We were cuddling in the afterglow. Her husband would not be home for hours and I had a good excuse at work, there was no hurry. Her head was on my shoulder, my hand was on her breast. The covers had been kicked off the bed and we were lying, sweating and panting, on a sheet that was soaked with sweat and drool and cum and puddles of Connie's special sauce.
"You know," she said, "There're a lot of women in this town who could use somebody like you."
"Sad, isn't it?" I said.
"Yeah, actually," Connie said. "Marriage, I hate to say it, is a farce."
I didn't say anything.
"I could set you up," she said.
I pulled my arm back and looked at her. "Set me up?"
"Yeah," she said. "You could spread a little joy around this town."
"Uh huh," I said. "Sure."
"I bet we could even make a little money," she said.
"I don't think so," I said.
"You're unusually good in bed, you know," she said.
"I just do what I do."
"Yeah well you do it pretty fucking good."
"I'm glad you like it," I said, obviously flattered. She was quiet for a while.
"I know somebody," Connie said.
"Sure," I said, "Everybody knows somebody."
"No, I mean I think I know who could be our first customer."
"Our?"
"Oh yeah, I'm your agent. Didn't I tell you?"
"No, I didn't know," I said.
"I will find people, make the introductions, collect the money. All you do is show up and make them happy."
I was laughing. "Whatever. Have fun."
Connie was laughing too. "You think I'm joking."
"Listen, Connie, I know you are crazy enough to do something like this. And it sounds like fun to fantasize about but I'm no gigolo. It just isn't my thing."
"Too bad," she said. "I'll tell you what, I can introduce you and you only do it if you like them."
I knew she was going to follow through on it. That's how she is, she gets an idea and won't let go. What ya gonna do?
Connie didn't have a jealous bone in her body. I don't know how Jeremy had stayed married to her; she seemed to have no limits, and he must have had some idea something was going on. She was beautiful and funny and foul-mouthed and brash, and I don't want to forget: sexy. Her libido went up to eleven. She and I had been seeing each other for a couple of years but there was no pretense that I was the only one. Like the time she came to my house and blew my friend while I was sitting there. And then while he was recovering she blew me. She also knew all the wives in town and she had an idea. She had broken out of the marriage trap and now she wanted to free the others.
Later that week, Thursday night, I stopped by the Conquistador for a drink. This is a neighborhood dump, kind of hard to describe, it's at the end of a strip mall, so you don't see it from the street. You drive to the end and park and there's an entrance to the bar on the left. This is the kind of neighborhood where people would complain if you put in an all-out rowdy nightclub, but even the bluenoses of the town would stop into the Conquistador after work or in the evening. There were plush barstools, darts in the back, one pool table, and a kind of digital jukebox that never played what you asked for; it was loud and obnoxious and there was no possibility that any of the customers would ever get the mistaken idea that the place had any class. The jukebox played mostly country music and hip-hop and classic rock. People would get up and dance to the music sometimes; it was an old-fashioned neighborhood place.
I was sitting at the bar talking to a lady who lives on the block behind my house. She had been hearing some sounds and wondered if there might be a coyote around. Also she needed a good mechanic and was asking people for ideas. At one point in the evening I noticed Connie coming in, she sort of flitted through the lights, smiled at me and waved, and kept moving. Naturally we are cool when we run into each other in public. The place was pretty crowded.
I did know a good mechanic and wrote down the name of his place. There was a little argument starting to boil over at the end of the bar, a husband and wife; he'd been drinking a lot and was turning into an asshole, and pretty soon somebody was going to have to step in. It wouldn't be me, I was halfway across the room, but I kept one eye on them in case shit started flying.
Jake the bartender was watching them, too, but there was not yet a need for intervention. He was working the bar, bullshitting with people, keeping the liquor flowing. He came over to me and said, "Hey, Doc, Connie down there says she's got somebody she wants you to meet." I looked toward the back of the room where Connie was leaning over the bar, waving her hand to get my attention. There was a cluster of people nearby but Connie seemed to be sitting with a woman I had not seen before. Your standard forty-something housewife, nicely put together, slender and modestly dressed. I made my see-ya's to present company and moseyed to the back end of the bar. I had a good guess what this was going to be about.
"Doc, meet Beth. Beth, The Doctah, they call him Doc," Connie said in her unhesitant way. I reached out to shake hands with Beth but she somehow got an arm around my neck and pulled me in for a neighborly kind of cheek-to-cheek hug.
"Good to meet you," Beth said.
"Same," I said. "Hey Connie, how ya been?" Pretending I hadn't seen her for a while, the usual song and dance.
We yickyacked for a few and then Connie said, "I was telling Beth about you."
"Something good, I hope," I joked.
"Oh yes," Beth said. "Very good."
Connie said, "Beth is bored, and maybe you can help her out. She ain't gettin' no lovin', you know what I mean?"
"I see," I said. I felt awkward as hell but both the women were smiling cheerfully at me.
Connie: "So I was telling her about you, and suggested maybe you two could have a date or something."
"I see," I said. Beth had glasses, a barrette in her hair. I could see she was a little nervous but she also looked like a woman who had made her mind up, she'd had enough of the boredom of a husband ignoring her, and if he wasn't going to treat her right she'd find somebody who would. "A date, huh? Well, Beth, I've only just met you, like two minutes ago. Would you want to go on a date with me?"
Beth didn't hesitate. "Oh, yes," she said.
"Where would you like to go?"
"Why don't you stop by my place for coffee?" she said, sweetly, as if we would actually be having coffee.
"Sure," I said.
"Can you come by tomorrow?"
"Well I'll have to make an excuse at work but I think I can do that," I said.
"Okay, how about ten? We'll try to get you back to work after lunch. The kids won't be home till two thirty."
Connie was beaming, sipping a rosΓ©. "This is great," she said. "It makes me happy." She and Beth clinked glasses. Beth had a piece of paper in her purse that had her address on it, some junk mail, and she said, "Here's my address. It's off of Western, back by where the Denny's used to be."
"Sure, I know that neighborhood," I said. "I'll be by about ten tomorrow." We chatted for a few minutes and I made my excuses. This time Beth drew me in for a hug and also gave me a little kiss, nothing spectacular but I felt her lips open and a touch of tongue. I gave Connie a regular neighborhood hug and skadoodled out of there.
I bustled around at work, getting a little bit ahead so I could disappear for a while, and then about a quarter to ten I slipped out. They don't really care if we come and go during the day, and I do a good job. I think everybody has things they do, a couple of guys work out during work hours, somebody picks kids up from school, nobody asks and it's fine. I knew Beth's address, in fact it seemed to me I had worked on that house in my contractor days, probably before she lived there. I did not remember any wife. I mean, I remembered lots of wives, just not at that house.
Beth actually had coffee brewing when I got there. The house was a lot nicer than I remembered, with thick carpeting and artwork in the living room and up and down the hall. "What does your husband do?" I asked her, as she poured me a cup.
"He works," she said. "That's all. Just works. Gets up in the morning and goes to work, comes home and makes some calls, goes to sleep and goes back to work."
"I see."
"It doesn't matter what kind of work he does, he's in an office I think. He's married to his work."
"Yes, I'm getting the picture," I said. "And his wife ends up married to no one."
"Bingo," she said. "I'm done. I mean, I love him, we've got it good here, but I am not the type that sits around feeling sorry for myself."
"I see. You sound like somebody who needs a little attention."
She looked at me and my dick got hard, just like that. "Why, yes," she said. "That's what I was thinking."
"It was nice of Connie to introduce us," I said.
"Yeah, she's a doll."
Beth stood on tiptoes and kissed me. It was very hot but not very personal. Pure passion. "Let me show you the bedroom," she said. I did not mention that I had been in the house years earlier. I had not had a sip of coffee.
As we walked to the bedroom, I asked, "So, how do you know Connie?"
"I am not sure," Beth said. "Everybody knows Connie, don't they?" We laughed. "No, I think I met her at the Garden Center. We were both looking at perennials. I remember, at first I thought she was flirting with me, which seemed strange. But that's just how she is, you know. And how do you know her?"
"Oh we have been friends forever," I said. "She was friends with my wife, back in the day."