In this edited version, I've changed a few words here and there, and added to the ending. I've also changed categories, from Humor & Satire to Erotic Couplings.
When Father Tobias was twenty one he entered the seminary. It wasn't a calling or anything like that, though. He wanted to hide, hide behind the collar. There his boyish good looks would keep the women at bay; well most of them. Some had absolutely no morals when it came to satisfying their carnal cravings, be it man or priest.
It wasn't that he didn't like women. In fact, just the opposite was true, he adored them. The trouble was, despite how attracted to him they were, once they got a look in his toolbox, they either laughed him red in the face, or got pissed off and stormed out, while hurling humiliating obscenities his way. Poor Father Tobias, you see, had a pecker that was only three and a half inches long, erect. He had the good looks to get almost any woman he desired, but not the equipment to finish the job. He thought it one of mother nature's crueler pranks.
~
It was nearly nine. Jenny Laughton would be arriving soon, for her weekly confession. Father Tobias didn't want to listen to another one of her filthy admissions, which they always were, but it was his job. Had she been less attractive, he wouldn't have minded so much. But she wasn't. She was a stunning blond, who thought nothing of wearing to church, a dress that belonged on a street corner.
He wanted to say something to her about it, but he felt too uncomfortable; almost as uncomfortable as he felt in explaining to her that it wasn't becoming a lady to say words like cock, or fuck, or pussy, among many others; especially in a holy temple. But he always felt too flustered around her, and her magnetic cleavage.
~
Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
I had another affair, while my husband was at home with the kids. I didn't want to; I swear. Its just that when a good looking guy looks at me in a certain way, I get all warm and buttery inside.
I just know one of these days he's going to find out. He'll probably take his belt to me, like he does the kids when they irritate him; right before he tosses me out the door like I was yesterday's trash.
Anyway, I went to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things. We were going to have a cookout when I returned. On the way home I stopped at that little gas station, across the street from the Wayfarer Diner. While I was filling the tank I noticed my right rear tire was almost flat.
"Kind of busy today, ma'am." The pimple faced kid told me. "Be a couple of hours till I can get to it."
I called Bill. He wanted to come and get me, but I said no. "Start the barbecue now. Cook up some burgers. I'll be home with the t-bones as soon as I can."
I got tired of waiting on the uncomfortable chair in the garage office, and headed over to the diner to have a bite, and kill some time. That's when he showed up. He was the essence of the proverbial tall, dark and handsome stud, the love stories are always writing about. He looked like a football player. He spotted almost immediately.
He was arrogant, too sure of himself. He didn't even ask me if he could sit down, he just did. I should have got up and moved. I should have gotten angry, and told him to fuck off. But I didn't. I think it was his eyes. God they were penetrating! He wore this tight tee shirt, which accentuated his rippling muscles, and turned mine into Jell-O. He was every girl's fantasy come true, and he had Me in his crosshairs!
It must have been the vertigo because, before I knew it, I was in his car beside him, heading down the highway, with his right hand working its way up my left, inner thigh.
Why do I always get myself into such predicaments? I truly love my husband. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. The last thing I want to do is play hide the salami with some hung stud, behind his back.
Anyway, when his fingers brushed against the bottom of my panties, my desires opened up like a hydrant in a heat wave. Bill always said what turned him on most, was my strong sexual scent. But in a car, with a complete stranger, with the windows rolled up? It was embarrassing.
He kept at me until there was a silver dollar sized stain in my panties, and I was a couple of gasps away from a big one, before stopping.
