Do you believe in love? I try to believe in it, deep inside I want to. But reality has shown me that love is far from the fairytale in a book or movie. Love can be excruciatingly painful and often doesn't have the 'happily ever after' ending. I've seen enough of bad endings, with family, friends, and even myself. I thought I wasn't destined for true love, the love where you walk with your head in the clouds all day, where you can't stop smiling because butterflies are tickling the inside of your stomach, until on one October morning things would change.
It was one of those dreary mornings where I look out of my bedroom window and all I see is one solid grey sky. The sun was completely hidden from view and the only thing I wanted to do was crawl back into my bed, throw the sheets over my head, and fall asleep again. But instead I had to force myself to get ready for work. I live and work in a fairly big city and for me the metro is the easiest way to go to work. While not my favorite way to travel, it's reliable, most of the time, and I don't get stuck in traffic jams.
The three metro lines, or subway as they call it in most places outside my province, Quebec, are the veins of the city. A lot of people like me use it every day to get to their destinations in the morning, or evening. And because so many people use it as their main way to commute around the city, it can be very cramped at times. When I'm in the metro I like observing my fellow passengers. While there is a lot of diversity in skin color, hair color, size and style of clothing, I noticed most passengers have that same expressionless look on their face, tucked away in a book or newspaper or just staring into the nothingness in front of them. There's always a lack of acknowledgment of their fellow commuters as they shuffle around, reluctantly making room for one another while they hide in their own little bubble, listening to their iPods or just look passed each other.
It wasn't different on that gloomy Thursday morning when I sat in the metro, lucky to have a seat. People in front of me were uncomfortable moving around to let new passengers in while the metro stood still at another stop. I was looking around when two sunflower yellow sneakers caught my eye. I don't know why, but it was something cheerful amidst brown, black and grey shoes, and curious to whom they belonged to; I followed the jeans, which were connected to the shoes, upwards. But because of the mass of bodies huddled closer together than most people are comfortable with in a normal situation, I couldn't see the face that belonged to the yellow sneakers. The metro came to a halt at the university stop and the yellow sneakers disappeared from the metro.
Probably a student then
, I thought to myself, and while the metro continued its journey, the yellow shoes were forgotten and my mind was occupied with tasks that had to be done that day at work.
A few days later I was on my way to work again; all seats were occupied when I got in so I was leaning with my back against the side, staring aimlessly down, deep in thought when I saw them again, the sunflower yellow sneakers. They were standing in front of the door, not far from where I stood. Although all seats were occupied, the metro wasn't overcrowded and curiously I looked up to see more of this mysterious person this time.
I noticed it was a girl but unfortunately the girl, to whom the shoes belonged to, was standing with her back towards me. She wasn't tall, about 5'2" and her brown hair reached to just a few inches over her shoulders. She wore a dark brown jacket, in contrast to her yellow shoes, and black pants. For some strange reason, there was something about her that fascinated me. Her demeanor, her appearance, or maybe just her yellow sneakers, I wasn't really sure. But I knew I wanted to know more about her.
But it would be a bit strange to tap a stranger on the shoulder, someone I've never talked to before, and say: "Hey, those are some nice shoes, I just wanted to know what you look like." So I did nothing. And when the metro reached the University stop, I watched her step out, hoping to catch a glimpse of her face as she turned to walk to the exit. But she didn't turn enough for me to see her face and when the metro pulled away, she disappeared out of sight.
The next few days I was paying extra attention to spot the girl with the yellow shoes. I had never seen at what stop she got onto the metro and I was getting very curious, or maybe a little bit obsessed, about this mysterious person. Days passed without a glimpse of the yellow shoes. Until, on a sunny Friday morning I was sitting in the metro again on my way to work. For some reason it's always less crowded on sunny days, or maybe it was because it was a Friday, or maybe a mix of both, but there were enough free seats available, even next to me.
It was only the second stop after the stop where I get in when the doors of the metro opened and a pair of yellow shoes were standing and waiting on the platform. I quickly looked up and there she was, my mysterious person. Finally I could see the face of the mysterious owner of the yellow shoes, and what kind of a face. Her shapely face, framed by her medium brown hair, was more beautiful than I had imagined. Her sweet brown eyes looked aimlessly forward, as if deep in thought. But it must have been pleasant thoughts, because the corners of her soft pink lips were curled up into a smile.
Suddenly she looked straight at me, her eyebrows arched in a questioning look. Then I realized what I was doing. I was sitting there staring at her, with the look on my face of a child looking into the window of a toy store. I quickly looked the other way, while I cursed myself for my dorky behavior. She must have thought I was some kind of weirdo for staring at her with a strange look on my face.
To my surprise I saw her coming towards me in the reflection of the metro window, and actually sat down beside me. I was thinking hard about what to say to her to explain me staring at her like that. I could say something funny to make her laugh and various comical comments popped into my mind, but were soon dismissed as too cheeky. Then I remembered what a friend of mine once said, when we were in a discussion about similar situations like this, the stranger part, not the staring like a weirdo part. She said that sometimes a simple "hello" was more than enough. Not knowing what else to say, I decided to try it. If it wouldn't work I could always blame my friend. Tell her she was wrong.
I turned my head to the girl and said: "Hello."
"Hi," she replied softly. I was still thinking about what to say next when she spoke again. "It may sound a little strange, but you just looked at me as if you recognized me from somewhere. Do you recognize me from somewhere? "
Okay, so she saw me staring at her, but fortunately she thought it was a look of recognition instead of a creepy look.
"Your yellow sneakers," I said without thinking. As soon as the words left my mouth I was cursing to myself for not thinking before actually saying something.
"My yellow sneakers?" She asked as she giggled softly. "How do you know my yellow sneakers?"
I couldn't help myself from smiling, thinking about how strange that must have sounded, and I decided to confess to her.
"Well, it may sound a bit strange, but a few days ago I saw you in the metro, well I saw your yellow sneakers. But it was so crowded, I could only see your sneakers and I was curious about the person who was wearing those yellow sneakers."
"And you still remembered that, even a few days later?" the girl ask, grinning at me.
I wasn't really sure how to answer that. It did sound a bit silly. I looked her in the eyes and winked. "There are some things I just don't want to forget."
"Well, aren't you the charmer," she said, a light red blush adorning her face.
We laughed and the ice was broken. Soon we were swapping funny anecdotes about the metro and things related to it. And it was all too soon that her stop was nearing.
"I have to get off at the next stop. It was nice meeting you..."
"Tom," I said quickly.
"Meggie," she replied holding out her hand.
"It was certainly nice meeting you, Meggie," I said while taking her hand into mine.
The following weeks we ran into each other in the metro regularly. Those ten minutes we spent together sitting or standing next to each other were something special, our little thing. Bit by bit we got to know each other. We talked about my work, her studies, little things that kept us busy or big things that were important to us.
There was always this sexual tension between us, the playful punch she gave me when I made another one of my bad jokes, the pat on her leg I gave her when we had to laugh when she said something silly. Those electric touches that lingered through our bodies but we both didn't want to admit they were there.
It was early December and the first snow had fallen. The city was covered in its first white of the winter and it always has something magical. I decided I wanted to do something about the relationship with Meggie. She seemed to be in my head more often than not and I could no longer deny that I had feelings for her. On the occasional day that I didn't see her in the metro, I felt disappointed. Luckily those days were few because she knew which metro I always took to work and would be ready and waiting on the platform to get in on that same metro.
On that first snowy day Meggie came in and sat next to me. We said our hellos and of course the snowfall was our conversation subject. After a while I changed the subject.
"Meggie, we never talked about this, but I have a feeling there's more between us than we both want to admit."
"That could be possible," Meggie said with a mysterious smile.
"Well possibly, would you go out to dinner with me sometime then?" I asked, looking into her sweet brown eyes.
"Well, possibly, I could say yes to that."
"I could possibly even cook for you," I said, while winking at her.
"That's possibly even more interesting," she responded, staring somewhat dreamily.
"Tell you what. You know when I take the metro so we'll do this. Next week, if I see you in the metro on Monday, I take you out for dinner. If I see you on Tuesday, I'll cook for you at my place. If I see you on Wednesday, we'll never talk about this ever again."
Meggie thought for a moment and then smiled at me. "Okay, deal."
