I sat there beside him on the couch, knowing I should leave. I'd been there for a half an hour. It was a little tense at first, but he was in a good mood, as usual and we laughed and talked and he had persuaded me to move from the luv-seat to the spot beside him on the couch. I knew I wanted things to be the way they were just months before, but there was no way to go back to that. Everything was different.
"You should take that sweater off and stay a while," He said as he lifted his bourbon and took a sip. He chased it with a drink of coke, and lifted the glass of bourbon toward me "Have a drink with me?" He offered and I shook my head, smiling politely. I lifted my bottle of water and grinned. He tipped his glass to me and took another sip.
"Thank you, but no thank you," I said. "I can't stay long." I watched a flicker of panic, then he relaxed. I'd seen that before, I also knew my "I can't stay long" from the past usually ended up with me leaving in the wee hours of the morning, with my panties in my pocket and my bra in my purse.
"Tell me about that house you were looking at, on Girard?" He asked and put his arm around me. I relaxed into him and spoke freely. I had already told him the basics about the house through texts, but in person, with the scent of him, and the feel of him, and the air about him close to me, I was completely at ease to elaborate.
We immersed in conversation about this house and the property and his former home, which he lost to foreclosure when he was laid off and behind on child support, and my options to remodel. He made promises to help with this thing or that thing. His first offer was to bring the fence he didn't need from his back yard and get his son to help set posts, so he could put up something for the dogs. I only had one dog. I knew he meant this for him to bring his dogs to my house to visit.
His eyes softened every time I smiled widely. I saw this almost amazement every now and then where he looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He seemed to get lost in my eyes just as much as I had been his. He brushed a stray hair from my face and reached to hold my hand that was fidgeting with a button. He started off by lifting that hand to kiss it, then leaned in a little closer. My voice had dropped a few octaves and he had scooted so that our faces were closer together.
"My God you smell amazing," He said for the third time in an hour and a half.
"Thank you," I said softly.
"Your hair has gotten longer," He said and reached to caress it.
"A little," I said and smiled at him. He melted again and then before I knew it, he was kissing me. I resisted for only a moment and then gave in. His lips were tender; almost timid at first. I knew he was waiting on me to resist, and I did a little at first but he didn't stop. I had tried to pull my head away, but he moved his hand to my cheek and brushed his thumb over my cheekbone. He wrapped his other arm around me and held me close.
"I have missed you so much," He said softly between kisses. I was breathing heavy. He shifted his weight a little onto me, and I put a hand on his chest in protest. He kissed me deeper and I gave in completely. Before long, he had his hands behind my hips and pulled my body toward him, so that he could lay me back. There were blankets on the end of the sofa, and I was propped up on them. He ground himself against me, kissing me harder now. I tried to push him away. I tried to tell him no, this was too much, but he was overpowering me. I didn't want him to stop at the same time I knew I needed him to.
