The next morning, Amy was awakened by someone practically leaning on her door bell. She stumbled out of bed, barely grasping her dressing gown and pulling it around her as she headed toward the door. Who could it be at this ungodly hour? And on a Sunday? It felt as if she had barely slept a wink and she promised herself to become really angry if it turned out to be anything less than an emergency that was ruining her sleep.
"I'm coming," she yelled to the intruder. "Will you stop that noise!" she snarled as she opened the door to stare at the disturber still holding a finger on her doorbell.
"Oh, it's only you," she yawned at the sight of an angry looking Nick. "Look, why don't you come back in a few hours and give me your usual reprimand then. I'm sure I would appreciate it a lot more when I'm awake." She made another deep yawn as she prepared to close the door in his face. Right now she was too tired to be afraid of him, but even in her present state she realised that telling him that would be a major mistake.
"What is this?" Nick snarled at her, holding a strange object in close proximity of her nose.
"What is what?" she said and swallowed her next yawn as she tried to put a name to the strange object dangling in front of her nose.
"This!" he almost yelled. "I found it in my mail box. You and your little friends had some fun last night, didn't you? You want to confess right now or shall I torture you first?"
"Very funny, Nick. Do you know what time it is? It's Sunday morning, for crying out loud. Try to make your social calls at a more decent time. Right now I'm returning to sleep." She turned and tried to close the door.
"Not so fast, Missy." He put his foot against the door-frame, preventing her from shutting it. "You and your friends obviously had a lot of fun on my behalf. Just explain this to me." He held out the box again.
This time she could make out a label and she read the text out loud. "Vibrating vagina. What's that?" Comprehension hit her almost as she said the words, and she blurted on. "Oh, now I see," she chuckled loudly as she gave Nick a smug smile. "I really think you should keep such toys to yourself β it quite ruins the good impression I have of you," she sniggered at the irony.
As if she had ever had a good impression of Mr-pure-and-spiteful-arrogance standing in her doorway. Oh well, maybe when she was a young and naΓ―ve teenager, but that was not representative in the long run. No way.
He just glared at her. "It's not mine. You or some of your dear friends put it in my mailbox."
"We did? Okay, now I'm following. So the girls decided to give you a present after all? Oh well, not a bad choice. I'm sure you will get along nicely together. Goodnight, Nick." She tried closing the door again. It was still blocked. "Still here? You know, I'm sure you can get a refund on the vagina, as long as it's not used, of course."
"So, you knew about this?"
"No, actually I tried to talk them out of it, but it seemed they weren't listening to me at all. Besides, I suggested something entirely different for you," she blurted out.
"Like what?" he asked suspiciously.
"A.... Oh, never mind," she said sobering up. "Now, will you move that foot? I'm closing the door." He answered by stepping into the apartment.
"I'm not leaving until I get an explanation," he said icily as he stood hovering over her as if he was trying to dominate her into confessing.
"Suit yourself. I'll just return to my own busy schedule then. You just make yourself at home," she suggested as she closed the front door and turned toward her bedroom again to catch up on some much needed sleep.
"Stop right there," Nick snarled as he grabbed a hold of her upper arm. "I suggest you give me a better explanation and quickly," he suggested coldly.
"Don't you have better things to do,
officer
?" she snarled at the intruder as she shook away his hand.
"It's
Detective
or
Nick
. And no, I'm off duty today. Besides, I consider harassment of policemen to be a very important case."
"Well, why don't you find some
real
criminals then? Or shall we call all my friends and interrogate them? Didn't you mention torture, as well? Gee, and I thought that was illegal?"
"I'm making an exception," he answered glumly.
Realising the intruder would not leave willingly she contemplated her chances of evicting him. It didn't take long to realise he both outweighed her and outmuscled her. Zero chance of that, she thought. Time for Plan B.
"Coffee?" she asked invitingly.
"If you're not trying to poison me, I'll accept."
Okay, Plan C, then. What would Plan C be? Wait until he got tired and walked away?
Instead she prepared the coffee and handed him a cup of the hot drink. He stared suspiciously at it.
"It's coffee beans and water. I was out of cyanide," she said ironically.
"And the explanation?"
"What's to explain? The girls thought you needed a bit of help and there you have it. Be happy about it and go home and try it out," she said smugly. "But I must admit I voted for something quite different for you."
"Like what?" he asked suspiciously.
"I different temper would work wonders on your sex appeal. Not to mention a brain and some social skills informing you never to bother your neighbours before 10 o'clock on a Sunday. Just go home and get some sleep, Nick," Amy suggested as she adjusted her dressing gown to cover her legs better.
Her movement caused Nick to examine her more carefully as if he hadn't realised how thin her clothes had been before now. He stared at her naked calves and she felt a slight shiver start in her body by the thought of what he thought of her body and what he would say if she suddenly undressed in front of him. Most likely he would give her the reprimand of her life before sending her to bed with a sore ass.
She almost chuckled as she contemplated his shock if she ever attempted anything that crazy, and she couldn't quite make up her mind whether it would be worth it or not. She shook her head as if trying to empty her thoughts again. Whatever made her contemplate something that crazy in front of Nick, of all people? The stuffiest man she had ever had the misfortune to encounter?
The less interaction she had with the man the better it was. He scared her almost to death sometimes and she could never quite make out what he thought about her either. Most likely he considered her to be one of his most boring and troublesome duties, at least if judging by the usual expression of pained indulgence he was constantly bestowing her with.
She was becoming more aware of how thin her dressing gown really was and the T-shirt she had underneath barely covered her thighs. It was freezing cold in her apartment and she really wanted to return to her bed as soon as possible. That meant she had to get rid of her angry guardian-angel rather fast, but Nick simply sat quietly at her kitchen and slowly sipped the coffee - looking as if he had decided to occupy her apartment until he had his answers.
"Look, if there was nothing else, I'm returning to my bed for some much needed sleep," she said while standing up to leave for her warm bed. "You just close the door on your way out."
"What sort of hospitality is this?" Nick asked ironically, obviously having returned to his normal haughty attitude.