The interview was a disaster. She was late because she lost the detailed directions. The new outfit was ill fitting and she nervously shifted around in her chair the whole time. Apparently, no one had told her you need to find some empathy with the interviewers. Afterwards, my PA, who was leaving, shook her head sadly. The HR staffer said, "we'll find more candidates for you, Jeff."
A little later, as I walked through the lobby on my way out for the day, I noticed her sitting at the bar which occupied one side of the lobby space. On a whim, I turned and went in. She was staring at a double martini which looked as though it had yet to find its way to her lips.
Standing close behind her, I said, "Karen, why don't you skip the gin and let me buy you dinner?" Her head jerked up, face frozen in fear. "Mr. Anderson! I didn't expect to see you again."
Putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, I said, "Some days are better than others. A bad interview is not the end of the world. Let's get some food and talk about your future."
"Oh gosh, what is an important guy like you doing being nice to me? I completely blew that interview."
Our eyes met in the mirror behind the bar. There was more there than I expected to see. I gave her shoulder another squeeze and nodded to the barman that the tab should go on my open account.
"Come on, I don't bite."
The barman said, "You're fine, miss. Don't turn down a free meal. You are safe with him."
She was carrying an unfashionable backpack, which I took control of. My favorite grill was a block away, which was a bit of a struggle for her with the uncomfortable heels.
"You have sneakers in here?" She nodded and I ducked into a storefront recess, extracting them from the pack. She quickly changed and held the heels to me. "Thank you. They really hurt. I never should have bought them. My roommate said interviews in the city are always in heels."
After we were seated in the restaurant, her anxiety level was dropping. Conversation revealed she was a field hockey player and surprised I knew about the game. "My wife played for Syracuse, back when it wasn't a recognized sport."
The waiter came for a drink order and I asked, "What would you like?"
"You said I couldn't have that gin. What about a margarita?" Her eyes actually teased me. This was progress.
"Terrible idea," but I told the waiter, "The lady will have your special margarita, and I will have scotch on the rocks."
It didn't take long for Karen to find more conversation with me, providing lots of useful background. I thought about all the young college graduates who did poor interviews but could be great employees. She was the older daughter of a couple on an upstate dairy farm that was barely making ends meet. She needed the job because her younger sister was dyslexic and enrolled in an expensive program that was helping a lot.
Halfway through dinner, I was thinking about giving her the job and wondered how much trouble I would be in with HR. A plateful of food had disappeared in a hurry, and my dinner companion was looking one hundred percent better.
Until I asked her where she was staying the night. The tense, fearful look was back. "Gosh, I know this sounds dumb, but I thought I could stay with my uncle. I didn't check and it turns out he is away and there is no housekey available here. I talked to him on the phone and he said I could break in if I wanted."
She looked up at me, "Doesn't that sound bad? What if a neighbor calls the cops?"
I shook my head. "Very bad."
"Do you think there is a hostel I could find at this hour?"
"I'm sorry miss, but I think you are stuck with the extra bedroom in Jeff's house."
She stared at me, unbelieving. "You are not kidding around?"
I shook my head and stood to pay the bill. "Let's go. It is about a fifteen minute drive."
When we got to my car, I said, "You need to call your Mom, don't you?"
"Yes, but my phone died."
"This should work while we drive. Buckle up and make the call. I guess you better not say you are sleeping at your new boss's house. What about 'a friend at the office' is putting you up?"
Karen's spunk surfaced. "If this is a joke, I am going to hit you!"
By the time we got to my house, Mom was satisfied that life in the big city was going to be ok, and had been promised a weekend visit as soon as possible.
Jean and I live in a restored Craftsman style home on the edge of town. Aged shingles and the whole bit. After we got in the house, I said, "We need to call my wife. She is at a conference but probably free by now. I'll tell her what's happened, but you should introduce yourself."
I pointed to the sofa and sat next to her. Jean answered on the first ring, "Hi there."
"Hi yourself. I am sitting next to a very attractive young woman who is going to be my new PA. Just got hired over dinner and is a bit nervous. Here she is."
"Hello. He is right, I am super nervous. My name is Karen Phillips. I thought I flubbed the interview but he says I am hired anyway. I would like to meet you if that is possible."
She hurriedly added, "Oh, this is really stupid. I was supposed to stay at my uncle's, but he is away and the house is locked. The bartender at the office said I was safe with your husband. He says I have to call him Jeff."
From the kitchen doorway, I held out chocolate and vanilla ice cream containers. She pointed to chocolate and I smiled.
When I came back with the dishes, they were still talking and Karen was relaxed into the down cushion.
I reached for the phone. Jean said, "She sounds very nice. You are behaving?"
I growled and said, "You are still going to be home for dinner tomorrow? If you don't mind, Karen and I will fix dinner and she will stay another night. You are needed for a shopping trip to buy work clothes. What she has on is new and awful."
"Put the phone on speaker."
"Karen, he can be so nasty at times. Punch him for me. We will find several outfits and he will pay as punishment for being rude. The accountant will be told it is a signing bonus. You are welcome to stay as long as it takes to find a place of your own. Bye now." Click.
She gave me a long look and stood up. "I can smell myself. Is there a shower? And something better to wear than this outfit you don't like?"
I took the ice cream to the freezer and led her down the hall to our bedroom. The Football jersey was suitably long, and when I held up underwear from Jean's drawer, she grabbed them and swatted at me. I pointed to the bathroom door.
I was watching the news when she brought back the ice cream. The hair had been shampooed and needed work. I took the brush from her hand and arranged the body between my knees. She shivered and I handed over the sofa blanket.
After a few minutes, she mumbled, "I don't understand how the rejected applicant gets treated this way?"
"My wife and I take in strays all the time." Finishing the hair, I arranged her across my lap, but the eyes were already closed, so she got a ride to the extra bedroom and a quick tucking in.
In the morning, I was starting eggs when she appeared in the kitchen doorway. The football jersey looked great. "The Boss is not supposed to cook for the PA."
I pointed to juice and coffee. "Put a muffin in for me and whatever you would like for yourself. Scrambled eggs ok? Soft or hard?"
"Yes. Soft, please.
The eggs were great, even if I did make them myself. We sat on adjoining stools and she seemed a lot more relaxed than yesterday.
"I have to protect your virtue, so am going to the office on time, but will bring stuff home at lunch for you to read. Don't worry about going into work until tomorrow. I have to explain my foolish decision to the HR people and Sandra, the woman you are replacing, who is going on maternity leave and moving to California with her husband."
"Protecting the virtue of your foolish hire? The girl who couldn't get one correct word out of her mouth yesterday?"
"Stage fright. Very common, especially among recent college graduates applying for PA positions."
She climbed into my lap. "If I have to put up with teasing all the time, there has to be an immediate raise."
"You don't even know what your salary is, and you are asking for a raise?"
My phone chimed and I saw it was Jean. "Good morning."
"I'm tired of this darned conference. Ok if I come home now? You are not still in bed with her?"
"He fixed me eggs for breakfast and said he has to protect my virtue. I am sitting in his lap."
"He is good at protection, at least until the second date. After that, hang on to your underwear. I will see you for lunch and we can go shopping."
"He is being awfully nice. Is it ok if I give him a kiss as he goes to work?"
"Yes. Tell him it is a down payment on the better stress relief he gets tonight. Bye." Click.
Her lips were soft and demanding. After more contact time than I deserved, she said, "Your wife sounds hot. I will find a movie to go to so there is private time this evening."
"You are pretty hot yourself, but thank you for that. I'll skip lunch and see you both for dinner."
At the office, Sandra stared at me accusingly. "A little bird tells me you kidnapped her from the bar downstairs?"
"It's much worse than that. Close the door and come sit in my lap."
She was stiff. "I am a pregnant and happily married woman. What is this lap business?"
"I told Karen I had to protect her virtue when I left for work this morning."
"You are hitting on every woman in sight. What has happened?"
"I just realized the clock is ticking, and my skirt chasing days may be ending."
She picked up my phone and clicked on Jean's number. "He has me in his lap and says he is worried his skirt chasing days are over."
"He is acting up because you are leaving."
Sandra leaned down and kissed me gently. "You know, he has never hit on me the whole time. With all the stories about Bosses and PA's, I used to worry."
