"Salomon, I haven't seen you at church in a long time," Sister Rosie, a curvy, dark-skinned, well-dressed, fifty-something Haitian lady said to me, as I stood guard at the door of Walmart located in the western tier of metropolitan Ottawa, Ontario. I smiled at her and tried to reply as politely as I could, since I was at work and have to keep up my customer service skills.
"That's because I'm now a Muslim," I replied, and Sister Rosie looked at me as though I had just confessed to being one of the Devil's henchmen. Years ago, I attended a certain Haitian Adventist church faithfully, until I began to realize that it just wasn't for me. Besides, I used to like a certain Haitian gal named Esther who is like a pillar of that church. Things didn't work out, and she got everyone to hate my guts. Another reason why I left...
"Oh no, I cannot believe that," Sister Rosie said, and I cringed, wishing she'd have her meltdown someplace else. I'm a big and tall young black man with dreads working security at a big-box store. I cannot afford to attract attention, at least not the sort that Sister Rosie and her dramatic self can bring. I just want to show up, sign in, get the job done and get paid. That's it. Say no to church lady histrionics!
"Sister Rosie, I have to focus on customers, I'm sorry," I said as politely as I could, and I stopped a big white lady who was exiting with a television set. Big items like that we have to check their receipts. I politely handed the receipt back to the lady, and focused on the flow of traffic exiting the store. We're close to the Christmas holiday, so there's an increase in shopping. More fun for people in my profession...
Sister Rosie looked at me and shook her head, then went about shopping. Nice bum, I thought to myself as I admired her thick, round derriere. I've always had a thing for older black women with big round bums. It led me into a dalliance with a tall, gorgeous older Somali Muslim lady named Zainab, who works as part of the cleaning crew at Canada's Capital University. Zainab the Somali MILF. We had some wonderful times, Zainab and I. Seriously, folks, mature Somali booty is to die for!
"Salomon Vaillant, my handsome brother, we need to talk, I'm not trying to change your religion, I just want to get to the bottom of what happened," Sister Rosie said, as she paused at the exit. I smiled at her and nodded. Whatever it takes to get rid of her. Much to my surprise, she beeped as she exited, and I felt bad. I had to check her but I didn't want to. So I glanced at her shopping bags...and smiled when I saw what was beeping. Condoms. Oh my. I guess Haitian church ladies need to get some too. I smilingly sent Sister Rosie on her way, and then focused on work.
When I went home that night, dog-tired after standing on my feet for eight hours, I thought of the events of the day. Old white folks yelling at me, the young black man in the security uniform, for holding them accountable to the same rules as everyone else while exiting the store. Doesn't matter how polite I am with some customers, they're always rude and angry. What gives, man?