses not only filled me emotionally but encouraged the very essence of my sexuality to become enflamed and engorged. My pussy literally melted when this man touched me and hot liquid drenched my panties as a result. We stopped not long after this and pulled away from each other. I hung my head in shame. I begged the man to let it go and to not behave in any ways that would cause us both discomfort over the coming days as I knew reality and regret would settle in. We also both agreed the physical contact would never happen again as it was wrong. So I picked up my belongings and kissed my friend one more time, knowing there would never be another chance to do so.
That evening was our downfall. From then on things changed dramatically between my friend and I. He became significantly withdrawn from me and I hurt as a result.
I felt like the friend I had had for a while was now gone and all the fun and excitement were taken away as well. Although I understood he wanted to protect his marriage and that was noble, I was hurt and angry. My friend was deserting me when I needed him the most. I needed to talk to him to share my burden as he would be the only person in my life to ever have knowledge of our relationship. I needed to lean on him more then ever but he continued to pull away.
I can't say I could really blame him as he was trying to protect the woman he loved but as my hurt grew so did my anger. While I carried the sadness with me well into the night tossing and turning he slept peacefully in his bed next to his wife, me forgotten.
Things became very tense between us over the next few weeks. My friend and I fought a fair bit. Emails I sent were left unanswered. If only he knew how sad I was during those weeks. I felt hurt and anger I had never anticipated as I was losing my friend. Sure some of it was warranted some of it not but there were times my friend was unfair and showed no recognition of my feelings. He had changed along with our relationship and there was nothing I could do about this.
So I awoke this morning with an intense sadness. Somehow I had to find a way to get through the next couple of days and fill my spare time. I followed my usual morning routine including feeding the cats, checking the weather forecast, logging into online banking and returning emails. I was a creature of habit and liked my routine and followed the same one every morning.
Once done it was time to head up to the shower before my roommate got up and took over the bathroom for an indescribable amount of time. I decided I deserved to show myself some extra attention while in the shower and took time shaving my legs, cleansing with scented body gel and gently shaved the hair along my delicate pussy lips. I was not going to let sadness cause me to neglect my grooming habits as I had always kept myself tidy. I emerged from the shower feeling better and more ready to face the day.
Make up carefully applied came next, followed by styling what I had always been told was my best asset, natural red, wavy hair. I took my time getting dressed choosing a thong I felt very cheeky wearing as there was a picture of a cat where the fabric lay across my pussy. I choose a standard white bra that would provide great coverage in a T-shirt. Next I donned my favorite pair of jeans and topped it with a pink tee. I had to admit, I looked pretty good.
As I sipped my breakfast, a power shake I headed in to the dining room to get a good look at a plant I had purchased only a few months before. It's name was Bridal Veil and it appeared to be slowly dying. I remembered my roommate telling me the plant had outgrown its pot and therefore a trip to the nursery became another addition to the menu of the day. After a brief chat with some friends on MSN while finishing breakfast I grabbed my bag and headed out.
The trip to the hairstylist was quick and I was on my way to the nursery by 10:00 AM. Pulling into the lot off the highway I scanned for a close spot to park. Unsuccessful due to construction I pulled to a spot closer to the street than to the building, put the car in park and turned off the ignition. I quickly crossed the parking lot and entered the nursery through a set of double doors. It was huge, having a 50,000 square-foot showroom and greenhouse well equipped not only with seasonal furniture, indoor/outdoor plants, trees and gift items as well. I was not exactly a green thumb so was surely going to need some help finding the right pot and fertilized earth for my overgrown plant.
I headed off to the left into the indoor plant greenhouse. How I loved the scent of fresh flowers and plants. The heady aroma of a thousand different species of foliage blending in to one uniquely clean and erotic scent. It had always been a fantasy of mine to make love in a greenhouse. I wandered the aisles rather aimlessly looking for bags of fertilizer.
I must have appeared forlorn as from behind me I heard "Can I help you?"
I turned around and before me was a handsome man appearing to be in his late 30's who stood about 5"11 or so. He wore jeans, black shoes and a blue sweater that was topped by a green apron, store issue. He was by no means gorgeous but certainly caught my eye and a flush spread over my cheeks. I explained to him the reason I was there and asked for his advice. He guided me to some shelves containing various bags and bottles and began describing the intricacies of choosing the correct fertilizer for each plant. There were liquids and granules forms. Some organic, some not. All came with different levels of phosphorus, nitrogen and potassium in them. He talked about soil PH and lectured me on the impaction of precipitation on soil quality. I began to feel like I was in a chemistry lesson as opposed to a nursery. All I wanted was some good soil, fertilizer and a pot so I could get on with my day. He must have sensed this as he relented in his lecture, apologized and looked embarrassed.
