I stare blankly at the text facing me.
Do you still want to have sex with me?
Scrolling up the page, I see that you are still online.
I quickly type back:
Are you serious? I mean, are you asking if I
would
want to if you were willing - or that you
are
willing…?
I quickly hit send.
I click over and over on my profile… anxious to see the inbox fill once again. I dare a couple of brief glances over the beautiful pics of your incredible body on your profile.
Finally a message.
Do you want to?
A thousand thoughts flood my mind as I look at those four heart throbbing words. It takes me what seems like an eternity to click the reply button and type my two word response –
God yes
After scribbling down your phone number, I call you.
"Hello?"
"Its Mike…"
"Oh – hey" your voice … as lovely as it sounds its not quite what I expected. There's something about your tone.
"Hey… is everything ok? You sound… I don't know – upset?"
"Oh, it's nothing…"
An hour later you're done spilling your heart - leaving me wondering why you e-mailed me in the first place.
"Well, after that ass hole of a boyfriend I was dating cheated on me, at first I was heart broken –"
"- It sounds like you still are," I reply.
"Yeah, well… I hear the best medicine for a broken heart is finding a new one or taking revenge on the one who broke it. I figure with you, I could kill two birds with one stone. You just seemed so sincere before, when you told me you wanted to."
My mind flashes to a few months ago.
Lauren, honestly I don't mean to offend you… it's just… your just so… beautiful… I mean, who wouldn't want to make love to you?! I mean, I don't want to just you know, one night stand wham bam thank you mama… I want you to enjoy it, as much as I know I would… I mean, that's the whole point. I don't just want to have sex with you… I want to
please
you. I want us to
enjoy
simply being with each other. No strings – you won't have me calling you the next day sayin when can we do it again – nothing like that.
"Well," I reply, "I was sincere. I meant every word…"
"Do you still mean it?"
I hesitated.
"Lauren… I'd
love
–
LOVE
to have sex with you… you just have no idea… But the whole revenge thing? …"
A moment of silence.
"So you're saying no?"
"No. Not that…"
"Then what," you ask softly.
I took a deep breath.
"I don't want your ex to be on your mind when you're with me. Be it thinking of revenge or wishing you had him back."
Silence.
"Look, I know how it feels having a broken heart… I think I've had
more
than my fair share of them."
I pause considering my words.
"How bout we hang out. Catch a movie, get some food, walk the mall and window shop, what ever you feel like."
"What if what I want is to have my ex see me with you?"
"Then I'll have to find some way to get your mind off him and back onto
us
."
I can almost hear the shock ringing through your mind.
As my car pulls into the parking space, my heart begins pounding.
One of the most beautiful women I've ever seen is probably already in the mall, waiting to meet me.
And
she's willing to have sex if I wanted to!
Even the clearest skies in early spring are rarely as beautiful as today.
As I approach the food court, I see you rise from behind one of the small shrubs used to decorate the area, your eyes fixed on me. Wearing a softly colored sundress that looks light enough to float off your slender figure, a soft yet warm smile spreads across your lips.
My heart is a cannon pounding in my chest.
You are… magnificent.
My feet begin to drag as I approach, stumbling slightly, weak at the sight of your luscious body finally standing before me – in person.
You giggle softly as I recover my composure. As I approach, you hold your arms wide and we embrace. After what seems like a rather long moment, I place a soft peck on your cheek and we sit at the table.
"Thank you for coming Mike. It really does mean a lot to me."
"Please, are you kidding? Miss a chance to meet you face to face? And for the record, you should update your pictures. The ones you have on your profile don't do you justice."
A flirtatious kind of smile forms on your face as your head tilts slightly to one side and a slight
awww
escapes.
"Well, I thought
your
pics were kinda cute," you reply. "But I think you look a lot better in person. Your eyes are absolutely hypnotizing! And you've got much broader shoulders than it looks like you do in your pics."
"Yeah, a much broader waist too."
You laugh heartedly.
"No you look good. Maybe you could be in better shape, but you aren't scrawny like a lot of guys I see. And you aren't bulging obscenely at the waist."
You laugh as you see me cringe.
"Go do some sit ups and get back in shape and you'll look great. And like I said, I love your eyes!"
"Yeah, its all about the baby blues…" I lean forward resting my chin on my wrists, batting my eyelashes in mocking flirtation, "chicks dig the eyes."
You let out a loud chuckle that draws the attention of other shoppers around us.
Leaning forward, hoping to draw less attention, I softly ask, "So, what did you have on the agenda?"
"Well, I thought first a little shopping, then a stop by the Marble Slab for some mint chocolate I've been craving the past few days since we talked on the phone. From there maybe the park for an hour or so – so I can get my sun for the day. Oh, and I looked online to see what movies are playing, nothing looked all that appealing, so I thought we'd go back to your place – or mine – and rent a movie and hang out."
My mind registers every word you say, but it's focus is on the slightly strawberry tent to your brown hair, a perfect match for your light brown eyes. Your plump rosy cheeks as you smile, the subtle curve of your cleavage under your dress.
I want so desperately to reach across the table, pull you into my arms and kiss you forever.
After I get a drink, we start walking the promenade. My senses are keenly aware of how close you stand to me as we talk. The scent of your perfume…
I try desperately keep my attention on the conversation. We are here for you. A chance to get your mind off things and just have a good time. But being so close to you, after wanting you so badly for the past 8 months, is intoxicating.
You stroll into a few clothing stores with me tagging behind. You look at a few shirts or jeans, holding the various articles up for me to give my approving nod or sour shake of the head. As if I'm one to judge fashion.
Before I know it we've made a lap half way around the mall. You hold your head proud for having – so far – not purchased a thing. As we round the corner I notice a twinkle in your eye. I turn to look in the direction your looking and the cannon in my chest goes off once again.
You bee-line straight for Victoria's Secret.
I am so not making it out of this mall alive.
You scurry about, from one display to the next, avoiding picking up any one item for fear of purchasing it, yet its there plainly on your face – you are on a mission.
I bask in the knowledge that the passers by, the customers in the store, the employees… they all know that you are with me, shopping for bras and panties. It could only be better if there were bra and bikini clad sales women to present you with your selection.
"I think I'll try these on real quick," you say, curling up a rather skimpy wad of cloth in your hand.
"If you don't mind that is?"
"Of course… I'll wait right here," I reply trying not to look obviously curious as to what you are trying on.
I try to look not so out of place in the middle of a lingerie shop while waiting for you to return.
Just, think casual…
You finally appear, seeming to be rather pleased, and head straight for the register. You shoo me away as I approach, the cute cashier glancing up giving me a sly grin while giggling. As I step toward the entrance of the store, out of the corner of my eye I see you seem to whisper to the cashier. Paying it no mind, I wait. You dart again into the dressing room and after a few moments reappear and address the cashier.
Finally, clutching your new purchase like a badge, we stroll out of the store back into the bustle of the promenade. You seem a bit more at ease, yet inexplicably excited, especially considering the reason for our meeting – your ex.
We finally come to the Marble Slab. For once, they have my favorite… mint chocolate. The perfect blend of chocolate with a syrupy swirl of mint. Divine.
You start to nibble on yours as you set down your V.S. bag.
"Oooo this is
soo