These situations tend to happen when my guard is down. Unexpectedly. Less when I make an effort and more when I don't. Take the night this tale takes place. Just a couple of drinks they said. Nothing heavy. We were staying in a ski town. Early December. Fresh snow. The holiday spirit is in the air. We were at a pub at the top of a steep street in this mountain town. Just off the main drag by two blocks. The warm glow inside was cozy and packed full of locals. Beer flowing, glasses clinking, laughter, good energy. It was Friday, and payday no less. We'd been working ten-hour days all week - all year. Hard work. The whole crew was young guys, tradesmen, healthy and happy.
We were sitting at the end of the bar, me and two buddies. I don't recall the particulars of our conversation, but I can assure you it was crude. Two girls sat on the stools beside us, also up at the bar. Because we were at the end, they were actually at the corner of the bar, essentially facing us. I gave them a quick assessment.
A blonde and a brunette. The blonde girl was fit and pretty, not Barbie pretty, but conventionally pretty. She took good care of herself. The brunette was chubby and more done up i.e. more makeup. She had big brown eyes that stood out and a modest lip ring. A stud. Something you wouldn't notice at first.
They looked over at us while chatting to each other and we would occasionally do the same. Back and forth. More drinks came. More conversation. I caught the blonde looking over and decided it was time. The pool table had just freed up.
I tried to play it cool. "You girls interested in a game?" They smiled then looked at each other for approval, paused...
"Sure," said the chubby brunette like she didn't care.
"Right on."
I racked and we played doubles. Now that the girls were mobile the blonde was getting a lot of attention. She handled it well. My pals were some of the main culprits but whatever. I tried striking up a conversation with the blonde but it fizzled - no chemistry. That's not to say we weren't having a good time, but I could tell she wasn't into me. Can't win them all, am I right? No big deal. It was still a good night and about to get better.
One of my buddies locked eyes with me over the pool table and motioned to the door. Something was afoot.
I met him at the door.
"Wanna' do a dinger?" He asks.
"Well fuuck," I say, looking around. "All right then."
We get to his car chalk up a couple of stompers and blast them up our noses and it feels like it hits the back of my brain like an exploding can of spray paint.
I breathe out of my mouth slowly, feeling very relaxed for a moment, when then the drugs start pushing their way to the front of the line in my head and hop in the driver's seat.
"Good shit am I right?" says my pal.
"Let's get inside!" I announce.
We burst back into the bar, ready for anything. Already it feels way more crowded and rowdy. Back at the table the boys are fawning over the blonde. Another buddy is trying to show the brunette how to play pool or hold a stick or something. I'm buzzing hard, almost vibrating. Me and my partner in crime tune right into each other and start talking. I can't remember the particulars but it was all mad, mile-a-minute bullshit. The beer was going down. We were in heart-to-heart territory, talking about the past, high school, old friends, girls, parties, fights, work, our current girlfriends, cars. Sometime during all this, the bar had kind of thinned out a little. I looked around. The blonde had finally decided on some guy I didn't know, their body language indicating they were an item for now.
I looked at my buddy. He looked at me, then gestured with his head to something behind me. I turned in my bar stool. It was the chubby brunette. She had a bored look on her face but was staring right at me like she'd been there for a while.
I nodded over to the blonde.
"Looks like they're hitting it off."
She nodded her head up and down, with a little funny look on her face.
"Yeah, poor guy doesn't know it's going nowhere. She doesn't hook up with random. Ever."
Plunk!
The bartender put a tall red drink in front of her.
"Tall gin cranberry for the lady," he declared.
"Oh yeah? She looks like a good girl," I said. I wasn't lying - the blonde did.
"Yeah," smiled the brunette, "meanwhile I should be wearing a t-shirt that says 'Cum Guzzling Slut'."
No joke and this is true, I was so buzzed out on the nose candy that I heard her comment but it didn't register.
"Should we at least give him the heads up that he's barking up the wrong tree? Whaddya think?"
"I said." She stated very clearly, holding my gaze this time with her big beautiful brown eyes, "I should be wearing a shirt that says 'Cum. Guzzling. Whore.' - because that's what I am."
This time it registered. Women don't tend to declare these things as much as internet pornography would have you believe.
Ok. Focus. This fell in my lap. Gotta keep it going.
"Wanna' go outside for a smoke?" I asked. They had an outdoor patio just off the pool table.
She got up and I followed.
Outside was cold and fresh. Snow everywhere. Lights from the alley gave the patio a warm halo. She put a cigarette between her doll-like lips, lit it, looked at me and spread her legs a little.
I took the hint. I reached out and grabbed her pussy over her black yoga pants, massaging it through the fabric with all four fingers, rubbing her clit area. When I figured out where her slit was I worked my middle finger between her lips, massaging up till I hit the spot.
She just leaned back a little, her hips out and legs just spread enough. She carried on smoking, not looking at me but up at the night sky. She smiled a little and shook her head as if making up her mind. I could tell I was on target as her eyelids lowered and she started grinding back against my hand.
"Where do we go?" she asked.
My mind was racing. Had to land this one. I knew about an open garage down the block and around the corner. We used to smoke dope there at lunch in high school. Private enough, I thought.
"Let's go for a walk."
She shot up and I followed suit. We bee-lined for the bar door.
My buddy looked confused as we walked by. I gave him a look and he damn well got it. We burst out the bar door door to an empty street and we were on each other like animals. Tongues in each other's throats. She even bit my lip hard enough to draw blood.
"Get your dick out I'm gonna' suck it."
Suddenly something occurred to me.
"You consent to all this, right?" I asked.
