I sit, holding the smoke in my lungs, feeling a wave of relaxation come over me, and then another as I exhale and the earthy smell of the weed fills the living room. This is what a Saturday home alone is for. Lena going to college is exciting, but I was more than happy to let Jen take her into the city to do all the shopping. The color of her dorm bedding makes no difference to me. There are whole seasons of shows I have to catch up on.
A slight panic hits as I hear a car pull up to the house. Perhaps they forgot something and came back? Jen will be pissed to find me smoking inside. I sit up to glance out the window. It's not Jen and Lena. I know that old silver Volvo. It's Chloe's. Sure enough, a moment later Chloe steps from the car. As always, I'm struck immediately by how much she displays her femininity. While half of Lena's friends ask to be
called 'they' and present themselves as androgynous as possible, Chloe had always been confidently female, and that confidence has only grown over the years.
But as she steps around the car and heads to the front door, it is clear she's not her normal, vivacious self. Something about her brow and her gate tells me instantly she is in some distress.
I stand and watch her as she takes a moment to collect herself before climbing the stairs and knocking. She always wears the same basic outfit and, to my silent pleasure, has for some time. A black hoodie that she would keep zipped up for school, but otherwise wore open, it constantly falling from her otherwise bare shoulders, as if she just wanted to strip it off completely but couldn't bring herself to it. Under that, she always had a tank top with many, like today's, riding up to show her the smooth pale skin of her belly with the two subtle vertical shadows defining her abdominals. And as always, she wears torn jeans, with holes at the knees and along her thighs. Perhaps they're the same pair I saw her in last summer, with holes revealing the undercurve of both her butt cheeks? One can always hope.
She takes one more step to reach the door and I have my hand on the knob before her knock is over. But I wait. It seems silly, but I don't want to give her the impression I am eager to see her. I hold still for a few seconds and she knocks again. I open the door and take in her pale olive face, framed by her raven black hair which is perpetually in a ponytail. She has always drawn thick black lines underneath her eyes, a look I was not generally a fan of. But on her, it worked. Today, however, the eyeliner which is usually so meticulous is uneven and her large grey-blue eyes glisten with tears.
"Chloe," I say with feigned surprise, motioning for her to step into the entryway.
She looks suddenly embarrassed as she enters.
"Oh! Hi. I was just looking for Lena. Is she around?"
"She's in the city with her mom, college shopping."
"Oh, right! Sorry..."
She takes a step back to leave through the still-open door and I instinctually take a small step forward in response.
"You ok?"
"Um... I'm alright, yeah."
I try to strike as warm and comforting a tone as I can.
"You don't have to tell me anything about it, but clearly something has got you upset, and there's no need to lie to me about that."
"I didn't mean to lie! Sorry... I just... I've just been through some stuff lately and wanna talk to Lena about it, that's all."
"Everything OK at home?"
"Oh, yeah. It's not like that. It's just..." she holds back a sob, "Brian and I broke up."
Thank God
, I think to myself,
Brian was a tool
.
"I'm so sorry, Chloe. These things can be really hard at first. I'm sure Lena would be glad to help you through this, but she and her mom are getting dinner in the city and probably won't be back until eleven, twelve tonight."
"That's OK. I'll talk to her tomorrow."
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
She glances at the floor and pulls her arms close.
"Actually, could you give me a hug? I could really use one."
I feel a warmth in my chest and forget to breathe for half a second.
"I would be happy to. Come here."
She closes the door behind her and steps up against me, throwing her arms around my waist and placing her cheek on my chest. I wrap my arms around her shoulders, my hands landing on her upper back. I feel her warmth against my torso and am utterly aware of her breasts against my ribs. They always looked ample and firm and now I can feel that to be true. I take a few deep breaths hoping she'll think I'm promoting calm for her sake, not because I am afraid of becoming erect. She would certainly feel it if I did. The seconds pass and she stays pressed against me, with no sign of wanting the embrace to end. I can smell her hair. Almond. Right now my hands are touching her hoodie, but I consider raising one up to touch the skin on the back of her neck. Before I do, she lets out an exhale with just the hint of a satisfied hum, the situation becomes overwhelming, and my cock twinges.
I gently grab her shoulders and move her back to create some distance. For the first time, she makes direct eye contact with me, her pale eyes still shining, but differently than before.
"Would you..." I begin to ask, in an attempt to say something, anything, to move on from this moment, "...like some tea?"
Before she can answer, I nervously explain myself.
"Lena has always liked tea when she's, ya know. When she's upset."
She smiles.
"Yeah, Lena does love tea. I'd be happy to."
"Great. Why don't you have a seat in the den, I'll go put the kettle on."
As she steps into the den, I am suddenly aware of my mistake.
"Oh wait!"
I step in quickly after her, but her eyes are already on the pipe and lighter on the coffee table. She laughs.
"It's OK! I could already smell it. You're an adult, it's legal. I'm sorry I've interrupted your Saturday afternoon."
"Oh, don't be," I say, picking up the pipe and lighter. "Like I said, they won't be home until late, so I'll have time for this later. Have a seat, I'll just be in the kitchen for a minute."
I turn and walk down the hall to the kitchen, set the lighter and pipe on the counter, reach down and adjust my half-erect cock. I shouldn't have invited her to stay. No, it's fine. I've known her for years, she's spent countless hours at the house. She can easily see this whole interaction in an innocent light, which she should. But what if she didn't?
As I plug in the kettle, I notice Chloe in the doorway. She crosses her feet and grabs her arms in a shy way.
"Sorry," she says, "it just felt weird sitting alone in there. I left my phone in the car."
"Oh no, that's fine. The water will be hot in a couple minutes. What would you like? We got ginger, lemon, Chai, jasmine-"
"Actually," she moves a little closer, "could I have a hit on that pipe? I know, I know I'm not 21, but I find it really helps when I'm this anxious. You know?"
I hesitate. She's not twenty-one, but she is an adult.
"I thought you and Lena didn't do this sort of thing?"
She gives a big, open-mouth smile as she rolls her eyes.
"Lena doesn't. And I don't when she's around."
She leans in slightly and her loose tank top falls away from her body, making her black bra and the pale inner curve of her breasts visible.
"Alright," I say, "but you can't go telling anyone."
"Why would I?"
I pick up the pipe and lighter and hold them out to her. Her fingertips just barely touch my hands as she accepts them.
She takes a big drag. Too big. I think she's trying to impress me, but her technique is amateur league and I can tell it hurts her throat. To her credit, though, she doesn't cough.
She hands it back.
"Thanks."
I bring the pipe to my lips, eager for them to touch what her own lips just touched. I pull and, realizing I want to impress her back, take a deep hit that I release in a dense cloud pouring slowly out of my mouth. Jen used to say I looked sexy when I did it. One of Chloe's eyebrows raises a bit and I see the tip of her tongue lick the inside of her lip as she reaches out for the pipe. I hand it over.
"So," I say as I lean against the counter, "you want to talk about it? I'm a weird person to share with, I know, but I'm happy to listen if you simply need to just, I don't know, let it all out."
She leans against the counter as well and looks across the room.
"Thanks. It's just... it wasn't unexpected. We'd been talking about it being a possibility all summer. We're going to different schools next year. But we'll only be an hour and a half away from each other! I thought we could make it work and had thought that I'd convinced him of it too, but then today... He said it wouldn't be fair to either of us. That we should both be free to 'explore' other people. I'm sure he's looking forward to doing a lot of 'exploring.' So, I guess he just dated me for two years because he thought he couldn't do any better. Now, the moment he has a chance to be with anyone else... I just thought him better than this, you know?"
I realize I'm smiling, while she probably expects a look of concern or sympathy.
"I know you're hurting," I say, "and understand why you're blaming him for the pain, it is due to his actions, no doubt. But painful actions aren't necessarily bad actions. I'm sure he loves you, in the passionate way young men do, and I'm sure this was a painful conclusion for him to come to, but his logic is sound."
Dammit. I'm making her tear up again.
"So just because us being together will suddenly present some obstacles, we just shouldn't try?" she asks, choking up.
I sigh.
"Why don't you take another hit of that and pass it back?"
She does. It seems to calm her a bit. I take my time with another hit. She's staring at me, impatient for me to say something.
"You know..." I say, offering her the pipe back. She reaches out for it. I gently grab her hand with my left, turn it over palm up, and place the pipe in it. It's only a few seconds, but she holds her breath while it's happening, as though she was nervous. I step back.
"...I had a similar problem at the end of high school."
"I'm sure it's not the same."
"Oh, it's not exactly the same, but same enough. I dated the same girl from fifteen to nineteen."
"I've always thought of you as a committed relationship guy-- because you and Jen seem so close."
Things aren't always what they seem.