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As I got home and walked in the kitchen Friday night, I admired my wife Alyssa's beautiful green eyes and curly dark hair. I sadly asked, "I'm guessing you want me to divorce you?"
She lit one of her long, slim menthol cigarettes. Seeing her suck on something usually shrank my shorts, but I was too sad at the moment. She exhaled a stream of smoke. "I ... I'm not sure. But I'm not happy anymore, Jason. I don't think you are either, right?"
As I saw our four nearly new vehicles out the window and glanced at the half-dozen expensive rings on her fingers I knew the answer, but still thought I should ask. "Is there anything I can buy you to make you happy?"
"No, we have so much already. More than I ever hoped for, before I met you."
"I know you're sad we can't have a baby but we could adopt. Do you think getting a kid or two would help?"
"I ... I always wanted to be a Mom. Maybe but that's not the main thing."
"Well, are you in love with somebody else?"
"NO! I WOULD NEVER! ARE YOU?"
"Of course not! I still love you! So, is it sex? I've been missing sex a lot lately. Once or twice a week isn't nearly enough."
She said, "I know you want it every night, but two or three times a week would be good for me. It was so much better when we were dating. I miss the great times we had kissing, holding each other, and doing lots of oral. Lately you just want to screw and go to sleep! If we do it every day, it makes me feel cheap and sleazy, like sex is the only reason you keep me around. I miss cuddling and talking for hours. I miss playing with each other's hair and bodies."
I admitted, "For the first few months we dated, sex actually was the main thing that mattered to me, but it's been ten years. I really do love you. All of you."
She blushed as she put the cigarette out and admitted, "I love you too, but I miss you kissing my kitty SO MUCH! I was always happy to suck you off if you'd do the same for me."
"I know we used to, but usually I'm so tired after work I just want to skip to the best part."
She had a tear at the corner of her eye. "For me, what you skip IS the best part! It's like you don't give a crap whether I'm happy or not anymore! I think ... I think you should see a lawyer and get it started."
I said, "There's no way I'm filing for divorce. I think we can work this out. I can't lose you."
"I'm not so sure."
"You know if YOU start the divorce our prenup says you only get half a million, one vehicle, and the vacation house up north. If you want to leave me that badly ..."
"I ... I don't know. Let's just go to sleep and talk about it tomorrow."
"Okay. I'll be in the guest room."
"Jason, please come to bed. Just hold me? Please?"
I knew that touching her in bed would only aggravate my blue balls, but my conscience wouldn't let me leave her alone when she was upset.
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The warm sunlight coming through the window woke me in the morning. I had a hand on one of Alyssa's nicely firm 'D' cups, my nose in the long hair at the back of her neck, and my 'morning wood' wedged between her firm thighs.
I kissed her ear lobe and whispered, "You're still so beautiful. I love you."
She sleepily mumbled, "Cigarette." She lit up, and I played with her breast as she took a few puffs. My dick was rock-hard and demanded attention. I squeezed her boob and rocked my hips, sliding my cock back and forth between her legs. She smiled until she saw the clock. "It's 8:45! Why didn't you set the alarm! I'm supposed to meet Jan at nine!" She jumped out of bed and dressed quickly, spoiling my fun.
"Tell Jan it's an emergency. Your husband is dying of pussy deficiency."
She didn't laugh. She didn't even giggle. She picked up her purse. "Jan needs help setting up for her cousin Shelly's wedding. We'll talk tonight."
Her keys jingled as she grabbed them on the way out.
Yet again, I was forced to relieve my sexual tension alone in the shower. Since it was Saturday and I had nothing planned, I decided to take my boat out and do some fishing. I called a few buddies and picked up Dave, John, and Terry on the way to the lake. I was glad I had bought a super cab instead of a 2-seater.
As usual, no fish were caught. Instead, several cigars were smoked, a 12-pack of beer was consumed, and much bullshit was listened to.
I discovered a possible solution to my marital problems with help from the last person I expected, my crass and half-crazy pal Dave. "My brother Dan was alone after his divorce last year. He went on a 'sugar' website and picked the girl he wanted. She's hot and only 22! There are hundreds of 'em, pretty young women that need money for rent, or cars, or school. He's so lucky! He gives his 'sugar baby' what she needs, and a girl half his age screws the ugly old fart."
Terry asked, "Aren't you and Dan identical twins?"
"Yup."
We laughed so hard John dropped his beer. Dave pointed at him and yelled, "Alcohol abuse!" We laughed even more.
I asked a serious question, for a change. "Isn't that illegal? Paying a girl for sex, like picking up a hooker?"
"No, it's legit. It's just a boyfriend giving his girlfriend some help. It's not like 'Give me a blowjob for a hundred', or anything. She's his girlfriend, sort of. They go on dates and she sleeps over sometimes. It's not really love, but they're good to each other. He gave her a car for her birthday and she started deep-throating him every day."
We told tall tales and joked around the rest of the afternoon, but the 'sugar baby' idea stuck in my mind.
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When I got home the house was empty. I had another beer as I looked online. I found the site Dave had talked about and was astounded. There were dozens of girls in town and another hundred within driving distance looking for a 'sugar daddy'. Many of them were attractive college students.
I didn't want Alyssa to leave me, but if she did I wanted a cute young 'sugar baby'. Or maybe even two of them. I could easily afford it. Hell, maybe I'd go nuts and get three or four! Sex twice a day! Maybe even two girls at a time!
I felt a surge of guilt as I heard a car park in the driveway. I shut down the laptop and started ordering Chinese food on my cell. It was my turn to 'cook' again.
As she walked in Alyssa said, "Add a sweet and sour chicken for Shelly."
I asked, "How did you know I was ordering Chinese?"
"It's supper time. It's always Chinese on Saturday, Thursday is pizza, and Tuesday is either burgers or tacos."
"I'm really ..."
She smiled and interrupted me. "Yes, you're that predictable. That's part of what I love about you. You're reliable, like a rock. But Shelly needs consoling tonight. Her fiancée called it off." She opened a bottle of wine and poured three glasses.
"Uh ... wasn't Shelly the one who ..."
As we heard Shelly stagger out of the bathroom, Alyssa quickly nodded and held a finger in front of her mouth. "Shhh."
It was easy to tell Shelly already had a few and then at least a few more. "'Lissa, you sho lucky. HIC! A hot one married you, and you HIC! you shtill so purdy. I had a great one and now he'sh gone! GONE! Awhahaha!" I finished the food order as Alyssa hugged her and calmed her down.
Shelly drunkenly mumbled something about smoking and took a pack of cigarettes out of her purse upside down. Most of them fell on the floor. She put the last one from the pack in her mouth. She had extreme difficulty lighting it, due to her holding the lighter backwards. Alyssa said, "Let me." She put two cigarettes in her mouth and lit them, then handed Shelly one. I felt a movement in my pants at the sight, then lost interest when they started talking about the flower arrangements they had gotten for the cancelled wedding.
I checked my work email and re-read some old ones as the girls talked quite a while. The doorbell rang and I met the delivery guy on the front steps. The girls were gone when I returned. I put the food on the table and searched the house. I found Alyssa tucking an unconscious Shelly into bed in the guest room. We talked as we ate in the kitchen. She said, "Poor girl. I feel so bad for her."
"She's the one you made out with in college?"
"Yeah. It was so strange! I liked it a lot, but didn't like that I liked it. It felt good, but I was worried about what my other friends would think. Thank God she was too high to remember that night!"
We watched a movie as we ate. Afterward I mused aloud, "I know Shelly is way too drunk tonight, but some other time would you like to, uh ... maybe ...?"
"No! No way! Shelly might be fun for a little while, but when she drinks she's a blabbermouth. I hang out with her and her friends sometimes, but that's all. Most of them are alcoholic gossips. If I wasn't home alone so much ..."
"Well, do you think maybe, if we find the right woman ..."
"You mean we pick up a girl at a club or a bar, and bring her home with us?"
"I'm not sure what I mean. What do you think?"
She hesitated a long time. "I'd like to try it, if it won't wreck things for us. But if you fall in love with another woman ... I'm afraid."
"I'm afraid too. I don't want to lose you either, but we need to do SOMETHING different."
She sighed. "I know. But I don't want to be with some random skank who screws a bunch of people. Or a fickle one who'll get us to love her, then run off. Or one like Shelly, who'd sleep with us then tell everybody in town."
"I agree, we don't want diseases or broken hearts. Or a big scandal."
She asked the key question, "How can we find a safe girl, who'll stay with us if we like her?"
I had an idea but said, "I don't know. Let's go to bed."
I felt a stiffening in my groin as she held my hand and said, "Let's go watch some porn and try to figure it out." I started a movie and crawled in bed, just as we heard a wet, disgusting noise from the guest room. Both of us exclaimed, "NO!"
The bottle on the nightstand indicated that on top of what Shelly already drank, she had woken up and added a third of a bottle of vodka. She didn't spill it, but she'd thrown up and peed herself.
Alyssa got Shelly into clean clothes, and I changed the bed. When the cleanup was over and Shelly passed out again, I asked, "I hope you're not inviting her over here again?"
"NO! Nope! No way!"
I turned the porno off and we fell asleep back-to-back. Thankfully, Shelly had gone home before we woke up.
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