He had been dreading this conversation for a while now. It was atypical for him to be so forthcoming with a student, but in this case he feared that she could not or would not take a hint. Intervention was necessary.
He adjusted his chair nervously and checked his hair in his computer monitor. It was stylishly slicked back with a single strand perfectly out of place. He sighed and looked at the clock. It was 11:55. She was supposed to meet her at noon, but an eager student, she would likely roll into his office at any second. He picked up a book to look occupied and waited.
She was looking forward to her meeting with Dr. Cook. She was just one draft away from completing her grad school personal statement and wanted it to be over with. She also wanted to see him. He was about her father's age, but had a more youthful energy - not to mention that he was the only professor in the department that cared at all about his appearance. She suspected he might be a little vain, but that only added to the appeal.
She had a boyfriend, so she just saw her attraction to Dr. Cook as a harmless crush. Normal. Nothing unprecedented about it. Plus, he was a married man and she never really attended to her looks. Her classes were filled with svelte and glamorous undergrads. She believed she was at no risk of veering into inappropriate temptress territory.
"Dr. Cook!"
He looked up from the book into which he had been blankly staring and saw her. She was smiling, sweaty from her walk to the office, and wearing a black tee shirt. Her glasses sat crooked on her face and stray red hairs were plastered to her temples from the Dallas humidity.
"Ah, Sylvia, good to see you! Please have a seat."
She sat and adjusted her glasses as she immediately jumped into talking about her paper.
"So I finally figured out my introduction and conclusion. I think this might be the one we can work with. It was ridiculous trying to write this thing, I swear I talk about myself all the time and now that I have to write it down it makes me realize how ridiculous and probably incoherent I sound. It's absurd that we're expected to write these things, right? Why can't I just -"
"Sylvia, I'll take a look at your statement, but that's not what I want to talk to you about today," he interjected. She gave him a quizzical look, knocking her glasses out of place again. She reached up to adjust them and he averted his gaze.
"Sylvia, I think that it would be best, moving forward, if I were to stop advising you and if you didn't register for a class with me next semester."
"Um, what? Why? Did I do something wrong Dr. Cook?" She had a look of worry etched onto her face that was breaking into a frown, "Is everything okay?"
"No. You didn't do anything wrong, I just think that it's best if we don't work together because I am afraid that our working relationship may be entering inappropriate territory due to your attraction to me," he said, breaking eye contact.
She sat awestruck in her chair for a moment. She frowned, then gave him a confused look, then broke into a giant grin and began to laugh.
It was now his turn to be awestruck. Was this student laughing at him? Sylvia was certainly one of his best and most respectful students and this was not the reaction he was expecting.
She stopped laughing and finally said, "Dr. Cook, I seriously have no idea what to say to that. You don't want to work with me because you think I'm attracted to you? Have I been making you feel uncomfortable?"
"Well, a little bit I suppose, yes. You're always looking at me-"
"During lectures, yes."
"- and coming into my office-"
"Sure, because you're advising me."
"- and frankly, Sylvia, I have lived long enough to understand when someone is lusting after me. It's not your fault and I don't want to punish you for it, but it's not something I am equipped to handle right now."
He looked away. He was starting to feel ridiculous for bringing it up in the first place. Initially he didn't want to embarrass her, but now he was afraid he had embarrassed himself. This was not going well.
"Dr. Cook, you're not entirely off base here," she began, causing him to look up in relief, "but I think that you should know that I am at a point in my life where I think almost everyone is hot. Last semester I briefly lusted after Dr. Lopez and he's like 80 years old. Also I'm 22. I would be hard pressed to think of a time in the last month when I was not actively horny. So have I felt attraction towards you? Sure, but we've all seen adult videos.I think that you just happen to have a very pornographic job and I am a cliche. I assure you it is nothing out of the ordinary. Plus I really appreciate all of the help you've been giving me and I would hate for that to end."
He sat in stunned silence, feeling slightly aroused by her speech. She was always so candid about everything but he was not expecting that to translate to such an uncomfortable conversation.
She continued, "Look, I'm really sorry that I have been making you feel uncomfortable. I really thought that there was nothing to this and you wouldn't notice or care. Honestly, I just assumed that it was a professional hazard for hot young professors and that it wouldn't phase you at all. I can leave now if you want me to."
She stood up and felt a flush rising up in her chest. Her lust was discovered and she was trying to play cool but her body felt like it was about to burn up. She covered her ears with her hair so that he wouldn't notice their bright red color.
He lifted his hand, "Hold on, Sylvia, you don't have to leave just yet. I can look at your paper before you go." He wanted to stand up, to go to her, to do something. She looked so embarrassed and there was nothing worse than turning away a talented and excited student. He was unfortunately impaired by the mixture of a semi-hard and gray slacks, so he remained seated and turned his attention to his computer screen to spare her his gaze while she was so obviously uncomfortable.
She sat back down and stared out his window, completely unsure of what to do with herself or what to say while he pulled up her email.
They discussed her statement and he promised to send her line edits in the next couple of days.
She began to get up to leave, but sat back down and stared at him for a moment. She didn't know how to handle the situation, but didn't want to leave it how it stood.
He looked at her expression. It was one of deep concentration - her brows furrowed and her mouth slightly open as if to say something. He wanted to help her, lead the conversation, but he was also at a loss.
"So this is it, I guess?" She finally said, "It's been wonderful working with you and I want you to know how thankful I am for all of your help. Again, I am so sorry that things are...this way."
"Did you mean it?" He asked, "do you think I'm hot?"
She was taken aback. Apparently her assessment of his vanity was entirely correct, but she was not expecting the words, "do you think I'm hot" to come out of the mouth of a grown man. She wanted to be vague because she wasn't interested in losing their professional relationship, but she also knew that stroking his ego might be the trick to bring him around.
"Well, yeah. I mean, you're in shape, well groomed, have a nice style, and also you're an adult man who teaches me things that I'm interested in. Also you've been really nice to me and helped me a lot so, yeah. My attraction is not solely based on your looks, but you're good looking."
He was, again, shocked by her candor and he felt himself begin to blush too. He had never experienced such forthcomingness from any woman before.
"Well," he said, "You being my favorite student isn't solely based on your work ethic and interest in medieval history."
"Oh?" She said.
"It also has to do with my attraction for you. You're very good looking, Sylvia, and you know your stuff."
"Dr. Cook, stop I'll blush."
"I mean it, Sylvia! If I only have one student that comes to my office hours and asks me for help and advisement, it's a miracle that she's also cute and so earnest." The earnesty was key for him. He loved the way she seemed to hang on to his every last word.
"So...what do we do about this," she asked. "Do we stop working together, for real? That would be a huge bummer."
"Sylvia, I have a wife, and you live with your boyfriend. I don't think that, especially after today, it is wise for us to spend any time together except for in class for the remainder of the semester."
"You're probably right, Dr. Cook..." she stood up again, but so did he.
"Today isn't over yet, Sylvia," he reached across the desk to grab her hand, "my next class isn't until three." His eyes darted to the door.
She dropped his hand and turned away. He was afraid that he had pushed too far. He looked out the window but instead of hearing the door swing open and slam shut, he heard the quiet click of the lock. She turned around to face him.