Neither one would have guessed that they had so much in common! Both had been married for quite some time, better than 20 years each. Both were far younger looking than their middle age drivers' licenses revealed. Both were in the throes of the quiet, lonely sadness that follows the realization that the sparkle was gone from their respective relationships.
Their meeting was by chance -- well mostly by chance. They met at a grant writing conference in Florida, he looking for money for after school programs in his school district, she trying desperately to find funding that might keep her community children's theater afloat. They literally bumped into each other on the way out the door in the midst of an unruly crowd of otherwise proper ladies and gentlemen on their way to a prepaid buffet lunch. They bumped so hard that her papers and flyers went in one direction and his in another. Their eyes first connected while they both were on all fours groping around the floor for their possessions.
He had noticed her face before that but he took a better look then and liked what he saw. She, like all clever women, had checked him out before their collision and was pleased that this close up view of him was as pleasant as the long distance view. They tried to stare at each other unassumingly and that wasn't easy, what with the frequent interception of their line of sight by the legs of the other participants making for the dining room. He spoke first, in an apologetic and courteous manner.
"Geez, I am so sorry! Here, let me get those for you."
"That's OK," she said. "I've been knocked on my butt before."
Her voice was pleasing and not in any way insecure. There she was, practically sitting on the floor in the midst of a forest of legs and shoes, and she exuded an air of confidence and control. They both seemed to have gathered together what they needed simultaneously and as they rose he moved an outstretched hand in her direction and said, as his papers went flying out of his hand once again, "My name is Gary Williams and I am truly a klutz!"
Trying to contain her laughter and not doing a very good job she replied, "I'm Beth Haverstraw and I know just what you mean."
"Beth! You're kidding! Imagine us bumping into each other like this here!" he blurted out.
And then it clicked for her. Gary was a guy she had met via a Bulletin Board network that helped people find grant money for projects they were running. It was mostly a support group type of thing because all everyone usually did was moan and groan over how difficult it was to find funding for their pet projects. Once in a great while someone discovered a lead and secured a few extra bucks for their program. For the most part the BB members belly ached and looked for shoulders to cry on.
Beth and Gary had first spoken on line about six months prior to their sudden meeting in Florida. Beth lived in Florida and in one of their conversations she mentioned the conference that was taking place in Jacksonville on the University campus. She had told Gary that she was going but he never let on that he was considering a trip there as well. Gary went, knowing that Beth would be there but, in all likelihood, she had no idea whatsoever that he would be there too.
"What do you say we skip the gourmet buffet experience and go out for a bite to eat. Just the two of us!"
He could read the agreement in her eyes before the "OK" slipped out of her mouth and in no time at all they were outside the conference area, into the parking lot, and inside his rental car.
This was a first for Gary. He had been married for 32 years and he had never spent any time alone with another woman except for his wife. He had two grown children, more or less on their own, and he and his wife should have been frolicking in the empty nest that they had longed for all those years. He had planned for these years, taking care of himself physically and emotionally. He hadn't had more than a little cold in years. He took vitamins and supplements religiously and exercised whenever he could. Most of all he never cheated on his wife -- never even thought about it.
But something happened about 8 years before. Gary had changed and he'd be the first to admit it. He had some personal things to work out and in doing so became more in touch with the anger that he had harbored and hidden inside since he was a child. It wasn't anything terrible, no shouting, no throwing things, no hitting. But he did begin to speak his mind and hold onto his opinions more than he ever did before.
Gary's wife wasn't used to this new person and their relationship went downhill fast. She tried to save it first and then he tried later, too much later. About two years ago they both knew it was over but neither one of them had the courage to leave. They talked about it a lot, during and after the spats that happened more and more often. They agreed that the love was gone. They both yearned for that feeling of freshness, newness that their relationship once had. They wouldn't admit that those feelings were only associated with young love. They were stubborn but it was gone and they knew it.
Gary was amazed that sitting in the car with Beth, someone he hardly knew at all, was enough to send a flutter throughout his entire body. He recognized the feeling and knew that he hadn't felt like this in decades.
Beth too was experiencing a shiver that coursed through her whole being. She too was married and what was left of her relationship was a shambles. She had escaped the obvious relationship busters -- untreated alcoholism, unfaithfulness, violence. Her husband worked a good job and provided for her and her children but his connectedness stopped there. She described her husband as out of it -- a couch potato with none of the comical associations that go with that caricature.
She was young at heart and full of energy but her husband couldn't care less. Beth's days were full of activity -- volunteering, horse back riding, doing things with her children. His were full of nothing. She could reach out and grab anything she wanted. No challenge was too great for her. She could have everything! Everything, that is, except love.
The innocuous conversations that Gary and Beth had on line were never directly about their relationships. Nevertheless, when you speak to anyone for any length of time, things come out. By this point, they both knew the status of each other's relationships and they both new that what they were feeling in this hot rental car was a sensation that neither of them had experienced for many years.
"So, where shall we eat," Gary said, attempting to hide the slight nervous quaver in his voice.
"Keep going straight," Beth whispered, a plan hatching in her head.
Gary had no idea where he was going. He drove the main thoroughfare without noticing the scenery and without an inkling of his goal. Beth was in control. She knew it as well as he did.
"So, how come you didn't tell me you were coming to this conference," Beth said with what seemed to Gary like a little edge to her voice.
"I didn't know I was going to be able to come," he lied quickly. "Things lightened up at work just last week and my boss thought it would be a good idea if I came down and tried to learn something about this business."
Nothing could have been farther from the truth. From the minute Beth had mentioned the conference he had plotted and planned so that he would be in Jacksonville when Beth was. He didn't have any trouble with his wife. She was happy to see him go. They often planned respites away from each other. That seemed to be the only way they were able to get along -- relationship intermissions, sort of.
He had more trouble with his boss, a cheep, smarmy overstuffed bureaucrat who was only convinced when Gary told him that with the right grants he might be able to offset his entire salary. Reluctantly, he approved the funds for the two day conference. Gary just hoped that he could make good on his promise.
"I never expected to see you here but I can't tell you how happy I am that you are here," responded Beth in a much more pleasant tone. "I wanted to meet you for so long. Your picture doesn't do you justice. You are a handsome fella!"
Blushing, Gary said. "Thank you," wanting it to sound suave and sophisticated but knowing it sounded childish.
"I can't tell you how surprised I was to bump into you," he said. "I didn't recognize you at first. You are way younger looking than in your photo. Have you been lying to me all this time about your age? You can't be in your forties!"
"Believe me, honey! I'm way into my forties but thank you anyway."
As she finished her sentence she pointed to the shoulder of the road and Gary saw an unassuming restaurant with a few cars in the parking lot.
"Pull in there," Beth said.