The Darside of Amanda

Editor's note: this fictional work contains scenes of completely fictional mind control, rough, reluctant, dubiously consensual, consensually non-consensual (CNC), or non-consensual sex or scenarios.

John's phone jolted him back to consciousness. He rolled over, grabbed it from the night stand next to the bed and looked at it. He had been sleeping for over an hour. Amanda sat up in bed as he answered it. "This is John." He listened for almost a minute to the voice on the other end. "Sounds good man. Thanks Charlie. We'll be down in a bit to get it."

He laid the phone back on the nightstand as he rubbed his eyes. "Damn lady." He said chuckling. "You wore me out."

Amanda sat on the bed next to him, her knees pulled up to her chest, her head resting on them as she looked at John. She smiled. "Good. I want to keep you worn out." She didn't want to say it again. But she was ready to do whatever it took to keep John. She'd only known him for a few days. But she already sensed the connection they'd made in that short time.

John smiled back at her, stroking her back. "I'm sure you will. But I've got plans for you too. It's going to be fun exploring this "freak side" of yours. As you like to call it."

"I'm just afraid you're going to get tired of me."

John sat up and grabbed a fistful of her hair. Turning her head he kissed her hard. "I'm not going to get tired of you. Especially if you keep me worn out." He said smiling. "Now get dressed. We have to go get your car. Charlie's done with it."

"Did Charlie tell you how much the repairs were?" Amanda asked as they drove to the garage.

"Don't worry about it." John replied smiling, keeping his eyes on the road. "I told you already. It's all taken care of."

"I remember. I just feel like I owe you something. I know your friend isn't giving away his labor. And I know the parts weren't free."

"You don't owe me anything lady. Relax. I don't keep track of these things. If I decide to help a friend in need. Then that's all it is. Me helping them. No strings attached."

Amanda looked at him in disbelief. "You mean that. Don't you?"

John looked over at her briefly, then reached for her hand. "Yeah! I mean that." He said smiling.

"I'm not use to a man doing me a favor without expecting something in return."

John chuckled as he pulled into the auto repair shop's parking lot. "OK. If it makes you feel better, you can take me out for dinner this evening. I haven't had a good steak in a while."

Amanda's eyes lit up. "How about Johnny's Chophouse? I love their steaks."

"Perfect." John replied as he pulled into the parking spot directly in front of the garage office. "I love their steaks as well." He smiled at Amanda. "Plus, I'll get us a discount as well. The manager likes it when cops eat at her place."

"Then Johnny's it is this evening." Amanda replied returning his smile. "Anything else I can do to show you my appreciation for your kindness?" She asked teasing. They had just spent the morning making love. John had broken through barriers in her mind she'd never thought would be breached. She'd opened herself up to him in ways that had only happened with her ex. And she ended up losing him because of it. Without knowing it, John had created a longing within her that had laid dormant for years. That longing to give herself to a man who really understood her and was willing to work through her sexual hang-ups. She was going to do whatever it took to keep John. Her fear of losing him was now becoming stronger than her fear of being seen for who and what she was.

John eyed her body as she sat next to him. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a tight blouse. If he hadn't parked directly in front of the office, he would have reached over and grabbed her. She'd just satisfied him in ways he hadn't experienced in a long time. Yet, he found himself wanting her again. Just to touch her, feel her, taste her. "You want me to treat you like a slut, don't you?" The only way this was going to work was if they were both brutally honest with each other. He'd already come to realize her sexual teasing was on a much deeper level than the average woman.

Amanda was initially taken back by his question. But then quickly realized he was testing the waters to see just how deep they were. She felt her arousal and need for him deepen as she replied. "Yes. That's what I need. That's what I want. More than anything." She didn't try to hide the desperation in her voice.

John slammed the brakes on his desire for her. "Are we moving too fast? Are we nuts for..."

Amanda cut him off before he could finish. She grabbed his hand. "No! No! Don't think that." She pled with him. "You're the best thing that's happened to me," She paused. "Ever! We're not moving too fast for me. I can't think of anything I've ever wanted more than I want you."

John held her hand tight. "OK. So be it." He thought for a second. "It's Friday. Johnny's will be packed tonight. I'll pick you up at 4:00. We'll have an early dinner." He smiled at her. "Then I'll take you home and see how the evening progresses." He knew what she needed and wanted. He didn't know if he was ready for another committed relationship. And that's exactly where he saw this leading. "I've got a few errands to run. I'll get you at 4:00." He was about to tell her to dress in something slutty. But he stopped himself. She still had a career as a third grade school teacher, and he didn't want to compromise her career just to satisfy his own lustful cravings.

John followed her into the office, settled up with Charlie for the repairs to Amanda's car, then watched her drive out as Charlie stood next to him. "Wow! Gorgeous lady." Charlie complimented her. "I take it she's a friend?" He asked smiling at John.

John smiled as he turned and walked back to his truck. "You could call her that."

John sat at the bar, sucking on a Corona, reviewing the events of the last twenty-four hours in his head. He was at his favorite biker bar in the area. And since it was only noon, there were only a few people in the place. Most of them looked like tourists.

"So what's the problem you're working through this time?" Gina, the bartender asked as she wiped down the bar on either side of him. Gina was in her early 30s. She'd lived a rough life and had that look about her. She'd been tending bar at the place for almost five years and had come to know John well. She and John had shared a few nights together over the years. Nothing serious. Just raw, passionate, meaningless sex between two consenting adults. The first time they hooked up, John had brought her off so many times that Gina gave him the open invitation she'd be available anytime he needed it. An offer John took her up on several times. She always gave great head, and John always returned the favor. Theirs was a mutual FWB arrangement that neither wanted to be more than that. And of course, it didn't hurt Gina had a great pair of tits, and knew how to use them.

He just smiled at her. "That obvious?"

She leaned on the bar directly in front of him. "The only time you come here this time of day is when you're working through something up here." She pointed to her head. "So, who is she?" Gina asked with a smirk.

John chuckled. "You can be a real bitch at times?" He said softly so as not to draw the attention of the other folks in the place. He and Gina bantered back and forth often, and both enjoyed it.

Gina leaned forward so he could better see the valley between her breasts. She was wearing her standard low cut top. It always brought her bigger tips from the male patrons. "I'll be your bitch any time you want baby." She replied softly. "Tell me about her."

"School teacher from over at the elementary school. Nice lady. But she's got some serious hang-ups." John stopped himself, not wanting to divulge anymore information about Amanda. While he thought Gina might be a good sounding board to work through these things with, he didn't want to compromise Amanda in anyway. He trusted Gina. But... "Great lady. I'm just trying to figure out how to tackle her issues."

"Uh-oh!" Gina chimed in. "Sounds like one high maintenance bitch to me."

John laughed. "She's not. Just some unique needs. But I'll figure things out."

John saw a sadness come across Gina's face. "Does this mean I'm losing my fuck buddy?"

"For now. Sorry sexy." John was realizing Gina had feelings for him that she'd never let on about.

"That's ok baby. I'm glad for you." She was lying. Gina liked having John whenever he was in need of good roll in the sack. "You just let that bitch know that if she messes with you, I'll waste her."

John couldn't tell if this was more of their bantering, or she was serious. "You realize I'm a cop. Right?"

Gina leaned on the bar again. "I don't give a fuck if you're the President of the United States. She better not mess with my friend."

John reached across the bar and grabbed her arm. "Relax sexy. She's not going to mess with me. If anything, I'll be the one messing with her." He said with a smile.

Gina took his hand in hers. "Good for you baby. Mess with that bitch. You take that bitch and make her yours. Ride her hard and let her know who's in charge. And if she ever neglects you," She smiled. "You know where I live. As a matter of fact, if you're ever looking for a threesome, let me know. Haven't done one of those in a long time."

"Yeah! I know where you live." He wanted to return the teasing. "And I know how you like it." He took another long drink on his beer.

Gina laughed. "You fucker! You know how to push my buttons, don't you?"

John leaned forward, intentionally looking down her blouse. "I do. And the next time I do it, I'm going to push that button till your screaming my name." He spun off his stool and started walking out laughing.

Gina laughed as she yelled at him. "You'd like that wouldn't you? Me screaming your name."

"You can scream my name Gina." One of the local old guys at the end of the bar chimed in.

"Oh fuck off Frank. Go home to your wife and have her scream your name." Gina replied never taking her eyes off John as he walked out the door.

Frank just laughed. "She screams my name all the time. But it's just not the same."

'She needs to feel like she's being raped.' John thought to himself as he drove from the bar to the hardware store. 'I know it's a control issue. But it goes much deeper with her. She needs that feeling of being degraded and humiliated. This is definitely outside my wheelhouse. I guess I'm going to have to step-up my game. That will be a stretch for me. But then again, what a rush when she responded to that rough treatment. Damn, that was hot. Hearing her. Feeling her body respond. Knowing she wants it, needs it, craves it. Fuck yeah! You're going to step-up your game John-boy. This lady is worth it.'

'I do feel bad about Gina. We did have some good times together. A threesome might be fun. What the fuck am I thinking? Stay focused John. Stay focused.'

John pulled into Amanda's driveway just before 4:00. He hated being late for anything. He didn't get the chance to knock on the front door. Amanda opened it as he stepped on the front porch, as though she'd been waiting for him, which she had been.

John stood there staring at her. "Fuck!" Was all he said as he drank in the picture before him. Amanda was wearing a light blue sun dress that clung to her like a glove. The plunging neckline just added to the sensuality of the woman wearing it. The fact she was also wearing open toed sandals with 4" heels only added to that sensuality. John had always been a sucker for heels on a woman. He knew they were as impractical as you can get. But for John, they always gave a woman that look that screamed, "FUCK ME!"

Amanda twirled, knowing the affect she was having on John, and loving it. "Do you like?"

John just chuckled. "Again, dumb question. If I wasn't so hungry I'd rip it off you right here and take you where you stand."

Amanda moaned softly as that picture unfolded in her mind. "Ooohhh. Yes, please!" She almost sounded like she was begging.

John stepped up to her and wrapped his arms around her, his hands dropping to her ass. He lifted her and kissed her as Amanda threw her arms around his neck. Their tongues danced together as each felt their arousal growing. "Let's get some dinner before I change my mind." John panted.

"OK." Amanda was slightly flushed and panting. "I bought some dessert for after dinner."

"Screw that." John replied without hesitation. He already knew how he wanted the evening to unfold. And it wasn't sitting around sipping tea and eating crumpets. "You have any plans for tomorrow?"

"I don't have any plans for the whole weekend."

"Good. Tonight you come home with me, and you're staying there. Now let's get going." John grabbed her hand and held it as they walked to his truck. He opened the door for her and helped her in.

"Thank you, kind sir." Amanda smiled.

John walked around the truck and climbed in. "Let's be clear. In public, you're my lady. In private, you're going to be my slut. Is that clear?"

Amanda felt her arousal skyrocket. "Yes!" She gasped. "I don't want it any other way."

"I know." He said as he pulled out of her driveway. "I'm beginning to really understand your need."

"Does that scare you?" Amanda asked, terrified that he was going to walk away from her at some point.

John smiled again. He'd been doing that a lot since getting to know Amanda more intimately. "No. Nothing about you scares me. It's me I'm worried about."

The two rode in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. John pulled into the parking lot of Johnny's Chophouse, then helped Amanda out of his truck. The manager was standing at the hostess stand when they walked in. "Hey John!" Maggie greeted him smiling. "It's been awhile since you've visited."

"Hey Maggie. It has. But I came really hungry. Maggie, this is Amanda. Amanda, Maggie." The two ladies shook hands.

Maggie looked at the seating chart. "Give them the booth in the back corner." She said to the hostess. "You two enjoy your dinner. And don't stay away so long next time John." Maggie said smiling at John. Nothing had ever happened between them, Maggie being married. But she always enjoyed flirting with him whenever he did eat there.

Maggie's flirting with him had never been lost on John. But he'd never messed around with a married woman before, and he wasn't about to start with her. Although, she was an attractive woman, and he could see himself enjoying her on occasion. 'Nope! Not happening!' John said to himself as he walked back to the booth with Amanda.

They sat down and began looking over their menus as they waited for the server to bring them their drinks. "I thought you like your wine with dinner?" John asked her as they waited. Amanda had ordered just a glass of water.

"I do. But you've inspired me to lose a few pounds. That plus the fact I didn't like the way I looked in this dress. I want to drop a couple sizes."

"Well I think you look great. But if you want to get in better shape, I'm all for that. Just so you don't lose anything up top." He added with a smile.

Amanda didn't even feel herself blush. The banter between them was becoming natural. "I can't promise anything. But I'll do my best." She returned his smile. "I'm going to get a membership at the local fitness center."

"Don't waste your money. I've got everything you need in my garage; elliptical, treadmill, weights. And if I don't have what you're looking for, I'll get it."

Amanda smiled at him. "It sounds like you're trying to keep me close by."

"That obvious. Huh?"

The server brought their drinks, Amanda's glass of water and John's Corona. After placing their orders, they watched the server walk away. Amanda opened up. John had no intention of bringing up that night from almost 27 years ago. But Amanda discovered a freedom with him she'd never felt before.

"I don't know why my brain always goes back to that night. But even though I wish it didn't go back there, recalling that night brings me the most intense pleasure. I know that makes me sound like a freak." Amanda looked down in shame.

"Stop saying that!" John almost barked at her. Amanda was taken back by his reaction. As though he was reprimanding her. Which he was. "I don't want to hear you say that anymore! Understood?" Amanda just nodded her head. "I don't give a fuck what your ex thought of you. Or what he labeled you. His opinion no longer matters."

"It's so hard. I've lived with that mindset for so many years." Amanda was fearful she'd made him angry.

"I know." John replied with a softness. "We'll work on that." He stared at her for several seconds. The cop in him came to the surface again. "How many guys were there, that night? Do you remember what they looked like?"

"I think I've tried to block out the details over the years. But I think there were about 10 -- 12 of them." Amanda closed her eyes as she recalled that night, like she'd done thousands of times before. "They just kept taking me, one after the other. Laughing at me. Spitting on me. Laying me in different positions so they could fuck me."

"Do you think you could identify them again if you had to?" John asked interrupting her.

Amanda's eyes shot open. John's question bringing her back to the present. "What good would that do?" She asked with an anger in her voice. "I'm not pressing charges. Even if I still could. I'm sure it's been too long for that to happen. Plus most of them came from families with lots of money. They'd just hire their big lawyers and make me look like the whore that I am." Her anger slowly morphed into sadness as tears began to form in her eyes. "They'd make me retell my story in front of the whole world and humiliate me over and over again. No! It's not worth it."

Amanda took a drink from her glass of water and calmed herself. Then she reached across the booth and grabbed John's hand. "I really am at peace with what happened 27 years ago. I can't change it. And going after those guys will only make me relive it. But that would be in front of the media." She paused. "In my own sick way I guess I've taken back my life by reliving it in my head for my own pleasure and enjoyment. Does that make me sound sick, or what?" She asked sarcastically.

"Makes you sound like a survivor." John answered softly. He was going to push further to see if she wanted to go after the guys legally or financially, but decided against it. "Sorry. I don't bring it up to make you relive that evening. The cop in me wants to go after them. Make them pay for what they did to you. Make them suffer."

Amanda squeezed his hand. "Thank you for wanting to take care of me. The more you take care of me, the more I want to take care of you." Amanda couldn't bring herself to tell him she was growing to love him. Everything was happening too fast. But John had opened the door to a corner of her psyche that no other man had ever come close to before. The attraction she felt towards him, the need she felt deepening, was overwhelming. "And please don't feel bad about bringing it up. I think the more I talk about it with you, the more I come to grips with it."

"I care about you too." John wanted to confess his feelings but couldn't bring himself to it. "I also think I'm coming to understand you, and why you keep going back there in your mind. We'll work through it." Then he realized she always need to go back there in her mind to climax. Like a drug addict who can't kick their addiction. "Or maybe not. Maybe that will always be a part of your life."

Tears began to well-up in Amanda's eyes again. "That's what I'm afraid of. I'm tired of being a freak."

John sat there for a few seconds before responding. He felt his anger rising again. "I'm not sure who fucked you up more. The assholes who raped you. Or your worthless ex-husband for convincing you, you were a freak. There's only one thing I hate more than bullies. Assholes."