The Body Remembers

They say that the body holds memories in the same way that the mind does. If we associate a person or place with pain, pleasure, or discomfort, being around that person or place will bring up those physical sensations, in the same way that seeing a photograph or hearing a particular song might make us feel sad or nostalgic or romantic.

My body remembers you, and the pleasure you give me.

It can start just from sitting next to you. I sometimes feel drawn to you like a magnet, always wanting to be closer. Then the familiar throbbing ache starts to spread through my body and my skin starts to tingle, almost like I'm getting a series of tiny electric shocks. My nipples get hard, my breathing becomes shallow, and I feel a languid heaviness in my limbs. It's like being drugged with lust.

I feel an overwhelming desire to give you physical pleasure. It doesn't have to be particularly sexual: sometimes I just want to rub your feet, scratch your back or massage your head. I want to watch your body relax, your eyes close, to hear you say that the way I'm touching you feels nice. Knowing that you feel good is a huge turn-on for me. Watching you get yourself off is an incredibly erotic experience for me, and I sometimes fantasize about you being with multiple lovers at once, all of whom are totally focused on your pleasure,

When you ask me if I want to go lie down, my breath always catches in my throat. I almost feel like I'm in a trance, like time slows down as I imagine what's to come. I'm not having clear thoughts at this point; I am all sensation and desire.

I like to keep my place cold, so we slide in under the covers on my bed. I turn to face you, and put my arm around you so I can rub your back. There is always a moment before we kiss when our lips are inches apart and I can feel your hot breath on my skin. I love those seconds of anticipation, waiting for you to lean in and touch your soft lips to mine.

I have always felt the need to be in control, in all aspects of life, but particularly sexually. It felt like a means of protecting myself, of staying safe. I don't think I have ever trusted anyone enough sexually to completely let go, to stay present and to give myself up totally to what I was feeling. I used to have to coach myself to have an orgasm with another person; to remind myself to relax, to breathe, to just let it happen. But even when I did let it happen I had to keep things contained, manageable, under control. My body remained suspicious.

With you, something has changed. My body trusts you, and that sets me free.

I love when you have the power, and I totally get off on acquiescing to you. I like that you make me wait, that you decide when we're going to kiss, that you control when I'm going to cum. I feel totally safe with you driving; so I can just close my eyes and have faith that you're going to take me somewhere beautiful.

When you finally kiss me, I feel light-headed. You have a very sensuous mouth, and sometimes I feel like I'm kissing you in slow motion, wanting to experience and taste you as fully as possible. I part my lips for you, and you run your tongue around my lips and teeth, then entwine your tongue with mine, making lazy circles. My body responds and I feel myself opening for you. Despite the cold coming from the air conditioner, I feel flushed, like heat is radiating out of my skin.

You breathe into my mouth, and the intensity of the sensation makes me moan. I stroke your chest, and feel your nipples harden under my touch. I suck on your tongue and gently graze your inner thigh with my fingertips. I could caress and lick you for hours. Your body is beautiful, and something as simple as tracing a line down your side to your thigh or kissing the back of your neck can take my breath away.

You tell me to take off my clothes. I've never been comfortable with my body or being naked, but the way you look at me makes me feel sexy. I strip quickly and lay back down. The cold air on my skin gives me goose bumps, and my nipples get even harder. You raise my arms above my head and look at me. My body is humming, longing for your touch. You put two of your fingers in my mouth, and I feel myself getting wet. When I suck on your fingers I feel like I am submitting to you, and I find it incredibly hot. I feel like I would willingly do anything for you in this moment.

You remove your fingers from my mouth and kiss me hard. You start to stroke my nipples with your wet fingertips, and I moan and arch my back. You run your hand down my side, grazing my ribcage, and I'm vibrating from your touch. You gently open my legs with your hand. I love it when you just move my body where you want it, and I love that I want to let you. I can't begin to articulate how much that turns me on.

I close my eyes and bite my bottom lip. My body knows what's coming, and it feels like all of my blood has rushed to my nipples and my clit. You slowly slide your fingers down the inside of my knee to my thigh, and I gasp. You stroke my inner thigh so lightly that I feel dizzy with pleasure. You move your hand to my other knee and start again, leaving a slow trail of heat on my leg. You move from one thigh to the other, barely touching my skin, teasing me. You have intuitively figured out my body, and everything you do feels amazing. I didn't know I could feel so much physical bliss. It's a beautiful surprise every time.

I suddenly feel your finger on my clit, and you move so gently and slowly that I start to shake. I want to raise my hips to get closer to your touch, but I stay still, let you set the pace. You move your hand away and then come back, again making tiny, almost imperceptible circles with your finger. I want to tell you what you're doing to me, how your touch affects my body, but all I can say is "Oh God, it feels so good", over and over again. Body turns on, brain turns off.

You slide two fingers inside me and I realize just how wet you have made me. I can feel your fingers drawing the pleasure from my body, and my G-spot swelling from your touch. My moans get louder as the incredible sensations build in my body. "You're making me melt," I whisper into your mouth.

You have mastered the art of bringing me right to the edge of orgasm and then not letting me go over. You can always tell when I'm getting close and then you stop or change what you're doing. Your fingers move up my body and pinch my nipples, hard. I feel it everywhere. Now you rub my clit again until I whimper, then your fingers are back inside me. You do this 4 or 5 times until I feel like begging you to let me cum, but I know it won't happen until you decide it's time. I give myself up to you completely.

"Do you want me to lick you?"

I want it so badly that all I can do is say "Please. Please."

Oral sex had always caused me a lot of anxiety, and I had never been able to relax enough to have an orgasm that way.

You changed that too.

You move down my body and I feel your warm, wet tongue on my clit. Your touch is turning me to liquid, and I open my legs wider for you. You lick up and down, and my whole body is trembling. I feel like I'm losing control, but I know that you'll ground me, so it's OK. You slide your fingers into me again, and the pleasure is completely consuming. "I'm so...close." I can barely get words out.

You raise your head for a second. "Do you want to come for me?"

"Please make me come." You start to lick my clit again, and your fingers are moving faster against my G-spot. The pleasure builds and builds, and every time I think it can't get more intense, it does. It's like a wave that keeps getting higher and higher without breaking. What is happening to my body is almost incomprehensible to me. I am screaming now, and as the orgasm finally comes, the screams turn into sobs. It is such a beautiful, ecstatic feeling that it's almost indescribable. I have allowed myself to surrender, to entrust my body to the hands of another person, and look at the gift I've received in return. Pure bliss.