I hear your glorious laugh. "I hope it all fits in the SUV."
"Wait." I tell you before you get up and leave.
"What?"
"Well, I've kind of got three kinks of my own I'd like to share, one of which I'm hoping you can indulge me in at the store."
"OK. Let's hear."
"Well, I'd like you to wax yourself."
"You mean, down there?"
"Yes. But more to it, I have a serious kink about pubic hair, and I was hoping you'd style it for me. Either a landing strip, a line, or something else. I don't know. Just something. I really, really, really love this."
"I've never even trimmed down there."
"I guessed. I knew this was a big ask. It's OK to say no, remember? I just thought I'd ask."
"No, it's OK. I've seen how all the models in the lingerie pics I like are bald. Well, there are a few with some small amount of hair, I guess. That's what makes you hot?"
"Yes. Surprise me if you can."
I hear you let out a breath. "OK. I'll try. How can I say no? I've never tried it, and if I'm wearing sexy undies, I really don't want to be rocking the tomato patch, as you call it, right?"
"I think it'll be life changing for you. Wait until you see how sensitive you are with no hair."
"OK. I'll see if I can make it happen. What are the others?"
"Well, first, I love oral sex, both giving, and well, from you, receiving."
"I guess you've noticed I don't have almost any experience with blow jobs."
"Yeah. I was hoping I could talk you into learning."
"I'm kind of embarrassed. I guess it's that shame haunting me again. I really need to push that out of my system. Yeah, I'll give you oral sex. Just please be patient with me while I learn how."
"Of course. Thank you."
"I am really out of my comfort zone now. I'm changing my wardrobe, I'm going to start wearing heels, and now I'm going to become a blow job enthusiast. Crazy. Wait. That's two. What's the third."
I exhale. "This is the maybe the biggest one for you. I have a kink where I want to come one your face, and preferably, in your mouth."
You're silent for a long minute. "I've never done that, not ever."
"I want you to suck me until I explode in your mouth, then I want you to open your mouth, and show it to me on your tongue, swallow it, then lick your lips."
"Holy shit."
"Yep. Told you it was big."
"I... don't know. But, you know what? If I'm going to lean into the succubus thing, that's how they like to take their male victim's fluids. And I've never done it before. Like you told me earlier, it repulses me on the surface, but I've never even done it, and it obviously makes you happy, so why am I even thinking about it? I have to try. The new me needs to try it. We can always revisit this stuff after I try it, right?"
"Of course. If you don't like something, you never have to do it again. But the point is, you'll actually know you don't like it, rather than just guessing."
"You know the first time we had sex in that pod?"
"Yeah?"
"I tasted myself on your face, and thought I'd be disgusted, and I actually liked it to the point I haven't stopped thinking about it."
"Holy shit, baby. Really? That is super hot to me."
"Really. You like that?"
"Uh, I'm hard as a rock right now."
I feel you grab me again. "Told you."
"I'm nervous about all this."
"You mean the shopping?"
"Yeah."
"Here's what you need to do. You know how actors will do method acting to become someone? Just do that today. Just slip into your succubus persona, and let her talk to the salespeople. When they ask you a question that might make Suz the librarian run and hide, Suz the succubus is brazen and honest. 'Are you buying these G-strings to wear for your husband?' 'Yeah, seeing my ass in them makes him hard as steel.' That sort of thing. Better yet, do you really think a succubus feels shame or embarrassment for anything sexual?"
"Just... become a different person."
"Imagine you're a super hero, and you're switching to that persona. You have powers, confidence! Plus, no one knows or cares who you are. I'm going to blow your mind here, but let's make a bet. When you get back, you're going to tell me you not only had fun, you a great time."
"I'll take that bet."
"What do you have to lose? You do this, and have fun, win. You do this, and hate it, you learn a lot about yourself and grow in that way. Still a win, I think. Let your fake personality be your armor. Shame? Embarrassment? They have no power over you. Let your confidence be your armor, and remember, 'Fear is the mind killer.'"
I hear you exhale. "You're right. I hate it, but you're right. I need this."
"Promise I'll make it worth your while. And, remember, if you have a good time, imagine how that will make you feel inside. Imagine your self image then."
"I love you so much."
"Love you too. Now get going. I cannot wait for you to get back."
Four and a half crazy hard hours later, I hear the garage door opening. You walk in, a smile on your face.
"Well? Please tell me you had a good time."
"I did not have a good time. I had possibly the best day of my life!"
"Really?"
"Help me carry all my loot into the closet, and no peeking! I really want to tell you all about it. I had two really crazy things happen."
After carrying 14 bags worth of loot (yikes!) into the closet, we sat down on the bed, and you start telling me how it went.
"First, I went to that Euro Wax place. I go in, and no appointments available. The woman behind the counter tells me she's the owner, and she's sorry. I tell her, 'I'll give you $500 cash to get me in right now.' Her eyes lit up, and she's like, 'Let's do this.' By the way, hope you don't mind me spending our retirement?"
"Uh, I think I'm going to consider all the money you spent today the single greatest financial investment I've ever made." I laugh.
"Anyway, we go back to the room, and we're talking she asks me what I want, and I'm like, take it all off, and she's like, what do you want in your pubic area, and I told her, what are my options, and she told me, bare, strip or other. And I started asking about other, and she gets this smile, and she tells me that generally it's for people going to swinger parties or strippers, you know, people who like to show it off. And I really leaned into staying in character, because inside, I was dying, but I told her 'I want to show it off.' And she got really excited and asked me if I had something in mind, and I asked her back if she could help me. She says, I've got a heart. Want to see?"
"She asked you to see? Wow."
"Yeah. I said, Hell yes I want to see, so she just whips her yoga tights down, no undies, by the way, and there it is. And I instantly saw what you see in this. I told her I loved it, but wanted something else. She goes, let's get you naked, and I'll think while I work."
"How was it?"
"I thought it would hurt more than it did. There must have been a numbing agent in the wax or something. It was maybe a 5/10 on the pain scale. Not pleasant, but legs are going to be amazing for 6 weeks, so big win. Anyhow, she's looking at me, and goes, 'Damn, I wish I had your body.' I couldn't believe it. 'What? I hate my body.' And sorry, just blurted it out. She then tells me 'Are you crazy? You've got fantastic tits, and the literally the best ass I've ever seen in here, and I see a lot of asses. I'm super glad my boyfriend is down the hall working, because no way he sees you. That perv would be hitting on you instantly.'"