Tiffany and Jake walked into a hotel in Dublin, Ireland. They headed up to their rooms and Jake opened the door for Tiffany.
"Let's get something straight," said Tiffany, "I know you fucked my mom but I also know we're gonna be on this trip for a while so you better keep it in your pants cause I'm not climbing on it again."
"Sounds good," said Jake.
"Good," she said, "now drop your shit in your room and leave me alone I'm gonna take a nap."
Jake wandered the streets of Dublin for a while until he found a small bar on the outskirts of town with no one in it. He went in and took a seat at the bar.
"What can I get ya darlin?" asked the short stocky red head behind the bar.
"Guinness," said Jake, "and what's good to eat here?"
"American?" asked the girl, "don't get many tourists down this side a town."
"Whys that?" asked Jake.
"Cause it's a shit hole," said the girl, "I'll have the cook fix you something nice."
A little while later the girl came out with his drink and food," thanks," said Jake as he dug in.
"So ya here ta see the sights?" asked the girl.
"Yea," said Jake, "kind of an unguided tour my friend and I are taking."
"A girl?" asked the girl, "do ya love her?"
"No," said Jake, "not like that anyway."
"Good then it won't hurt to flirt with ya a bit," said the girl as she hopped up on the stool next to Jake.
"Well don't get too attached," said Jake, "I leave town in three days."
"Who said anything about gettin' attached," said the girl, "names Darla."
"Nice to meet you," said Jake, "I'm Jake."
Jake examined Darla, she's barely 5'5" and is wearing jeans that show off her thick muscular legs and a tight plaid shirt that's struggling to restrain what Jake can only imagine to be very large breasts.
"So what brings you to Dublin?" asked Jake, "born and raised?"
"Nah," said Darla, "worked a small farm with me Da til he married that wench so I came here looking for work."
"You like bar tending," asked Jake.
"I do when there are customers," says Darla as she looks around the empty bar, "so never really."
"I'm surprised," said Jake, "if people could see the view in here you'd get more customers," he said as he looked Darla up and down.