Chapter 4- For Catharsis
Putting away my groceries, a thought popped into my head. I quickly texted Claire,
Would you like to go out to dinner first?
I wondered if that would make the evening nicer or more 'personal' for her, and I felt a little bad about not asking sooner.
A few minutes later, she replied,
Thanks, but no. Trying not to make this more than it is. OK?
I wrote back,
Got it.
It was just as well. I didn't want this to be anything more, either. And going out to dinner with Claire, knowing what we would be doing afterwards but still having to wait, would be worse than hanging around my apartment, waiting for it to happen. Even after a cool shower and dinner, I still had an hour to wait.
I probably checked the time every other minute from 5 o'clock on. I tried to find something to do- I scrolled through news online, I planned out some work for the week, I did a few push-ups, I plugged in my bass. Anything to keep myself from jerking off to relieve the sexual tension I felt. Finally, it was two minutes before 6. I figured that was close enough, and I headed down the stairs.
Claire answered shortly after I knocked. We were both wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and her full, dark hair was held back in a ponytail. I had figured it would be something like this- no make-up, no candles and music, nothing special. This wasn't about her, it was about me- my lust, my desire.
"Hey," she said, "sorry about...dinner. I mean..."
"I get it," I assured her. "I just didn't know what would make this easier for you."
"Aside from changing your mind?" she said jokingly, but not without a hint of hope.
"Aside from that."
"It's fine. I can do this. It's just not my first choice, you know. Nothing personal, it's just..." she trailed off.
"I get it. Really," I said, not quite sure I did, but willing to fake understanding if that helped her.
"Thanks. You really are a sweet guy," she said, leading us back to the bedroom. "But I guess that's partly because you want to keep getting laid."
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, right?" I joked.
"Or don't upset the pussy that fucks you," she added, using cruder language than I had heard her use before. I tried to picture Claire getting drunk at a club, hanging on obnoxious guys, grinding against a stranger, trying to decide if she was going to go home with someone. The image just didn't fit with the Claire I knew. I got comfortable on the bed while Claire made her arrangements to settle in after the deed was done. She had trail mix in a bowl and a glass of tea for each of us.
I started to think about the other girls I'd seen in clubs and how I so quickly judged them. How many of them were more like Claire most of the time, but trying desperately to stop feeling lonely for a few hours, just like I was? What was Dominique like the rest of the week? Did she cry after she left my apartment? Did she go back out the next night, vainly trying again to fill that hole in her heart? Was she ever tempted to do what Claire had done, and just give up?
"So what'd you do today?" she asked casually, climbing onto the bed next to me.
"Tried not to think about tonight," I said without missing a beat. Claire laughed, and I said, "Seriously, though, I went to the batting cages for a while, and Marco's boys joined me after a while."
"Oh, nice. You play ball?"
"Used to. But I ended up in landscaping. Go figure."
"Speaking of baseball," she said, "a funny thought occurred to me today."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Do you realize were running the bases backwards?"
I gave her a quizzical look, not understanding what she meant at first.
"The bases...you know. Penetration is a home run, but we did that first." Casually sliding off her sweatpants, she said, "Then we moved on to touching below the waist- third base."
I pulled off my shirt, and catching on, I smiled and said, "Ohhh, and second base was Friday night- I touched boobs."
"So eloquent, aren't you?" she joked, pulling her shirt over her head.
I looked at her breasts for the first time. So simple, so flawless. I put my hand gently on her side and moved it slowly up. "Sorry, blood is leaving my brain and relocating to more urgent regions of my body. Words not working right."
"Men," she said with fake disdain.
"So...what about
first
base?" I asked, curious. "I know it's off limits tonight, but..."
"Kissing? I think that's going to be a firm line in the sand. I really want you to respect that, OK?"
"That's fine, Claire. I can respect that," I said, meanwhile thinking that sand is a bad place to draw a line.
*******
After giving me a few moments to stare at and caress her chest, Claire said softly, "Come on, come on. I'm starting to get self-conscious here."
"Sorry...it's just..."
"I know, I know. This might be the only time you'll ever see them and you want to take it all in."
That wasn't what I was thinking, but no need to correct her. With a hand on her shoulder, I firmly guided her onto her back, then spent an eternity drinking in her body. I took full advantage of the permission I had to touch everywhere. My lips went from her neck down to her hips, then from her toes up to her inner thighs. When I got there, she said softly, "It's up to you, but I'm not crazy about the idea of oral tonight."
Like I said before, I don't mind it, but I much prefer intercourse, so I was happy to act like I was conceding to her wishes. My kisses trailed back up her abdomen and landed around her breasts. My hands, meanwhile, had been gripping her tight thighs, but now were firmly planted on her lower back.
"Do you work out?" I mumbled in between kisses. I was concentrating on the bottom of her breasts, exploring the area where her chest began to curve out. "I can feel your muscles. You're really toned."
Claire put a hand on my head and said, "It's mostly just good genetics. But I do Pilates and yoga a few times a week."
"What would it take to convince you to do a round of naked yoga for me?"
"Get me pregnant, and I just might consider it a fitting reward."
"Hmm," I hummed, my mouth around a hardening nipple.
"Want me to use the vibe now or after?" she asked.
"Both," I replied quickly, having anticipated that question.
"OK, then," she said. Then pushing gently on my head, she ordered, "Up."
I let go of her with a sigh and rolled away, slipping off my pants in the process. Claire pulled her vibrator out of the drawer and went straight to work. Seeing no reason not to, I began touching her all over. My hands cradled her hips and I kissed around her bellybutton.
Rather than cum after a few seconds, like she usually did, Claire backed off the vibe just before it happened. After slowing her breathing for a moment, she made contact again, circling her clit but not touching it. Her breathing sped up, and I moved my hands slowly up her ribs. Just as she started to gasp, she pulled away again. I lifted up my head and looked at her face, trying to figure out her game. Without even opening her eyes, she said with a slight groan, "Just trying to get wet enough for you. One more go outta do it."
I shook my head and smiled. Claire really was something special. The thought that this friendly, sexy woman was being denied to mankind was a damn shame.
Claire worked herself up one more time, and it only took a half minute of circling her clit with the vibe before she moved it across her nub and came with a very feminine shout. Her free hand flew up by her head and she pushed her fingers into her hair. One leg stretched out and the other curled up, forcing her on to her side. I followed her roll and latched my mouth onto a nipple, eliciting another cry and a hand on my back. The feel of our skin touching charged the air with desire. I felt an animalistic urge to jump on top of her and begin rutting.
I backed up and looked at Claire, her body still trembling, her face and upper chest glistening with sweat, her eyes closed and her mouth open, sucking in air. I held still and listened to my heart racing. I wanted to wait until she was ready. I wanted to be considerate and patient and let her lead. I wanted to think of her needs, and yet I watched as my hands moved of their own accord, grabbing her hip and rolling her onto her back. I told myself to ask her something, to caress her gently, but even as those thoughts passed across my consciousness, I was kneeling in between her legs and spreading them. Not concerning myself with accuracy, I let my hands find pleasure in her form while my cock poked around, finding the warmest spot between her legs.
Before I could settle in and thrust, however, Claire's eyes shot open. With no warning, her hands moved between us, pushing my chest. One of her legs wrapped around one of mine and pulled it out from under me, throwing me off balance and landing me on my side. It was like a judo move in bed. Claire's hands guided my fall until I was on my back, with her straddling my hips.
"Let me be clear," she said, still panting. "You tell me before you cum and we'll switch. But until then, I'm on top."
"Yes, ma'am," I got out, hoping I sounded playful and not intimidated.
With one hand, she held my shaft, and I winced at the tightness of her grip. It took her just a second to line it up and then only another second to sink down on it. Claire began a forceful, steady motion that was partly up-and-down and partly back-and-forth. Part sliding, part bouncing, it felt wild. I started thrusting, but it only messed up her perfect rhythm.
"This," she grunted, "is one thing," another grunt, "I
can't
do...ooohhh...with a vibrator."
I could find no appropriate words, nor did I need to. I lay back, taking in the memorable sight of Claire moving on top of me. It was a sight I knew I would remember the rest of my life. Her lips slightly parted, her brow wrinkled in concentration, and the sheen of sweat on her breasts glimmering in the faint glow of the TV. I felt a little like a bystander in the moment, an observer of something sacred. I slid my hands onto her breasts, cupping them gently. They weren't heavy in my hands, but as she moved I still felt them wiggle slightly. I squeezed and massaged very softly, and Claire put her hands on my own for a moment and whispered, "That's good."
Claire moved her hips solely for her own pleasure, pushing and grinding towards her own release. But the wonderful thing about being a man having sex with a woman who is pursuing
her
own pleasure on your body is that
your
own pleasure is an inevitable by-product. I could have closed my eyes and let her bring me to release with no effort at all. Instead, I was forced to exert some effort holding back.
I breathed loudly in and out through my nose, opening my eyes to look around the room, seeking distraction. Pottery...her hobby. Pictures...pictures of what? What was it that had bothered me about the pictures in her place? Pictures of friends...pictures of college...no family. Odd.
I was pulled out of my musings when Claire collapsed onto me, her breath hot in my ear. Her grinding had become more intentional, slower, but more focused. Suddenly, she breathed out a quiet, shaky, "
Ohhhhhhhhh...
" and her legs tightened around my waist. I moved my hands from her hips, where I had been resting them, and held onto her ass, which was small and tight and easily contained in my two hands. Claire hissed in my ear, sucking in a deep breath of air, and her thighs squeezed even tighter. Her walls clenched around my base, milking me, urging me to join her.
I didn't see any reason not to do so. While she was still squeezing me but clearly winding down, I wrapped my arms around her back, rocked one way, then rolled us over in the other direction. I clenched her tight with my arms and thrust. Claire's arms were trapped in my embrace, and I wasn't intending to let go. She moved her hands up to my hips and pushed up in time with my thrusts.
I could have cum anytime after we rolled, but I wanted to enjoy just a few moments of using her body as I willed. Clutching her shoulder with one hand and keeping the other wrapped around her back, I pulled her down towards me. For another minute, I thrust as hard as I dared, marveling at how easy it was to move her slim body however I wanted. My gut started to tingle and my breathing got frantic.
