"I hear everything you're saying," Alice said, trying to keep the exasperation from her voice as she set the tines of her fork down next to the pasta on her half full plate. "But if this isn't the right time, then there's never going to be one." This wasn't the first time she'd had this argument with her wife, but with any luck it might be the last. Please God let it be the last, she prayed silently.
"Listen," Helen countered, noticing she'd let her voice get a little loud for such a public place and lowering it slightly, "I know that we're not getting any younger. I'm turning 32 soon--" The restaurant was full and with the crowd came a dull roar of conversation, but even so, Helen always worried that someone else might hear their business. Alice didn't care if the whole world knew though, so long as they finally found some middle ground.
"I'm only 27," Alice countered, "This isn't about my biological clock--"
"No," Helen started again, interrupting her partner. "This is about bringing life into the world, and before we do that, we need to be absolutely sure that we can provide the kind of life for them that they deserve."
"And how do we do that?" Alice asked. "What would we have a year from now that we don't already have today."
"Well, the forty thousand for in vitro to start," Helen said, quickly enough to betray how often this line had killed this conversation in the past. "You know that our health insurance isn't even going to put a dent in those bills, honey." Lately every time they had this conversation it came down to this sticking point, but this time Alice had an answer. They both made good money, but if they wanted to keep saving up for a condo, then they wouldn't be able to afford a baby until she was like forty.
"I was thinking maybe we could go for a cheaper option," Alice said, after a moment of delay. She could see the skepticism radiating off her wife, but as soon as Helen opened her mouth to give her another sarcastic comment, she talked over her. "We could find a guy and just do it the old-fashioned way."
"We could what?" Helen asked, shifting from skeptical to hostile almost instantly, "With a man?"
"Well, I'm not asking you to fuck him," Alice sighed. She could tell that she'd already lost this fight as she watched Helen's face turn to stone.
"Who did you have in mind," Helen asked finally after fuming for a few seconds.
"Well, since I want our baby to look like you as much as me..." Alice said, stalling for time, "I was thinking..."
"I'm not going to like your answer, am I?" Helen asked, seeing through the delay.
"I thought that Matthias would be a good--" Alice started.
"Matt? Are you serious?" she said, momentarily loud enough that people at other tables turned to see what they were talking about before returning to their own conversations.
"Listen, I know that you don't like him but--" Alice tried to rebut her partner.
"I don't like him?" she asked skeptically. "That's a hell of understatement. The man is a snake."
"You can't prove that, and neither can I." Alice said. "You're being unfair. You don't like him because he asked you out that one time, but he's always been very nice to me."
"Ask me out?" Helen sputtered, "The man wouldn't take no for an answer until we kissed in front of him just to stop him from hounding me, don't you remember?"
"I remember how much I loved kissing you," Alice said, smiling as she reached out her hand to hold her partner's in an attempt to smooth over the mood. "He just checks all the boxes. He's Greek, tall, handsome, smart, and most of all fertile. Everyone knows how he knocked up poor Elizabeth and had to pay for that abortion and--"
"Can we talk about this later?" Helen asked, "I'd rather talk about anything besides letting that scumbag knock up my beautiful partner." After that she turned her attention back to her food until the tension started to wane. The conversation the rest of the night was still very cool but focused on any topic but this one. It saddened Alice that they fought about this so much, because really, it was the only thing they fought about, but they did it so often that sometimes it seemed inescapable.
They went to bed that night without much talking, and though Alice tried to hold Helen, she turned away making it clear she still needed more time to brood. Alice tried to be understanding about it. She was the quiet brooding type often enough herself, but this was an issue they had to solve together. Afterall, children weren't a choice in Alice's mind. They were something she'd wanted since she was very young - even before she'd known she was a lesbian, and it wasn't something she could give up just because things weren't quite right.
Alice decided to let the topic rest for a while and focused on work for the next few weeks until surprisingly Helen brought up the topic one day out of the blue while they were out for a walk.
"So I talked to Matt," she said out of the blue, letting the statement just hang there while Alice looked at her stunned.
"You did?" Alice asked, suddenly exasperated. "What? Why would you do that?"
"Because if he was going to be the father of our children, I had to work some things out with him." Helen answered cryptically.
"Oh yeah, and what did he say?" Alice asked, almost afraid of the answer, even as her heart was singing with joy at the thrill of it all.
"He said a lot of things," Helen answered, "But all that matters is that I told him that if he did anything to hurt you I would fucking kill him, and I'm pretty sure he believed me."
"Darling," Alice sighed, "You're going to scare him off."
"I doubt it," Helen responded, smiling, "Because he said he'd do it."
"He did?" Alice asked, not quite believing what she was hearing.
"He did," Helen agreed, stopping to hug her partner tightly. "But more importantly he agreed to all my conditions."
"Conditions?" Alice asked.
"Shhhhh," Helen responded, "All that can wait. Don't ruin the moment. We're going to be parents!" Alice smiled, tearing up as she hugged Helen even tighter. She was right. The details could wait. This moment was too important to ruin. Instead, they just stood there like idiots in the park, hugging each other for dear life.
After that things started to move quickly. So quickly that Alice's head spun whenever she thought about it. They had sit downs with the lawyers to make sure that everyone understood their rights. They met with doctors to get checked out. And of course, they met with Matthias to discuss the plan. For his part he'd been very reasonable and signed all the paperwork renouncing his parental rights without a hiccup. His only demand was that to make sure the baby was healthy he wanted Alice to take prenatal vitamins for a month before she started trying. She thought that this request was very reasonable and neither her nor Helen had any issues with it, until one day a box showed up with the pills.
The pills were name brand and unopened, so they were nothing out of the ordinary. What was unusual though was that in addition to the bottle for her he'd also included a bottle of normal multivitamins labeled "for Helen." A note included in the box said that he wanted to make sure she didn't feel left out so he got each of them some vitamins to make sure they were as healthy as possible.