Tae My Breath Away

There have been butterflies dancing in the pit of my stomach for weeks now. The breathless anticipation has almost overtaken my senses. How did it come to this? How did I even manage to get ready today? Is my hair okay? Is my makeup perfect? What if he thinks I am a troll, a complete waste of his time? Can everyone who looks at me see the aching desire and excitement glowing in my eyes?

This nagging in the deep recesses of my brain told me that I was playing with fire. But who's playing anymore? Unless I make Suzanne turn the car around right now and head for home this is no longer a game. Not that it has been for a while now. I care for him more than I ever thought possible. I mean really, how can you truly know someone just through cyberspace and intermittent phone calls? But the connection is there nonetheless. There's an invisible chain linking my soul to his. Does he feel it too? I guess I won't have to wait much longer to find out.

"Are you okay Hon?" Suzanne asked with a look of concern on her face. "You look as if you are going to be sick."

"I'm fine," I stammered, "just nervous as hell and not sure of what I am doing."

"Just relax - it's a hello drink, dinner and dancing what do you have to fear? Besides, I am with you you are safe."

"I'm not feeling unsafe just unsure," I replied.

She just winked at me and lit another cigarette. I know I can tell her anything about him and how I am feeling so I forge on.

"What if he thinks I am a troll? A complete moron and waste of his time?" I asked nervously the trademark tears sliding from the corners of my eyes.

"Now knock it off! Don't be doing that! You'll mess up your makeup," She said to me with mocking admonition. "You have planned for this day for so long - just relax you look gorgeous and if he's too blind to notice fuck him he doesn't deserve to know you then!"

She's always so blunt, that's a characteristic of her charm that I love.

We pulled into a gas station, I needed a Diet Mt. Dew to calm my nerves and we were out of smokes. She leaned over the seat and pulled me into a bear hug.

"Stop stressing before you make yourself sick!"

I grabbed a Kleenex and dried my eyes reapplied fresh makeup and took a deep, unsteady breath. The next hour to the airport was going to be agony. Suzanne hopped back into the car and flipped on an 80's station. She knew that if she got me singing to good music it would always draw me out of this protective shell I retreat too when I feel vulnerable.

We sang at the top of our lungs and spent the remainder of the trip in gales of giggles. And thenI saw the sign: Airport - 2 miles.

There's those damn butterflies again. I truly thought I was going to be sick. I leaned my head out the window and tried not to watch the road as it quickly moved beneath us or rather as we quickly moved across its surface.

"You can slow down a little now," I whispered pleadingly.

"You don't want to miss him sweetie - what if he thinks you changed your mind and are not coming? I don't think he would be too thrilled about that."

"I know," I said, "but I am scared."

"I am right here with you Linda it will be just fine. It's 2 friends, well okay, 3 friends having dinner together. That's it!"

I was not sure she understood. I had tried to explain it so many different ways but it's also a personal feeling deep inside that I was not sure I wanted to share it all with anyone but him. My breath always caught in my throat with the mere mention of his name. My legs felt weak when he called. And these damn butterflies...well they just don't ever rest!

We parked the car and again I hesitated as she got out and started toward my door. My eyes pled with her to help me through this and I knew she would. Reaching down, she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently reassuring me that I would be okay and that she was right beside me every step of the way.

Great friends are few and far between. That is why I try to treasure what friendships I do have and hold dear to my heart. With that thought, my mind jumped back to him.

As we stepped off the escalator onto the main terminal concourse, I headed left for the water fountain. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe again and my mouth was horribly dry.

"Flight 116 from Maine is arriving on schedule at gate C" the female voice announced over the intercom.

Oh shit! I silently screamed to myself, this is really happening. Waves of nausea welled up in the pit of my stomach. I turned to check the monitor with flight information printed on them. I had only 8 minutes before his plane landed. Suzanne was watching me with a half grin/half-worried expression on her pretty face.

"Maybe he changed his mind and he is not even on the plane," I thought out loud.

"He would have called," she rationalized.

Sometimes I just hate her for that! Not really, but it's annoying when people try to make something look rational when I want to wallow in the irrationality of the situation! I truly love her.

Oh dear me, I don't know if I can go through with this...how was I supposed to greet him? A handshake a hug a kiss? Heaven knows if his lips touch mine the electricity will make me burst into flames. I was shaking my body trembling with each ragged breath that I drew. Suzanne reached over and squeezed my hand. Her subtle reassurances were not helping a bit. I looked into her eyes hoping she would offer me an answer but all I saw were her eyes widen a bit.

I looked up and there he was. Walking through the doors with a single red rose. I saw him before he saw me and my heart just melted. There was a flood of emotions that coursed through me excitement nervousness delight passion and fear - not to mention the overwhelming feeling of love. All at once I felt assaulted and almost betrayed by my own flesh. Did I just think "LOVE"??? This was it, no more waiting and no turning back. He glanced around and our eyes met.

He stopped and stared at me before the most amazing smile spread across his very kissable looking lips. He dropped his bags on the floor and opened his arms. In no time at all I was across the room and in his waiting arms. How did I get there? Did I float did I run? I don't remember but it doesn't matter.

"You are a breath of sunshine," he said to me.

I looked up at him and smiled. I was not sure if I could speak yet but I took a deep breath and replied...

"And you...are still giving me butterflies."

His laughter was so rich and warm. His hazel eyes sparkled with life and light. I could get lost in those eyes. He reached down and took my hand in his picked up his bags and I led him toward Suzanne. As I introduced them, he offered her the rose.

"Suzanne this is Keith, Keith...Suzanne." I could barely make the words come out.

"For your friendship to Linda and for helping make today possible," he said as he extended the rose to her.

We were both stunned...handsome and a complete gentleman. I knew I had better watch out or I would quickly be seduced by this charmer. I could already see the approval in Suzanne's eyes. She had given him the once over already and was slowly sliding her gaze up and down his length. She looked at me and winked. I knew what that meant we have this unspoken language between us. Noting her approval of this hottie holding my handI just grinned. I was on top of the world. I felt as if I was floating on a cloud and it was the most incredible feeling in the world.

"I could really use a shower," he said as we walked out to the car.

"No problem, we can take you to your hotel and wait while you get ready."

We reached the car and Suzanne said, "Go ahead and sit in back, let me be your chauffeur."

I could have hugged her. All I wanted to do was have him put his strong arms around me and pull me close. Riding in the backseat made that possible. We rode in almost complete silence. He and I were intent on just being close inhaling each other's scents as if memorizing the moment at hand. At one point while just looking into each other's eyes he bent forward and kissed me lightly on the forehead. I swear there's a burn mark there from the intense heat that flashed through me.

We pulled up to the hotel and got out. As he checked in Suzanne pulled me off to the side.

"Hot damn girl! He's so incredibly hot! And did you see that ass?"

I just laughed at her not wanting to take my eyes off of him. If this was a dream I didn't want it to end. I was afraid that if I stopped looking at him he would disappear.

"I know it," I replied..."he's just too good to be true."

At that instant he turned around and flashed us one of those breathtaking smiles and asked if we were ready to go up. I thought we would just hang out in the lobby or the hotel lounge and wait for him and I told him as much. His eyes just sparkled and he winked at me.

"Go up with him I can wait down here," Suzanne said to me.

I couldn't believe she was saying that! We had specifically talked about this on many occasions and I had told her that if I were alone with him I wouldn't be able to remain platonic in our relationship. Well that is if he were willing to take it further. Hell, I knew I'd fight to take it further.

What was I doing? What was I getting myself into here? My heart was pounding out of my chest and my knees felt weak just from looking into his amazing eyes. But he took my hand and led me to the elevator. We were alone when the doors shut and as if there were some magnetic force drawing us close we were in each other's arms and sharing a tender tentative kiss. His lips were so soft and tender his strong arms wrapped around me and his fingertips ran up and down my spine. He was sending electric currents through my entire body. If he didn't have his arms around me I would have surely collapsed to the floor. This kiss was unlike any I had ever experienced. Maybe it was due in part to all the sexual tension I was feeling but I knew I could stay locked onto his lips for a long time. His breath was sweet and his lips full and soft. His tongue slowly parted my lips and moved across mine. The butterflies returned with a vengeance. And all too soon the elevator doors opened and we tore ourselves from each other to be able to move down the hall to his room.

I hesitated about going inside with him. Here I was all alone with a man I had only spent time with over the Internet and an occasional phone call and we are both married! Where did that good girl in me go? You know the one who would never cross a line into uncharted territory. But the door to his room opened and I found that my feet had a will of their own as I crossed the threshold.

He turned and wrapped me into a crushing hug and his mouth sought out mine in a more demanding kiss, one that left me breathless. My back was against the wall, I could feel his hips pressing into mine. I could feel the heat rising between my legs and I felt my blood starting to boil. A frenzied passion and desire the likes of which I had never known was building deep within me. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck and opened my mouth fully to allow his tongue to dance with mine. All too quickly though he pulled away.

"I really should get that shower in so we can go," he said with huskiness in his voice.

"Yeah, I suppose you should."

"Care to join me?" he asked with a wink and a twinkle in his eyes.

I just giggled, slightly nervous and told him I would just wait for him.

He smiled that incredible smile grabbed his smaller bag and headed into the bathroom. I could hear the water running and began to imagine him undressing and stepping into the steamy shower. Oh how I longed to see his naked body to run my fingernails up and down his silken flesh.

The ache between my legs was growing with intensity and the fire was raging out of control. I can't lose it hereI tell myself. Be strong and remember that this is a friendship meeting nothing else.

The water turned off and I could hear him rustling around in the bathroom. It didn't take long before the door opened and he emerged. My breath caught in my throat as I realized that his chest was bare and he was sporting nothing but a towel. And those hotel towels don't leave much to the imagination. Not that I am complaining mind you but I was not prepared for this. I could only stare my eyes wide and my mouth agape. I must have looked incredulous.

"I left my clothes in my other bag," he explained.

"Oh," I stammered...I didn't know what to say or how to react. All I really knew was that if I just leaned forward a couple of inches only one small tug on that towel would leave him totally naked in front of me. The temptation was there truly there but I was proud of myself for not acting on that impulse.

He knew exactly what I was thinking. I could see it in his eyes. But he was a total gentleman and pretended as if he didn't notice the fire and desire in my eyes as he picked up his other bag and retreated to the bathroom once more. I was sitting on the bed and trying to calm my nerves, the butterflies inside would not go away. I almost wished that Suzanne wasn't downstairs in the lounge waiting for us. I would have liked to tell him to forget about dinner for now and just come join me on his bed. But even as the thought crossed my mind I felt my face flush and felt the guilt that I kept buried. If anyone ever found out about this my life as I knew it would be over.

The door opened again and he emerged wearing khakis and a jade green shirt. His eyes reflected the color of the shirt and turned from hazel to an almost emerald green. Whatever it is that he was wearing smelled so nice and I could feel that rush through my veins again.

"Shall we go down now?" he asked.

"I suppose we better."

I am sure he saw the wistfulness in my eyes and heard my the wantondesire dripping in my voice. But again he was every bit the gentleman and just took my hand in his and we walked out the door. The elevator was a little crowded on the way down so we just continued to steal glances at each other and every once in a while he squeezed my hand.

We emerged from the elevator and walked toward the lounge. I don't know what I was worried about there sat Suzanne amid 4 other guys. She was certainly not bored and hadn't had to buy one drink yet. She glanced up and saw us coming and grinned when she saw we were still holding hands.

We sat down for a bit as introductions were made and he ordered a glass of red wine for the both of us. I have never had anyone order for me before and that simple gesture made my heart flip. Casual conversation was easy and every once in a while he would put his hand on my knee or my thigh under the table. I wonder if he had any idea what he was truly doing to me. I'm sure he did know how could he not? But I managed to get through my glass of wine without spilling any or choking on any as hard as it was for me to breathe when he touched me.

We said our goodbyes to Suzanne's new-found friends and she asked if we minded if she brought one of them along with us for the night so she didn't feel like such a 3rd wheel. Keith quickly assured her that it was fine and she turned to the man sitting next to her and asked if he would like to go out for dinner and dancing with us. His eyes lit up as he graciously accepted the offer and we all went out to load into the car.

We had decided on a nice Italian meal as it is one of my all time favorites and I felt almost regal walking in on the arm of someone so devastatingly handsome. Something about the way he carried himself made everyone stop and take notice. I was on top of the world and he seemed as if he only had eyes for me.

Our hostess a perky little brunette with electric blue eyes made no mistake to let him know she was interested. Her flirting was downright embarrassing. But he just nodded to her and turned his attention back to me. I wanted to laugh at her but being a lady I just smiled sweetly and turned my attention to the menu. Our waiter thank god it wasn't another silly girl looking for attention came to take our drink orders and we all decided on wine so Keith ordered a bottle. The general consensus was that we would order an appetizer and then wait a while before ordering our meal. We had plenty of time and just wanted to get to know each other a little better. We ordered a spinach artichoke dip and settled in for some great conversation. We laughed a lot and really had an enjoyable time. When we finally ordered we felt as if we had all been friends for a very long time.

Our meal was superb. It was even better because every once in a while I would catch Keith glancing at me and we would share a quick smile the light in our eyes seeming to dance with one another. I couldn't wait to get to the club so we really could dance. Ever since our first emails and talking on the phone of being in each other's arms, I have been looking forward to the real thing. Suzanne and John seemed to be getting along quite well. He was handsome and seemed to genuinely like her. I watched them like a hawk though she's been through so much and I swore if another man hurt her I would tear their nuts off with my bare hands. I think he got the picture by my glances and warning looks.

We finished our meal and Suzanne and I could barely contain our excitement about going dancing. Keith and I walked hand in hand through the restaurant and out to the car. And there under the full moon and a star filled sky we shared the most passionate kiss I have ever experienced in my entire life. Truly it took my breath away.

I felt as if I was floating on a cloud, I certainly couldn't feel my feet on the earth beneath me as he helped me into the back seat and settled in with his arms tightly around me. We spent the entire drive to the club kissing and exploring each other's mouths and tongues. All too soon the car stopped and it was time to get out. I couldn't wait to get him out on the dance floor to feel his body molded to mine.

We went inside and found a corner booth and slid inside. Drink orders were placed and "Save A HorseRide A Cowboy" started. Suzanne and I love that song so we excused ourselves and went out to the dance floor. I was stealing glances at Keith and as much as he was trying to carry on a conversation with John he was certainly more interested in watching me dance. And that is okay with me I love to dance seductively and flirty so I made sure he was well aware of my intentions.

I went up to the dj and requested a song to be played for Keith & I and he actually had it! The music started as I walked back toward the table and I saw a slow smile spread across his face as he took my hand and pulled me close. We danced as if we were made to be close to the song "Fresh Feeling". As the song ended he tightened his grip on my waist and pulled me in for another mind-blowing kiss. I could have melted right then and there. We danced a lot more slow songs and Suzanne and I danced many more fast songs. I love getting wild when I dance and always have such a good time when there's music. But it was getting really late and we decided to go back to the hotel.

When we got back to the hotel the plan was to go to the lounge as they were having karaoke. I am also a sucker for karaoke so we went and I sang a few songs but then John asked Suzanne if she would stay the night with him. My heart leapt into my throat. She was my ride home! I couldn't afford a room of my own and I hadn't been asked to spend the night with Keith! Besides I was not sure I was ready for that. Ok yes I was - I wanted it more than anything in the world. But she didn't even hesitate before saying yes to him and saying goodnight to us as they left the lounge. She tends to get a little oversexed when she's been drinking. I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights because Keith just squeezed my hand.