Split Tree Resort Remodeled 03

Split Tree Resort Remodeled 03

[It's a bustling late morning all around the Split Tree Resort as they prepare for the long Memorial Day weekend of events and guests, where we find the crazy kooky Coo-Coo filling in for Twiddle Dee again at the front desk and still talking to herself]

"Hmm, I'm getting the feeling that Twiddle Dee doesn't have faith in me because as I look around the front desk area, I mean, I'm literally surrounded by a sea wall of sticky notes instructions!"

[A cute little sub compact car pulls up into the resort's circle driveway and parks it]

"[Sorting out sticky notes] 73, 74, 75, 76, huh, 76 sticky notes and only room for 75, so, buh-bye #76, which says 'Coo-Coo, this is most important note, no adlibbing and stick to the script', but she forgot to sign it with her usual 'XOXO, TD', so [releases it to let it gently float into the trash can], it must not be that important because..."

[A pair of very sturdy clump, clumping boots approach the front desk]

"Well [gazes across the sea of sticky notes in utter amazement], this is a little unusual [ding, ding, ding] and a tad awkward, but I'm..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] oh, you snuck up on me, hello, I'm Coo-Coo and I'm usually Coo-Coo from the Coco counter in the Community Hut, but today I'm temporarily filling in at the front desk for Twiddle Dee again because she's up in Montana trying to steal bigger dead Dino bones to bury in our dead Dino valley to increase the resorts popularly. And just like how some girls and women get all tingly inside when they meet their true loves, I'm actually all tingly inside because I cut open the white packages of coco powder from my Coco counter in the Community Hut and eat the coco powder dry, mm-hmm! And I'm all tingly inside for three or four days in a row, so what, because the space agency hires me out to perform vibration tests on their toolbelt tools. Anyways, which sticky note shall I ignore to help you today, hmm?"

"Oh, I'll try to unpack all that, like never ever, but I'm military recruiter, Private Merri Merriweather, and I drove down to the resort one day early to check out what other activities the resort may have to offer because other than the middle of the afternoon hours behind the recruiting tables, I mean, I get my casual free time away from the stick in the mud, Corporal Corpse, I mean, Corporal Lilly Lewis, so?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm [reads a sticky note that clearly says 'Coo-Coo, stay out of the middle of things between guests and concentrate on your temporary job, XOXO, TD'], Private Merri, may I start with how you will probably do better in your own personal cabin away from Corporal Corpse to enjoy the freedom of your casual free time, hmm? Also, may I go ahead and check you in as the mysterious Misty Misti in cabin 17 for reasons that we will discuss later, hmm?"

"Oh, that's crazy kooky, but I do could a weekend as the mysterious Misty Misti persona, so, Coo-Coo, go all 'tap, tap, tap' and check me in as Misty Misti then."

"[Tap, tap, tap] welcome to the resort, Misty Misti. Now, for the weekend events that might interest a mysterious woman known as Misty Misti [grabs a sticky note that says 'Coo-Coo, never ever explain the activities to the guests in detail and leave them to wonder within themselves, XOXO, TD'], shall I go through the list of the weekend activities that are listed on the resort's lobby announcement letter board and thoroughly or generally explain each one, hmm?"

"Oh, now we're on the same page, Coo-Coo, so, please and don't leave out any details because now, I'm a mysterious military woman, known as Misty Misti, who has her free time and her own private cabin and recommended activities because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm [snatches yet another sticky note reads 'Coo-Coo, the visiting female military recruiting team are hero's and should be treated as such, so don't say anything about how the male staffers looked up the military brat's photo online and starting pitching tents, XOXO, TD'] but may I first say that our male staffers think you're quite the 'babe' and that you should be aware that you might be saluted many, many, many times this weekend, hmm?"

"Well, maybe I should have come down to the resort two days early then, but for now, let's run through the list of events."

[They both face the lobby's event announcement letter board]

"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm [reading from top to bottom], shall I just skip over the first event planned for tonight, Friday night, because I sense that the 'general guests meet and greet' event in the Community Hut, where I actually work, if I hadn't mentioned that, hasn't caught your military blue eye as much as the second event listed, so, confess, Misty Misti! [Well, it appears that Coo-Coo missed a sticky note that absolutely stated 'Coo-Coo, never ever challenge a paying guest for a confession, XOXO, TD'] confess!"

"[Private Merri, um, Misty Misti finger flicks a sticky note from behind her back] fine, Coo-Coo clock, I'll confess that I heard there was a 'throwback retro' photographer onsite this weekend that will be staging the questionable and risqué dirty story covers for the 1940's style smut story books, where the women are always skimpily dressed in lingerie and the photos have a grainy look about them, so what because with my body at 24, mm-hmm, I can pull that off! Besides, the male recruiters in the main recruiting office up in the big city might appreciate a change from my battle field camouflage fatigues wall poster, that they all suspiciously stay after hours to do what men do because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] our throwback retro photographer [reads another sticky note that says 'Coo-Coo, never give out personal info about guests, XOXO, TD'] and oil painter, Miss Livy Leviton, enjoying an extended stay in secluded cabin 9, prefers to refer to them as 'smug' old timey dirty story book covers more than 'smut' dirty story book covers and I'll schedule you for a smutty photo shoot [tap, tap, tap] tonight between 9pm and 10pm in the side banquet room of the Community Hut, which, if I haven't mentioned it, that's where I actually work, so?"

"OMG, yeah, Coo-Coo, you've actually mentioned that a few times now, you, kooky coo-coo bird. But listen, because, I mean, did you say that the up and coming and reclusive artist, Livy Leviton is here? Because I could do another hour with her because there are several standard throwback retro poses that should be captured since I'm here and all, so, how about a photo op appointment between 9pm and 11pm, hmm? I mean, I'll put in the time and the work, so?"

[When you're enjoying an extended stay at the resort, you use the lobby's side door more than you do the front door]

"{Gently waves] hey, Coo-Coo, don't mind me because I'm just dropping off my messy smocks to that Jibber Jabber girl in the laundry room to clean because..."

[Coo-Coo reaches under the front desk ledge and hands off the roll of 'OMG, shut it' duct tape to the elusive artist Livy Leviton, but it gets waved off this time]

"(Giggles) well, I've learned to just drop my messy smocks in the big beige basket just outside of the door and if I was a 'kiss & tell' kind of person, I might say that I've learned to drop my smocks for the peeping male staffers too while I'm painting in my cabin! Anyways, Coo-Coo bird, and this seems like a 'oh, by the way' moment [closes the gap up to the military brat babe] who is this and why isn't she scheduled for my throwback retro photo shoot tonight, hmm? [When you're enjoying an extended stay at the resort and you're also the elusive artist, Livy Leviton, you can just unzip the fancy olive drab green warmup suit to view your throwback retro model up close and personal]"

"Oh, I mean, I'm here for the weekend of military recruiting, but until then, hi, I'm Misty Misti and I've asked for an appointment tonight and I'm not too shy [wiggles her warmup jacket over her shoulders and kicks a leg through the open zippered leggings], so?"

"Well, well, well, with this body, I mean, Coo-Coo, I believe I've just found my mysterious woman in black for the midnight photo shoot that I just thought up. Just envision this, a mysterious woman in black sashays her way in a sultry manner towards the light pole next to the old timey phone booth up front of the resort, with her mind in a state of confusion because she's a 1950's retro spy, but the war's over and she still needs to make ends meet..."

[Coo-Coo reaches for another informative sticky note that clearly states without any confusion at all 'Coo-Coo, the entire antique world is going coo-coo and goo-goo crazy over our old timey phone booth under the light pole up front of the resort grounds because it's a such rare find given its excellent plus condition and they are offering boo-coo big bucks for it, so, keep everyone far, far, far away from it to prevent any damage, XOXO, TD']

"[Tap, tap, tap] I mean, Double L, is there a gentle breeze to accidently blow her black trench open to reveal her 4 piece spying lingerie ensemble only, as she leans back against the phone booth under the light pole with her left leg crooked back to balance herself against the fragile glass while wearing the highest of spiked heels, like in a leaning position that almost says 'take me from the front Game of Bones style and holding a cigarette and wearing her sun glasses at night, hmm, Livy Leviton?"

"Duh, it does now, Coo-Coo! Make it happen because you're my new innovator assistant! And, and, and, we'll probably need three or four male staffers, you know, to manhandle the cameras and fan the breezy revealing fans, so, Misty Misti, are you in or out, you know, since you're not shy and all, so?"

"I mean, I mean, um, I'm going to need a quick nap and um and a quick trim, so, I mean, Coo-Coo, we can finish going over the other planned activities, um, like tomorrow morning during the Continental Breakfast, right? Not that I'm bypassing the Saturday night Speed Dating event, so?"

[Again, Coo-Coo reaches for yet another sticky note and it reads 'Coo-Coo, I know already that you just skipped over sticky note #23, so, I repeat, mount the Speed Dating rule board that I made with paint in the Community Hut that says it's absolutely no fair of the women to pop a boob during the 5 minutes dating interview process, XOXO, TD']

"[Tap, tap, tap] um, it seems that we have plenty of time, Misty Misti, next!"

End Split Tree Resort Remodeled 03