(from the journal of Johnny Ecks)
Johnny Ecks is a financially-struggling sometime college student
in the Northeastern U.S. To make ends meet, he has been forced to take a variety
of minimum-wage jobs which have, bizarrely enough, brought him into contact with a number of beautiful women! In this excerpt from his journal, Johnny describes
his experiences as a package delivery person...
Wednesday, May 5
My first day at Global Package Service. Met some of my new co-workers. They all seem nice enough, although I should note that a couple of them score pretty high on the babeage scale - Sharon is a cute little blonde number with a great set of legs, and Joan is a brunette with a great rack. It's too early to tell what my chances might be with either of them though.
I spent most of the morning dropping off packages to various businesses downtown. Not too much too report there - except that I have to commend the personnel department at the new hockey arena - all the girls there are
Playboy
material. (Or at least
Penthouse.
)
After lunch I went back to the central depot and picked up more packages, this time destined for the eastern suburbs. My third delivery brought me to the door of a little two-bedroom house in Springton.
I was pleasantly surprised when the door was answered by a rather stunning redhead. (Think Joely Fisher from
Ellen,
and add 10-15 pounds in all the right places.)
She was dressed in a robe and not much else. I managed to get her to sign for her package while keeping the blood from draining from my head, with only moderate success. She noticed that I seemed to be in a bit of distress and asked if I needed to sit down or anything. A half-dozen or so possible responses popped into my head, and I chose the "honest bastard" approach: placing what I hoped was the right half-smile on my face, I said " I'm fine, it's just that it's been a while since I was this close to such a beautiful babe in such flattering clothes - or lack thereof."(Not exactly a lie, but close enough to the truth for my purposes.)
"Oh really?" she replied, with a similar half-smile appearing on her face.
"Really. And although I'd like to do a hell of a lot more than "sit down" with you, I still have a ton of packages to deliver, and today's my first day on the job, so I have to make a good impression. Still, I do finish work at 5:00, so if you're interested, I could come back..."
"You get right to the point, don't you?"
"I try."
"Well, come back at 5:00, and we'll see what happens then, Johnny."
"Hey, how'd..."My voice trailed off as I looked at the front of my uniform, where a nametag plainly read
Johnny
. "Okay, you've got my name, but I didn't catch yours."
"Sure you did. Right on that little clipboard."
Feeling like an idiot, I looked at where I had gotten her signature not five minutes earlier. Her first name was Vicki.