by Shinzon and Barenecessity
Dan sat quietly at his desk, clutching a full cup of café noir in his hands. Normally by this time, he would have enjoyed at least two cups of the revitalizing liquid but this morning it remained untouched. As he stared deeply into the blackness of the rich Brazilian coffee, his facial expressions fluctuated between ecstatic to melancholy. Sighing heavily, he raised his head ever so slowly and glanced across the desk at his wife's picture. Pausing momentarily, his full attention then focused upon the Bible before him. Narrowing his eyes, Dan read aloud the words of Matthew 5:27-28 once again.
Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
He thoughtfully stroked his well-kept salt and pepper beard, looking long and hard at the image being reflected upon the black surface. Vivid images of last night thrilled and disturbed him equally. One minute he smiled; the next he grimaced as conflicting emotions washed over him. Catching a glimmer of light reflecting from his gold wedding band, he slammed his large hand angrily onto the desk.
"Who are you?" he asked the man staring back at him.
**********
'What was he thinking and feeling this morning?' wondered Rachel as she eased into her chair and logged onto the computer. Uncertainties combined with insecurities caused her mind to race unchecked, conjuring up scenario after scenario. An uncomfortable tightness formed in her throat and chest as waves of anxiety washed over her.
'You bloody fool girl, what have you done?' she berated herself. 'You've really landed yourself in shit now!'
Rachel tried to steady herself and go about business as usual, but the prevailing nervousness and frustration prevented her from concentrating. She shuffled paperwork back and forth, going through the motions but she was not really paying attention.
Startled by the sound of a new instant message, Rachel jumped. In dismay, she watched the flashing Communicator in the corner of her screen; it was an instant message from her boss, Dan. Her hand shook as she double clicked on the icon.
[dreynolds]: We need to talk ... about last night. Meet me at the Garden Terrace at lunch.
Butterflies churned in her stomach as she read the succinct words over and over. She needed something to put her mind at rest but his words were void of feelings. Negative emotions clouded her judgment and fueled her anxiety. She searched the message repeatedly but couldn't find anything positive in them. Feelings of rejection threatened to overwhelm her as she stared at the cold instruction. Fighting back the tears which welled inside, Rachel lowered her face, locked her computer screen, grabbed her handbag and walked swiftly to the ladies room. Once safely locked behind the confines of a stall, she leaned her head backwards, closed her eyes and allowed her emotions to run unchecked. Tears streamed down her face as she cried silently.
'Jesus girl, what were you thinking? He's married!' she thought, dabbing her eyes regularly to avoid staining her dark blue suit.
'Flirting and having a little fun was one thing but letting the boss fuck you .......! You can't even blame drink for your behaviour. You just let him!'
'Christ, he must think I'm a complete slut. No wonder he ignored me this morning.'
'Well girl, you can't bloody sit in here all day. What is that old adage? Oh yes, attack is the best form of defense!'
Rachel's pride and defiance kicked into gear and she quickly formulated a strategy to extricate herself from the embarrassing situation. Inspired by her newfound strength, she actually believed a certain amount of dignity could still be maintained. Rachel got up, dried her eyes and exited the stall. After washing her hands, she made a quick check of herself in the mirror, smoothed her pencil skirt and tugged her jacket in place before exiting the ladies room. She walked directly to her desk where she picked up the phone and promptly dialed an internal extension.
When Dan returned from his 10:30 a.m. appointment, he picked up the stack of messages from his desk and quickly scanned Rachel's precise writing, prioritizing the messages in his mind. Noticing the voicemail indicator flashing, he picked up the receiver. Most were routine calls but the last message caught him by complete surprise.
"Morning Dan, it's Laura. Could you give me a call when you have a min. Rachel has been to see me this morning and we need to chat. Ext 56238. I'm free most of the morning".
Dan leaned back in his chair, stunned and perplexed by Laura's call.
'Why had Rachel been to see Human Relations?' he wondered. 'Was she sick? Was she leaving? Had she filed some sort of complaint about him? Oh god, did it have something to do with their intimacy last night?'
As Rachel returned to her workstation with a tray of drinks, she could see Dan was on the phone as the indicator light glowed in her peripheral vision. She knew from experience that HR would have contacted him by now and it was quite possible she was the reason he was on the phone. Having distributed the drinks, she squared her shoulders with steely resolve, focused on her screen and systematically dealt with the various requests for her time. Externally, she appeared to be under control but deep inside Rachel was dying. She knew that in another hour, it would all be over.
Dan replaced the receiver, leaned back into his chair and exhaled deeply. He stared at the phone with a perplexed look.
'What kind of fucking game is that girl playing?' he questioned, feeling his heart beat fiercely within his barrel chest. Dan felt as though Rachel had undermined his authority and was not pleased in the least.
'That little lady needs a lesson on who's the boss around here,' he concluded and formulated a strategy for their upcoming meeting. He wanted to ensure his secretary clearly understood the lay of the land in these circumstances.
Later that morning, Dan pressed the button for the 10th floor and waited patiently for the elevator doors to close. He always enjoyed going to the Garden Terrace as it offered a place of refuge from the hustle and bustle of the business world below. When Rachel arrived, he stood, slid out the accompanying chair and steadied it for her as she joined him on the terrace. Her refusal to make eye contact only confirmed what he already knew.
"Rachel, we need to talk," he said with a low, deep voice. The firmness in his tone reflected his conviction.
He gently tilted her chin up until he could see her tanned face. She didn't utter a word nor need to as her soft brown eyes spoke for her.
"Last night was not a fluke, nor just some random fuck! I don't regret it in the least. Yes, there is a sense of guilt. Yes, I am wrestling with my conscience but rest assured what we experienced was real, very real and if possible I want to continue a relationship with you."
Rachel's doe-like eyes widened as she listened very carefully to each and every word.
"Rachel, this wasn't a one night stand and I want you to understand that. It has touched me deeply just as it has rocked you. Believe me Rachel; it is very, very real. In a couple of weeks, we'll be having a Company Away Day and hopefully it will give us some quality time ... to get our heads around this."
With that, he paused briefly, and passed her a lunchbox meal. As he stood up to leave, he leaned down to ensure their conversation was not overheard.
"Oh by the way, Laura from HR called me this morning, informing me of your request for a transfer. I denied the request, telling Laura that a sufficient case for transfer hadn't been made and stressed the needs of the business outweighed the desires of the individual."
Whilst bending forward to emphasize his next words, he paused momentarily to look deep into her eyes.
"Rachel, I would be devastated should you leave. More than anything, I want you by my side, personally and professionally. Nevertheless, if you find you can no longer work for me, I want you to tell me to my fucking face. Otherwise, I expect you to get back to your desk after lunch and perform your duties in accordance with the high standards you have consistently set for the office."
After a brief pause, he continued, "Apologies love, but I have to run. I have an audit meeting in five and can't be late."
"I love you ... allow me to show it!" he said smilingly.
As he turned to walk away, he squeezed her hand tenderly and headed off towards the elevator. After a few steps, he stopped abruptly, turned and added, "Oh by the way, check your bottom desk drawer when you get back to the office."
**********
The morning of the Company Away Day finally arrived and Rachel's eyes shot open in excited anticipation the moment the alarm sounded. She smiled coyly as her hand travelled over the dark blue satin sheets, rubbing the empty space beside her.