The Dirty Old Man

Most Friday nights I'm at the local bar playing pool. Last Friday night was no exception. Most nights, the place is full of old people. Well yes, I'm old too but that doesn't mean I like hanging out with them. Give me a younger group, it keeps me on my toes, and they are a lot more fun. Friday and Saturday nights, the younger set, show up to play pool and so do I. I'm not great at pool anymore but I win my share and never make it easy to beat me. I make them work for it. The usual group was there and I knew all of them, except for one young lady that was up from Houston, visiting her sister.

I was in rare form and won the first three games I played. Donny had his quarters up next and walked over to the table to rack. "Hey old man, you're winning too much tonight, so I ain't going easy on you like I usually do."

I chuckled and told him. "Rack them and we'll see."

I broke and ran them all but one ball and the eight. Donny made two and missed. Normally, I would have played around a little and let the game end a lot closer, but the tone of his voice when he made that earlier comment got to me for some reason and I sank the last two balls. I turned to Donny and said softly, "Next."

He frowned for a moment and then chuckled, "Ok, so you're bad tonight. My sister in law is up next and I think you're in for a surprise." The tall redheaded girl that I didn't know, walked over to the table and squatted down to put her quarters in. Donny grinned and said, "This is Mary, and she's the best pool player I've ever seen."

I grinned at Donny and looked down into the bluest eyes I had ever seen in my life. "Glad to meet you Mary." She just nodded at me with a thin smile and went about racking the balls. I watched her as she did and knew that she was a good player.

I would like to say I won but I didn't. It was down to the last two balls and I lost with one on the table. To say that Mary distracted me is an understatement. I thanked her and put my quarters on the table. There were three people ahead of me.

As I walked toward the bar, I heard Mary say, "Good game."

I grinned at her and said, "I'll be back."

She looked at me for a second and for the first time, smiled. "I think you will be." She said and turned to break the rack.

I hung around up at the bar until it was my turn to play. I was playing Mary again. The one good thing about losing that first game was that I got time to study Mary's style of play and her body. Man, if I were twenty years younger, I'd be all over that in a country minute. Just watching her ass in those tight jeans as she bent over to make a shot had my heart rate up. The little tank top she had on wasn't filled out much but her nipples were long and hard most of the time. Hey, more than a mouthful is a waste as far as I'm concerned. Her face came off an angel, broad forehead, narrow chin, and a pouty little mouth. Man, I had it bad to be such a dirty old man.

I racked the balls and stood back while she broke. I had made up my mind to take it slow and easy and play my best, if I got the chance. She'd already run the table once. She broke and ran three balls. I took a deep breath and went to work; this wasn't to be a fun game as far as I was concerned. Something about this young lady brought out the competitiveness in me. I made a good run at it and left one ball and the eight ball. My last ball was blocking the hole nearest the eight.

Mary looked over at me and grinned as she lined up her first shot. "You're serious, now." Was all she said as she ran them all and missed on the eight ball, dropping my blocking ball. When she did, she shook her head and said, "I should have known better than that. Good game." And then she walked over to her table and sat down.

I didn't miss, I nailed it dead center and drew the cue ball back to the middle of the table. I saw her grin out of the corner of my eye.

I played three games, winning two and scratching on the eight in the last one to lose. I went back up to the bar and sat down. A moment later, Mary appeared at my shoulder and ordered a beer. As she waited, she looked over at me and smiled. "You play a pretty mean stick when you want to."

I chuckled and replied, "Not nearly as mean as I used to. I don't play seriously enough to keep in shape anymore. I just play for the fun and the company, now."

Her beer arrived and I paid for it. She smiled again and said, "Thanks, I'm a little lean this week and all donations are appreciated." I nodded as she turned to go back to her table. She paused a second and asked, "Do you want to join me at the table?"

"Ah, you don't need a dirty old man like me hanging around." I said with a chuckle. "I'd scare off the younger guys; they'd think I was your daddy or something."

She grinned and said, "Oh, come on, I think I'd enjoy your company. God knows you'd at least be able to carry on a conversation in words of more than four letters. Most of these nitwits in here can't."

I chuckled and shook my head, "Oh, so you have noticed the local education system around here." I paused a second and added, "Ok, I'll join you but you're not doing your reputation any good hanging around me."

She laughed and replied; "I could probably say the same thing about you hanging around with me. Come on, we'll ruin each others reputations at the same time."

I chuckled and followed her over to the table.

There were three other guys at the table, along with Mary's sister, Carla, and her brother in law, Donny. The guys weren't real happy when Mary made them shift around and gave me the chair next to her. They were cut off from her with me on one side and her sister on the other.

We had only been sitting there for a few minutes when it was Mary's turn to play pool again. She looked over at Donny and told him to play for her; she would rather talk to me. He started to protest but she gave him a stare and he got up to go play pool.

This made her sister laugh and say, "Come on Mary, don't scare the boy like that. I'll have to rock him to sleep to keep him from having nightmares."

Mary grinned and replied, "You know I'd never hurt him, but he hasn't figured it out yet. Anyway, it's so much fun teasing him."

"How come you scare him?" I asked. "You're a redhead but that's not grounds to be scared, especially since you're such a good looking young lady."

Mary's sister grinned and replied, "She's a second degree black belt among other things. Donny made the mistake of getting in my face one time with Mary around. He hasn't done it since and after he had to replace the door Mary nailed instead of him, he's been afraid of her."

I nodded and then grinned at Mary. "Redheaded, cute, a black belt, and one hell of a good pool player. You're talents are really starting to impress me."

She grinned back at me and leaned over to whisper, "You forgot to mention what a cute ass I have. I know you noticed because you stared at it every time I bent to make a shot."

I nodded and said, "Yes there is that too. I apologize for staring, not because I was looking but because I was so obvious about it. I'll have to work on that."

She grinned and winked at me. "You're such a dirty old man and I love it. We're going to get along great." Changing subjects, she asked, "Do you dance?"

"I've been known to, if the song is slow and the lady willing." I replied. "If I don't get fancy, I can keep from stepping on your feet."

She laughed and asked, "Do you want to get out of here and go someplace where we can dance?"

I chuckled and asked back, "We ain't left yet?"

She laughed and stood up. Looking down at her sister, she said, "Don't wait up for me sis, I've got my key if I need it." She picked up her beer bottle and downed the last couple of inches of beer. As she sat it down, she told her sister, "Oh, and by the way, when you rock him to sleep tonight, nurse him a little and then tell him I told you to."

Her sister laughed and shook her head. "You are bad but I love you anyway." She glanced over at me standing there behind her sister and added, "You just be careful, that old man may look like a big teddy bear but I've heard he can bite if he gets the opportunity."

"Hey." I said with a grin. "I don't bite, nibble yes, but not bite. Well, not hard anyway."

Mary laughed and turned to take my arm. "Come on, teddy bear, I can think of several ways to muzzle you if I need to."

"I just bet you could too." I replied with a laugh as we headed for the door.

"You want to ride with me or the other way around." I asked as we got outside.

She grinned and replied, "Since I don't know where I am, much less where we're going, you drive. Uh, I just thought of something, there is a club around here with a band or something, we can dance to isn't there?"

I chuckled and nodded as I steered her toward my old Ramcharger. "Yeah, on Friday night there are several. Since two of them are a ways out the main highway and not a safe place to be with the state cops around, they're out. Anyway, they cater to the kiddy crowd and have more idiots per square foot than a government office." She laughed at that. "There's another one over on the other side of the loop but I barred myself from there. I don't like the owner, a total bitch when she's drinking, which is most of the time. That leaves the lake club." We arrived at my truck and I opened the door for her.

She paused and looked up and down the side of the Ramcharger and then looked inside. "This old beast looks good, either you've take very good care of it or did one hell of a job restoring it." She said as she climbed up and sat on the bucket seat.

"A little of both, actually." I replied as I shut the door.

When I got in on the drivers side, she said, "These seats are comfortable but I'll have to sit all the way over here. That won't be any fun; I won't be able to tease you on the drive over to the other club."

I chuckled and started the truck up as I said, "Use your imagination, you can think of something, I know you can."

She laughed and nodded. "Oh yeah, my mind can come up with all sorts of stuff, but how much time and privacy do we have between here and where we're going?"

I laughed. "As much as we need, I have a full tank of gas and I know every back road in this county."

"If we had some beer and ice, we could just forget the dancing and take a ride. The dancing was just an excuse to get out of there and be alone with you." She said with a grin. "The glares those three guys were giving you were starting to get on my nerves. Like they really thought they had a chance at me, I don't date little boys." She grinned and added, "I much prefer the company of a good looking dirty old man; they are always fun and adventurous."

I looked over at her and grinned, a wolfish smile. "Be careful, I might have lied about biting."

She laughed and replied, "Hell, I bite back and I wasn't kidding about muzzling you. I ain't scared."

"In that case, I have beer and an ice chest at the house and the corner store has ice. I'm game if you are." I said as I pulled forward and turned out of the parking lot, headed toward my house.

Thirty minutes or so later, we were headed out from the store with a couple of six packs on ice behind the seat. Mary was searching the radio waves for a good station as I asked, "Where to?"

She laughed and replied, "Hey, I'm new here and totally lost, so just drive us somewhere we can relax and drink a few beers without drawing a crowd or the cops."

"I know just the place." I said with a grin. "A friend of mine has an old camp over on the lake. There's nothing there but a boathouse and five acres of land. I have a key to the gate because I keep my boat there most of the year and the nearest neighbor is a mile away, so we can relax to our hearts content."

"Sounds good to me." She replied as she found a country station to her liking and then set back in her seat. "Shall I play bartender and open us a couple of beers?" She asked.

"Sure, we're safe enough around here; the cops are pretty cool about not messing with the locals. Anyway, all of them know this old truck and know that I don't get to drunk to often." I told her.

She chuckled as she moved between the seats and opened the ice chest. "I guess there's a lot to be said for living in a small town. Everyone knows you and you know everybody." She said and then sighed. "I'm going to find out, one way or the other. The company I work or rather worked for, folded last week, so I'm officially unemployed. I'm tired of Houston and all of the shit that goes on there. My sister is trying to talk me into moving up here but I'm not real sure about it. I'm up here this weekend to see the place for myself." She paused to hand me an open beer and then she closed the chest and moved back to her seat. She sat on the side of it facing me as she took a swallow from her bottle.

I grinned at her and asked, "Well, how do you like it so far?"

"I wasn't all that impressed." She replied.

"Hmmm, that's past tense. Was there something that changed your mind?" I asked as I slowed the truck, pulled into a driveway, and stopped at a gate. I put it in park, looked over at her, and grinned as I said, "You think about it while I open the gate. Pull the truck through when I do, will you. I can lock it back and we'll be all safe and snug."

She chuckled and moved over under the wheel as I got out. "Are you sure you want me driving this monster? My car is about a third this size, and has a motor about the size of a breadbox." I just grinned at her and nodded as I went to get the gate.

She pulled it down into gear and pressed the gas pedal. That's when she found out that it definitely wasn't her little car. She threw rocks and gravel out across the road behind her and the Ramcharger jumped forward through the gate. I heard her foot come up off the gas and then the truck nosed forward and slid to a stop as she hit the brakes. I could hear her cussing and then laughing as I went to shut the gate.

When I opened the door of the truck on the passenger's side and got in, she looked at me and asked, "Are you crazy? Get your ass over here and drive this thing; I'll kill us for sure. I damn near, ran over you just getting it through the gate."

"You'll be alright, just step on it a little lighter. There's a hell of a lot bigger breadbox under the hood of this thing than you're used to." I said with a chuckle.

"No shit!" She said and then laughed. "Ok, I'll try it again but I hope you have good insurance." She put it in gear and eased down on the gas. This time, it moved forward smoothly and she chuckled and held onto the wheel with both hands.

"Just follow the road; it's a little crooked in places, so watch your speed. There's only one road and it goes down to the boathouse on the lake so you can't get lost. There's a picnic table and fire pit before you get there. Just stop anywhere around there." I said as I leaned back and relaxed in the seat. "Oh yeah, there's a creek to ford, so stay to the right and don't slow down, we'll end up stuck if you do."

"What!" she said loudly and sat up straighter looking out the windshield intently. "You need to be doing this. I've never driven anything this big and I've never driven anything off the asphalt. I don't know anything about crossing a creek."

"Then, it's about time, you learned." I said softly as we came to a sudden steep downhill section. "No gas and light on the brake until we are nearly to the bottom." I said in the same soft voice. "Stay in the middle here but you'll need to move over to the right when I tell you to."

"Oh shit." She whispered softly but kept her attention on the dirt road. "There's the creek."

I waited until the right place and said, "Ok, follow the tracks to the right, and get off the brake. Get ready to hit the gas. Mash it firmly, don't stomp it, when I tell you too." We rolled on toward the wide flat water of the creek. About five feet from the water I said, "Gas it!"

She did and we jumped forward, hitting the water, a bright spray flying to each side of the truck. She gasped loudly and then she was laughing. We were across and I said, "Ease off the gas and steer to the center of the road, you made it with no problems at all. I told you it would be alright and you did a great job."

At the top of the bank, the road leveled off and then opened out into a wide flat area. There was a picnic table sitting under a large oak tree about a hundred yard in front of us. Mary took a deep breath and blew it out noisily, "I made it." She whispered and then chuckled. "Damn, that was fun." She looked over at me with a broad grin. "Let's go do it again."

I laughed and shook my head. "Pull up to the left of the table. Park there but leave the engine and lights on until I go get the lantern out of the boat house." I told her as I pulled a flashlight out from behind the driver's seat.

"Oh come on, let's do it again." She chided as she pulled to a stop.

I laughed and replied, "You can drive when we get ready to leave; how about that? I don't want us to tear that crossing up to much or we might really get stuck."

"Spoil sport!" She said with a frown, but then she grinned and added, "Ok, I understand. If we get stuck in the creek, then we're really stuck here. I can wait." She laughed, put the truck in park, leaned over, put her arm around my neck, and kissed me softly on the cheek. "Thanks, that was fun."

I turned my head to tell her that she was welcome, but never got that far as she planted a barn burner of a kiss right on my lips. I was so surprised that I didn't even kiss her back for a second or two. Then, I was trying to give as good as I was getting. I must have been doing something right, because after a few minutes, she gave a little shuddery moan and pulled back from me.

She looked at me for a moment and then licked her lips. "Holy shit!" She whispered. "Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?"

I grinned at her and whispered, "It takes two to kiss like that."

She chuckled and nodded. "Ain't that the truth?" She blew out another breath and added, "Go get that lantern before I kiss you again and get myself in trouble."

"Uh huh." Was my witty reply, as I got out of the truck, well aware of the hard on in the front of my jeans.

By the time I had the lantern lit and hung from a post near the table, I was once again in the safe mode as far as my manhood was concerned. My mind, now there was a whole other story. Scenes of things that I wanted to do to Mary were chasing each other around in living color. My manhood would give little twitches from time to time, which made me mentally push the scene in progress away, only to have it replaced with another of equal glory. Boy was I in trouble, alone in the woods with a beautiful woman and horny as hell from just one kiss.

I heard the engine on the truck die and then the headlights went out. With a deep breath or two, I shook my head to clear it and went to get the ice chest. When I opened the passenger door, Mary was still sitting behind the wheel. Her hands were folded at the top of the wheel and she had her forehead resting on them. "Are you alright?" I asked as I folded the passenger seat forward.

She chuckled and slowly raised her head to look at me. "Oh yeah, I'm just peachy keen, now that I've got my toes uncurled from the floor, but my mind is being a very bad girl." She said softly.

I looked at her and let a grin slowly spread across my face. "Good! I'm glad it's not just me that has a dirty mind." I said slowly.

She laughed and replied, "Oh brother, are we in trouble or what. Two dirty minded people, alone in the woods with beer. How could there be more of a problem?"

She opened the door to get out, about the time I said, "How about making that two very horny people and we have a full moon tonight."