I love John so much. We adore each other and during our relationship we have discovered so very much about each other and ourselves,
Before I met John and he has said the same, I really did not know myself. It was as if my inner thoughts had been put away in a secret cupboard, never to be opened.
But John changed all that as much as I have helped him to discover inhibitions that have remained stagnant for so long.
I truly believe that old Victorian traditions, although well meant, have hindered the process of development in human beings. For example my grandmother had, which would now be considered, as hilarious morals, when sex was never discussed; and to indulge in sex out of marriage was out of the question, although of course it was still ventured by lovers who could not help themselves, but were brainwashed to believe that is was wrong and disgusting, and to have a child out of marriage was the lowest of the low.
And yet, by the same token, certain Victorian disciplines by way of corporal punishment have richly contributed to our loving relationship. Looking at the history of school discipline in the past it was not unusual to be caned on the hand for talking in class during lessons. My father often told me how he was often caned, because he was a bit of a rebel and how, looking back he deserved it - as much as his mother kept him in control with a copper stick across his buttocks if he misbehaved.
Now it would be considered as abuse but then, corporal punishment was thought to be the correct procedure to tame a wretched and mischievous soul. And youths discovered to be stealing and such would receive so many strokes of the 'birch' as prescribed by a court judge, and sometimes placed into a 'Borstal' a corrective school for disobedient youngsters.
Perhaps the kernel, for want of a better word, was hidden in that corner of the mind which was forgotten about, unless spurred by a certain experience in life. John is convinced that in his case the corporal punishment he received from his mother when he was young was responsible for innermost thoughts which have since been cultivated and applied with wonderful results by my lover; who pampers and spoils me so much, who has inspired my sex life to a degree unknown with former lovers