The First Time

ALL PARTIES ARE 18+ and CONSENTING.

The first time I heard the term "primal" in a sexual context I felt myself tense up. The word brought to mind a few images that did nothing to make me tingle in anticipation. Who wants to focus on animals and their mating rituals? I'm not that kind of girl.

I heard it on a site that caters to sexual desires outside what's considered "normal" or vanilla. Always having considered myself more a vanilla with sprinkles type of woman, hearing a man tell me that he thought I was far more than a touch flavorful and that I was definitely more of a primal being than I thought. When I mentioned what the word brought to mind and the fact that I was NOT interested in furry beings, he laughed and told me that the animal part was just letting go. It wasn't pretty sex, for some, but it was filled with biting, growling, scratching, and pounding.

Since I am insatiably curious, I started to "research" the topic. Urban dictionary, other sites, and what I learned sat in the back of my mind lingering, but not being touched. Kinky is kinky, but I just wasn't all that certain.

I love sex. I think that sex is natural and I think that reaching the peak, or watching the man I'm with take as much pleasure from me as I get from him is one of the best accomplishments and most satisfying things in the world. I do, however, get bored. At some point, foreplay has gone on for what feels like days and I get impatient. I've never been the type who wants marathon sex, because while I make sure that I cum, it's never been enough to make me want to keep going.

I returned to my old chat haunt, one I'd found soon after my divorce, where sex and erotica is embraced, but where making lasting friendships is not unheard of either. It felt strange, like coming back to your favorite diner, only to find that they've completely remodeled and changed the menu. It's nice, but not the same.

My first night, I spoke to many men. I even took great pleasure in using my "mouth" to help them through their "struggles". Having reached my own fever pitch, because I can get even wetter having a nice hard cock in my mouth and knowing that those moans he's making and his hands sliding through my hair to hold me to him is because of the delight I'm giving him is a potent aphrodisiac. I hadn't cum. I hadn't touched myself. I just gave.

In chat, no matter what pseudonym I use, the people who find me are usually those who are seeking reassurances that their sexual urges are acceptable. That they're desirable. That having a woman (or man) to please isn't outside the realm of possibility. My best friend has called me an unpaid sex counselor. I like to help. I want people to see that sex is right and having kinks (as long as it's between consenting adults) is perfectly reasonable.

The last scene I helped with was a bisexual man (not curious, but open with his sexuality) who wanted so badly to have a threesome with a bicurious man. I, of course, would be the third. He had a man chosen, but needed my help to get things rolling. In my mind it made as much sense as anyone who has the yearning to take a virgin out for their first spin, but while I love giving a hard cock all the attention my hands and mouth can take, there's something undeniably sexy seeing a man take another man down his throat.

By the time this scene, roleplay, playtime was nearing completion, I felt like my skin was on fire. I needed to cum. I wanted it and I would have begged had there been anyone I was willing to beg to. Still in chat, I got a private message from another member telling me I sounded tense in the room and if I was willing to try something with him. Usually I'd have logged off, clicked up one of the many movie sites and lost myself in Charles Dera's brand of fucking, but I was intrigued.

He had read about a technique, a voice stimulation that would or could make a person experience multiple orgasms without a single touch. Curious, but skeptical, I agreed to give it a go. His voice was almost hypnotic. Soft, yet demanding, careful and instructive. And I came, over and over before I even touched myself the first time he told me to. The first "session" lasted thirty minutes. The second, which was to help him reach the satisfaction level I had, lasted half and I still came, not hard, but many times. My legs were shaking and my fingers felt like I'd touched a live wire. I planned on going to bed. Sleeping it off, but I was still too keyed up.

Back to chat, back to conversation. And then he walked into my messages.

Intelligent, funny, and he managed to keep my attention firmly on him. We spoke about his situation, relationship status and finding out he was not only married but also poly put him, in my mind, firmly in the NO column. I hate sharing, I hate being shared, and so he was a "don't touch".

We continued to chat. A little of this, a little of that, more than small talk, less than debate. And he started to sneak in touches, or kisses. He picked up on the tidbits I offered about my proclivities, and he had been very open about his own. I'm not a submissive woman. I don't get down on my knees for any man unless I'm getting myself ready to give him the blowjob of his life. I am just as demanding in bed as any man could ever want to be, and yet, I also don't consider myself dominant in that way. The point of fucking is to take as much pleasure while you giving it.

Soon we were getting deeper, and then, he gave me every fucking thing that I'd never told anyone I wanted because I hadn't admitted it to myself.

It starts simply enough. A rough finger sliding along my bare neck. Moving my hair out of the way so he can run his nose along the curve of my shoulder all the way to the sensitive skin below my ear. Soft kisses, licks, until everywhere he touches feels like he's leaving a scorch mark behind. My breath becomes harder to catch as his path goes back down to my neck where he opens his mouth and lets his teeth scrape against my pulse. That tiny graze nearly made my knees buckle, but his arm wrapped around my waist to hold me upright. Finding proof in his theory, all softness stops.

Ripping clothes off, leaving a tangled pile on the floor, our mouths finally meet but it's not tempting anymore, it's demanding. Tongue fights tongue, teeth tug at lips, and the growls that he had almost whispered while tasting my skin now vibrated through me. My nails dug into his shoulders as he slammed my back against the wall, and as he pounded himself into my absolutely soaking pussy, I wanted nothing more than the wall to bear the imprint of our fucking.

Moaning and wrapping my legs around his hips, arching up to meet every hard and fast thrust I felt like I'd finally been unchained. Scratching, biting, hair pulling, all in the name of feeling more, tasting more, taking more. Not just for play, but because it didn't feel right if we weren't rutting and mauling at one another.

My first orgasm slammed through me as hard as my back hitting the wall had, and then the second came when he turned and we landed on the bed. Holding my legs higher, spreading me wide open, he kept pounding into me, determined to milk every scream and orgasm from me he could get. It came fast and hard, so hard that the pleading started. Me begging him, just begging by saying his name over and over. Begging for what? My body and mind didn't know. An end to this glorious torture? Feeling too spent to continue, for him to cum inside me? He knew me better than myself in that moment, because instead of stopping, he kept going.

Having a beast, man formed and demanding, absolutely determined to fuck you until you can only whimper, moan, and scream in ecstasy is unlike any other fuck you can have. And once you have it the first time. You can't help but want it again and again.

I told him when he said he wished we were neighbors and once I felt like a worn out dishrag from the most satisfying cybersex I'd ever fucking experienced in my entire life, that if that were the case, the rest of the neighborhood would either be envious or have to smoke after every time we came together. And if that isn't the fucking goal, then I don't know what is.