The Adultery

I want to have sex.

I want to have sex with my wife. I want to have sex with the girls from my past. And I want to have sex with you. But I don't want to have soft sex with you like I did before we met. When I thought you were beautiful standing there in the store, oblivious to me watching you. No, soft is too dangerous.

I want you to meet me at your door like I'm any old friend stopping by for a visit and after you've invited me in I want to press you against the wall in your living room. Hard.

I want to lift your kick-around t-shirt like it's the sexiest piece of lingerie I have ever seen. I want to expose your belly, your breasts. I want to take it off over your head and then pin your naked shoulders to the walls with my hands like the wings of some displayed butterfly.

I want to kiss your stomach and the area to the sides of your breasts. I want to smell your body which was not prepared for me to show up - a mix of morning soap and the light odor of the day's work. I want to lick your armpit and feel you jump.

I will kiss you again, my tongue filling your mouth.

I will work my face back down your torso stopping only momentarily as my fancy strikes me. With my head at your waist and my left hand holding your chest firm, my right hand will undo your belt, the button on your pants, your zipper. I need both hands for what comes next so I stand and tell you to be still. Returning to my knees, I shimmy your jeans over your hips. As your pelvis bone becomes exposed I stop and kiss the soft part just inside. You respond with a quiet noise. I can begin to smell you and it only makes me more nuts.

I take your pants to your ankles, but no farther. Your shoes are still on and I can't be bothered with them right now. With your legs exposed, I place both hands on the inside of your thighs and apply the lightest pressure. You let out a sigh and your legs begin to buckle so I stop.

I stand again and press myself against you. I can feel your naked skin through my thin linen pants. My erection is no secret. I return my face to your mouth and suck all the air from it. I can tell you are hungry. My right-hand moves to the small of your back as my left-hand moves again across your torso. At your stomach, I press, hard until I can feel my other hand through you. Your eyes open wide as you look at me in surprise. I hold it for a moment and then stop and continue to move down. My fingers navigate across your soft pubic hair. I feel the beautiful skin below. Your legs part ever so softly and I feel you. Wet.

Still kissing you, I slip a finger inside and then pull it out. I bring it to my mouth and taste it while you watch.

Again to my knees, I spread your legs. I press my face into you. Your back slips down the wall but my hands catch you at the breasts. You issue a pleading noise, but I don't seem to understand or maybe I am ignoring it. I work my tongue back and forth as your fingernails dig into the wall for grip. You press forward as I begin to suck. As your cries get louder I stop, worrying about whom in the house might be disturbed.

I stand you up, one hand behind you and the other takes your hair. I pull your head against the wall and whisper into your ear. "what do you want me to do to you?" Your response is inaudibly quiet even if I know the content. I ask you again, slightly more forcibly. "What do you want me to do to you?" "Fuck me," you respond in a whisper. "I want you to fuck me." You feel my breath on your ear as you speak. "Yes, I respond. "I want to fuck you too."

I lay you on the nearest surface, and finally remove your shoes and your pants. I kiss your thighs once and move up above you. You reach for my belt but I push your hand away. "I will do it myself," I inform you. I raise myself so you can see me as undo my pants. I am not wearing any underwear having planned this all in advance. With my pants removed, I return to your face allowing myself to hover between your legs. I can feel your soft wetness on me. It is warm and it invites me. I lower myself further allowing my weight to press you to the ground. My hands move up to your neck again as if to hold you there.

As I enter you I will look into your eyes and let you look into mine. I will offer you a torturous taste of what is there but my grip on your face will remind you that that is all it is - a taste - my hands holding you at an emotional distance.