As I reviewed the elegant invitation again I still felt a sense of indecision. It had been a long time since I'd attended such an affair. I was alternately filled with consuming dread or excitement. There was a reason I'd stopped attending, a very good reason. Closing my eyes I fought those thoughts of him and the tears that always followed. With a deep breath and forced resolve I decided this may be just what I needed to begin again. My hands were shaking as I put the invitation back into it's envelope and slipped it into my purse.
The lobby was busy with new hotel guests arriving and I recognized a few well known faces with famous names. I could not help but wonder if they also held an elegant invitation in their pocket, and smiled at the prospect. If things went as planned I'd never know. I checked for messages and the desk clerk handed me a small slip of paper that only said "Lunch" I turned and headed towards the elevators having left the note on the desk. There would be no lunch tomorrow. I would not even respond. If he was smart he would not be expecting one.
Kicking my heels off as I entered I was calmed by the room the hotel had reserved for me. Having stayed there many times before they knew I desired a room with windows that did not face any other building. I disliked closing my blinds. I preferred to rise with the sun as it brightened the room. The bed had been turned down and the wine left to breathe. After setting my things down on the desk I poured the deep red Cabernet into a crystal glass and took a sip before noticing the single red rose in a vase near the bed.
My mind immediately went to the "Lunch" note. Not a question. A statement. Or was that the error of the person taking the message down? I wondered why I bothered to even contemplate such things as it mattered little. I had stopped being available to him when he had stopped being available to me. If I was going to go to this Ball tomorrow night there would be very little time for lunch. He had been the one to set the rules of priority. As was my nature in relationships I listened well. That is not to say I had not whined about it. He knew I was unhappy yet did nothing to change it. A woman always knows when her position of priority had changed and yet he claimed it hadn't. The beautiful perfect rose, as nice of a touch as it was, had thorns.
As I sipped my wine I flipped through the catalog of dresses the designer had sent to me. Each were exquisite, with matching masks and heels. This was going to be a very difficult choice. Restless I walked to the window and looked down on the street below. As I stood there lost in thought my phone began to ring and I ignored it. I was not playing a game of cat and mouse. My goal was not to make him chase me. I knew he played no such games and only chased the woman who had caught his eye, not the one he already had. I also knew he would not continue to try for very long. As my absence gave him time to fancy himself elsewhere. I will love that man to my last breath but I have tired of crying myself to sleep over him. I also knew he would be at the Ball. I prayed I could avoid him but knew it would be impossible. My heat for him could find him in a room of 100 men without having to search. All I had to do was close my eyes and I would feel him. The perfect match in every way. Although I had my suspicions over what had changed it, every woman knows, he'd just not found the words to tell me. And I had asked. Many times. Taking a deep breath as the tears formed yet again, I poured myself another glass and ran the water for the bath I had been looking forward to all day. It, and the wine, would help me to sleep through the night.
I woke with a start to the knock on the door telling me that coffee had arrived. I stretched full out as I told them to use their key to enter. As the smartly uniformed elderly gent entered the room I slipped into my robe and sat near the window where he was placing the array of fruits and coffee. He left silently with a smile and a nod. I checked my cell for messages. 3 missed calls but only 2 messages. Both from my assistant at the office. It was going to be a busy day. First was the dress. A choice had to be made and the order placed shortly.
I wanted no feathers or sequins for this gathering even though it would be quite appropriate. I wanted my body to decorate the dress and scream sex from across the room. No need to hide the purpose of the event or my eagerness to please and be pleased. On the very last page was the dress I was looking for. Cut to the belly button where a beautiful beaded gem rested and accentuated the small waist. It was almost completely backless with two slits up to each mid thigh. Beautiful and delicate lace thigh highs, strappy very high heels and an amazing mask were paired with it. I placed my order and realized I was now more than excited. I was wet with the anticipation. I knew from past balls that only the skilled were invited. The organizers had a reputation to uphold after all and never wanted anyone leaving unsatisfied. Smiling I returned my calls to the office and leaving instructions that I would be out of pocket for the next 24 hours. I was not to be disturbed. Under any circumstances. My male assistant chuckled and cheekily told me to have a good time.
As I stepped out of the shower the girl I'd hired to do my hair was waiting in the room. I wanted my long raven hair up, yet messy, with small sections falling round my neck. She did a marvelous job. As the sun began to set out my window I realized the time to leave the room was close and panic began to rise. I rang for a whiskey and it arrived at the same time as my dress. I allowed myself time to sit and stare at it as I sipped the much needed whiskey. I was not a stranger to these types of gatherings. I had only considered them part of my past. It should be easy to slip back into them but oddly it was not. At least not yet. I started with the mask as make up had to be applied around it...and not much of it. A bit on the eyes and bright red lipstick and it was done. The dress fit like a glove yet leaving enough room for comfort. I clipped on the long gold back chain to drape my back. Out of respect the collar would not be worn tonight and with the thought of it my breath caught again and I pushed the thought away. The gold cuffs on each wrist remained. I practiced in the heels and took a last look in the mirror. I'd carry no purse tonight. Only the invitation. As I closed the door to my room I heard my phone ringing inside and I turned towards the elevators. My resolve perfectly in place. I never settled for second place.
The ballroom was almost as magnificent as those already in attendance. I exchanged my invitation at the door for an equally elegant notice of a number. I was to find the other guest in the room who had been provided the same number. Smiling I made my way into the room. Yes, this is how I remembered it and there was a sense of returning to place you had missed without knowing you had. I gratefully accepted a glass of champagne with a strawberry in it and walked the perimeter of the room as it seemed those already paired were dancing slowly to the music playing softly in the background. I paused a moment to watch them and felt breath against my neck as he whispered in my ear "Shall we join them?" I answered by holding my number up and he took my hand and led me to the center of the floor. As he turned me towards him he showed me his number, took my card and put them both in his jacket. A Gentleman. I was pleased. Looking closer even his mask could not hide that I knew him. Or of him. We had worked on a few major projects together but not as a team. We had been on other sides of the table. Again I found myself smiling with pleasure and he noticed and smiled back at me.