She arrived home, tired and bothered. Although she was settling into her new position, it had been hard, those first weeks. She was aware of the need to constantly think, not only of her professional obligations, but also where she must 'fit' into the organisation. She was tired of doing so much thinking.
"Why can't some one just tell me what to do, for a change. I don't want to think about anything tonight."
She entered the lobby of her apartment building, brushing her thick hair away from her neck and twisting it into a coil down one side of her face. A rich dark brown, the hair was a contrast against her paler skin, but matched her dark brown eyes. She pushed her glasses back onto her nose. Going to the mail boxes, her long, elegant fingers slotted the key into the little door, the number of her apartment on a pressed metal label. She opened the door.
"God, more junk mail," she muttered, "but what's this?"
A small parcel lay on the floor of the mail space, maybe four inches by six inches, flat, perhaps a quarter of an inch thick. It was wrapped in plain brown paper, a neatly printed label with her name spelt out, Miss R ______, the apartment and street address all correct, but the post mark blurred, fuzzy. She could not make out where it was posted from, nor when. The corner of her mouth lifted in a wry smile. Who is sending me something addressed to a Miss, she thought, that's odd.
In her apartment she is quick to lock the door behind her, and quickly feeds little kitty, who chirrups a welcome and laces between her ankles.
"Oh, goodness, silly cat, I'm going to trip over you one of these days," she laughs as the little cat bunts her hand with its head.
The cat now content with its food, she falls into her favourite chair by the window, and carefully opens the plain brown wrapping of the small parcel. She notes that it is precisely folded, and the paper, now that she looks at it closely, appears to be hand made or at least, not standard newsagent stock. There is nothing on the back, no clue as to the sender.
Peeling the brown paper away, she finds underneath another layer of paper. The wrapping really is exquisite, expensive. It must be hand made, cream coloured, gently textured, tied around with a single blue silk ribbon, the bow flattened but not creased.
Underneath the bow, which she teases up so that the loops of the ribbon sit looped and coiled, just as they would be when first tied P(and she imagines long fingers tying the bow, with great care), underneath the bow is the single initial R, beautifully written in dark blue ink, the final loop of the letter curving in a long swaying line, curving into loops as the nib of a pen runs across the paper.
She runs her finger over the ink, and can feel, ever so sensitively, the crease in the paper where the pen has run. She turns the parcel over, but there is nothing on the back, just the crossed squares of the ribbon. What can it be, she thinks, a book? But I've not ordered any books.
She raises the package to her nose, and scents a crisp freshness as if the paper has been near a lemon tree in bright sunlight, and beside that crisp smell, a slight musky tang. She wonders, and rubs her finger along the curve of the ink, puts it to her nose. Yes, the slightly musky scent is from the ink, she can sense the most delicate linger on the tip of her finger.
Curious, she touches the end of her finger to the tiny tip of her tongue, and the scent is also a lingering taste, subtle and elusive, but tantalising.
She crosses her long legs, rubbing one ankle against the soft slide of her stocking and stretching out her toes. She twists in her chair, a long stretch through her tired body. The finger that has touched the ink and the tip of her tongue, slowly moves to a pulse on her throat as if to measure something there. The finger tip is delicate, but she does not sense the slight flush on her neck, not yet. Her thighs clench, a tiny quickening flutter, but it is so subtle, it's beneath the threshold of her senses. But oh, it is there, a slow alchemy moving.
She turns the package over once more and looks at the curl and loop of the blue ribbon. The pulse on her throat cries out for the finger that has moved from that place, oh, you will miss my faster beat, but it is there, quickening. With her own long fingers (and she imagines his long fingers tying the bow with great care) she takes one end of the ribbon between her thumb and her finger and pulls upon it.
With a soft, silken sigh the ribbon unravels, and falls away from the paper. Released from its tied tension, the paper covering opens away from the gift inside (something this luxurious can only be a gift), shadowed openings as the paper relaxes, hinting at the object within.
Her movements are slow now, she is eager to see what is covered but at the same time wants the delight to last. Kitty comes and plays with the ribbon, throwing it high in her paws and catching it, and she laughs.
"Oh kitty, there's something for you, too. But who has sent this to me, so beautifully wrapped?"
She folds back the paper, careful not to tear it or crease it, and takes in her hands a book. A slim, slender book, bound in a rich red leather that is warm and soft to touch.
The leather is all down the spine, and a border all around the front cover. She turns the book over, and the same border is there, maybe three quarters of an inch wide. On the front cover, the same hand has written the same initial, R, again. The book is for her, there can be no mistake. Miss R.
She holds the book in both hands, taking in the workmanship and care that has been given to this small gift, but who can it be from, this beautiful thing? She looks around the room, and all is normal, the low light of the sinking sun casting a warm glow on the wall opposite the window, the dappled shadows of the tree outside slowly moving as the wind catches the leaves.
Kitty is curled on her favourite blanket, one paw stretching out to the blue ribbon still, as if she too wants to delight in her gift a little longer (a ribbon is such a simple delight, for a cat).
She can wait no longer, and opens the cover of the book to the first page.
Read. Be told.
What? Her mind jumps to her thought as she entered the lobby, I don't want to think tonight... What is this book?
She turns the page, her fingers slightly shaking now.
Have you eaten tonight? Eat. Drink.
This must be some kind of a joke, and she turns the page. But cannot. She tries to turn the page, but her finger cannot find the separation of the paper. It's as if the book is solid, just the first two pages turning. She flips back to the first page and the words are the same. She turns the second page once again and, ah me, she sighs, the book knows me.
Eat and drink now. Then you may turn the page.
She puts the book down hard on to the table. Her heart flutters. What the hell? How can those words change? She thinks back to when she last ate, lunchtime, hours ago. She realises she is indeed hungry, thirsty, but how does the book know? Her irrational mind remembers that she didn't want to think tonight, and here is a book telling her what to do. Her rational mind says, it's right, you need to eat, you need to drink. Then you can turn the page...
She picks the book up, and tries again to turn the page. But cannot. Again she sighs, places the book, more gently this time, upon the table, and gets to her feet. She is hungry, she realises, and a glass of wine would be good. The other day she had bought a couple of bottles of wine, a promotional special. Why not? A smooth red, a delicate taste in her mouth, on her tongue. Unconsciously, she lifts her finger to her nose again, and is reminded of that subtle musky scent. The ink. She looks back at the book.
Inside the book, but she doesn't know it yet, the third page is beginning to separate from the second. She is doing what she's been told.
Finding some leftovers from the fridge, she has the makings of a decent meal, provided she cooks up some pasta. So she does. Once the water is bubbling in the pot, she pours herself a glass of the wine, and reads the label. The package the book came in revealed nothing, but the label on the wine bottle paints a whole little picture of a far away place she doesn't know.
There's a little world, right there on the label. And the wine, maybe her taste has been sensitised, my goodness, it's so smooth, so tantalising. Just one sip, and she is feeling so much more relaxed. The long week fades.
As the water boils and the pasta cooks, she has ten minutes to get out of her street clothes, splash some water on her face, and relax, just sit, before she enjoys her meal. After all, the book won't turn the page until she does. And she would be unfaithful if she picked up any other book, not while her new book is patiently waiting.
Going to her bedroom she shimmies out of her tight skirt, peels the stockings down her long legs, drops her knickers in a froth of lace on the floor, leaving them all in a pile for the morning. She reaches for some clips to pull her hair up off her neck, away from her shoulders, out of the way. She piles it up high. She can shake it out later, brush it shiny before she goes to bed. But right now, she wants it up and out of the way.
She quickly undoes the buttons of her blouse, crisp and cream for work, stylish yet demure, and it falls down her long back to join the rest of her clothes on the floor. Reaching behind her back, she unclips her bra, and it too drops.