I love John so much. We adore each other and during our relationship we have discovered so very much about each other and ourselves,
Before I met John and he has said the same, I really did not know myself. It was as if my inner thoughts had been put away in a secret cupboard, never to be opened.
But John changed all that as much as I have helped him to discover inhibitions that have remained stagnant for so long.
I truly believe that old Victorian traditions, although well meant, have hindered the process of development in human beings. For example my grandmother had, which would now be considered, as hilarious morals, when sex was never discussed; and to indulge in sex out of marriage was out of the question, although of course it was still ventured by lovers who could not help themselves, but were brainwashed to believe that is was wrong and disgusting, and to have a child out of marriage was the lowest of the low.
And yet, by the same token, certain Victorian disciplines by way of corporal punishment have richly contributed to our loving relationship. Looking at the history of school discipline in the past it was not unusual to be caned on the hand for talking in class during lessons. My father often told me how he was often caned, because he was a bit of a rebel and how, looking back he deserved it - as much as his mother kept him in control with a copper stick across his buttocks if he misbehaved.
Now it would be considered as abuse but then, corporal punishment was thought to be the correct procedure to tame a wretched and mischievous soul. And youths discovered to be stealing and such would receive so many strokes of the 'birch' as prescribed by a court judge, and sometimes placed into a 'Borstal' a corrective school for disobedient youngsters.
Perhaps the kernel, for want of a better word, was hidden in that corner of the mind which was forgotten about, unless spurred by a certain experience in life. John is convinced that in his case the corporal punishment he received from his mother when he was young was responsible for innermost thoughts which have since been cultivated and applied with wonderful results by my lover; who pampers and spoils me so much, who has inspired my sex life to a degree unknown with former lovers
I simply look forward to his spanking during our wonderful episodes of role play which has certainly revived an early passion almost lost after the first year of our relationship. I don't know why but the flame almost went out until, one night, almost in a fit of anger, because we had been having an argument about him being jealous because I had been flirting with his pal -John bent me over his knee and spanked me, treating me like a naughty child and I was absolutely furious with him. I felt so demented that he did such a thing and I immediately hammered his chest with my bare knuckles.
But John is not one to bear a malice for long, he ended up crying on my shoulder apologizing for what he had done. And that is when it came out, the spanking thing and how it was once considered correct to punish one's spouse that way, as shown in many old black and white movies.
And yet, out of all that something magical happened. I felt aroused by John's masterful approach, so much better than the John of old, who was too concerned about rough treating me when we were having sex. Something I wanted when I was geared up by the strong spur of my passion, but something that never happened despite my hints. And then sex lost its lustre and appeal, it almost became a monthly occurrence like John felt it was his duty. It was like we were doing it by numbers and each time it was the boring same old, same old; when I would look at the ceiling and hope it would soon be done, pretending to reach an orgasm just to keep John's ego up. I no longer had the spur to have oral with him, I simply pretended with my hand and it was as if, in the mode of his passion, he never realized. But for me I had serious thoughts about accepting a date invitation from this guy called Tom in the office , who was a real stunner, who caught the eye of most of the other girls. Who made me feel special because he turned to me rather than any of the other girls.
I had secret fantasies about him, fantasies which actually helped me enjoy John's fuck, imaging it was Tom inside me. That may sound awful I know but that is how it was. But given that, I still loved John and it was possibly just in the nick of time that we both discovered a new and wonderful element in our sex life. Something that was about to revive my passion like never before, something I could never, ever have envisaged derived from something which was considered as corporal punishment.
