Soccer Moms -- Part 10
Carol was stunned by the news. It was the last thing she expected. Jen had clearly been expecting her best friend to be as excited as she was, but the look on Carol's face was not a particularly positive one. Some of the joy on her own face faded and Carol immediately realized that she had not given the glee filled response that Jen must have been expecting.
She did her best to try to cover it up. "That's wonderful news Jen. So where did you meet him?"
"It's a her actually." said Jen noticing that this additional piece of news had taken the false smile right off Carol's face. "She was a student in the Paralegal program. She said she had been interested in wanting to go out with me right from the moment I got there, but since she was a student she couldn't do anything about it. Now that she graduated she asked me on a date." Jen's tone was a bit challenging, as if to make it clear to Carol that some other person could be interested in her.
Paul came around the car carrying Melanie's bag at this point and could immediately sense that there was something wrong. He decided he would try to act naturally and hope his presence would ease the moment.
"Hi Jen." Paul said as came up and gave her a friendly hug. "The tournament went great and Melanie played well and the girls won the who shebang."
"That's great news Paul thanks. Look, I'm sure you guys are tired from all the driving and want to head back. Carol, we can talk more on Tuesday at practice. I'll send Katie out."
"That would be fine Jen, great. I'll see you on Tuesday."
Jen turned and went into the house as Carol got into the car. Katie came out a minute later in a little snit and said "I wanted to spend a little more time with Melanie."
Carol rounded on her and said tersely "You spent the whole weekend with her. It's late, you have school tomorrow and we're going home." Neither Paul nor Katie knew what had happened but they also knew that it was not the time to do anything but sit quietly and get home.
When they got home Katie ran into the house and right up to her room. Unbeknownst to her parents, Katie immediately texted Melanie to see if she could shed any light on what had happened. Carol and Paul walked into the house and Carol slumped down on the couch. Paul sat next to her and went to cradled her in his arms but she shrugged him off and just said "I'm tired. Maybe you can call out for something for dinner."
Paul knew enough to know that Carol needed to be left alone to deal with whatever had gone on between her and Jen. He ordered a pizza and went upstairs to speak with Katie for a bit before the delivery arrived. When it did, the family ate dinner in mostly silence.
Katie went right up to her room afterwards and Paul cleaned after dinner. Eventually Paul went up to bed and went to sleep. Carol remained on the couch all night with a million thoughts all going through her head. Her last one was "I'll apologize to her tomorrow." And with that Carol went to sleep.
Carol's call to Jen went to voicemail. She did not want to apologize over voicemail so she just asked if Jen could call her when she had a moment. That night she lay in bed with Paul and began to discuss with him what had happened the day before at the Smith's house.
"She told me she had a date with another woman." Carol spoke while both of them continued to stare at the ceiling.
Paul chose his words carefully. "Is that good news?"
"She was so happy about the news and seemed excited to tell me. But I was very unhappy about the news."
"Well, it was sudden for you right?" Paul again wanting to make sure that wherever this might be going, he was on Carol's side.
"I don't even know if I was jealous or just being selfish. But to be honest my first instinct was to feel threatened by the news."
"Carol, Jen is very important to you. And you have shared a lot that not everyone gets to share. But it was always as friends, right?"
"Yeah, I know."
"And remember, you have me to come back to and she does not have anyone. And I'm better than nothing." For the first time Carol turned and looked at her husband.
"You are much more than 'better than nothing.' You are an amazing man and I love you so much."
The next morning Carol finally apologized to Katie for yelling at her in the car Sunday night. Katie said it was fine. Carol had trouble reading her face, but as long as she wasn't sullen or moody, Carol took it as a win. Next, she called Jen, but again, Jen did not answer. "Jen, this is Carol. I would like to apologize for the other day. Please give me a call when you can. Thanks. Bye."
Another phone call later that day also went unanswered. Carol waited for her at practice that night, but even when she arrived, Melanie came out of the car, but Jen did not. Melanie came up to Carol and gave her a big "Hi. Mrs. Rogers."
"Melanie, do you know if your mom is going to come out of the car?"
That took the smile of the young girl's face as she said "I don't know. She seems upset about something. But you'll cheer her up, won't you Mrs. Rogers?"
"I don't think I should try to drag her out but if she comes over, I will try Melanie."
"Good." The young girl's smile returning. "She always seems happy when she's been around you."
Carol was too worried that she might have ruined her friendship with Jen to really grasp what Melanie had said, but she was relieved to see Jen getting out of the car. It didn't necessarily mean that Jen would talk to her but it was a start.
Jen started walking over to the knot of parents standing around. Carol met her as she approached and said "Jen, can we walk?" They knew that also meant could they talk as they walked around the field away from the other parents. Jen nodded her head but said nothing and just kept walking.
Carol had to jog a bit to catch up to her. When they were out of hearing distance of the other parents Carol said "Jen, I want to apologize for the other night. You had good news you wanted to share and I did not react well." Jen said nothing but continued to walk and look straight ahead. Her pace was faster than usual and she seemed to be walking angry.
Carol was having a little trouble keeping up at this pace. "I wasn't trying to hurt you..."
"But you did!" Jen cut across Carol's words very curtly but again did not look at her and just kept walking at the fast pace.
"I really am sorry. You're my best friend and..."
"Am I?" again Jen cut across Carol's apology.
Carol was fast realizing just how much she had hurt her friend and knew that her apology was not going as she had hoped it would. "Yes, Jen. I hope so. I still want you to be my best friend."
"Look, Carol. Along with our friendship we had something else. Something that was very special to me. But it was always something secondary. It was secondary to your relationship with Paul. And it was supposed to be secondary to our friendship. But your reaction to my news makes me question that. Makes me question all of it." Jen did have a point in that Carol's reaction was one that suggested Carol had deeper feelings for Jen when they agreed that was not to be a part of their relationship. But she was using her anger at Carol to ignore that she had been having deeper feelings of her own.
Jen stopped walking and turned to Carol. "So I think the only way we can continue as friends is if we continue as only friends. And as a friend, you should be happy if I have a date and may have found someone to fill a part of my life that is empty right now. And as a friend, you should hope that maybe that date can become something more. If you still want to be friends, that is how it has to be. Can you accept that?"
Carol was almost in tears. She knew she had truly hurt Jen. She had also managed to turn their wonderful experiences into a negative. Also she could not help but notice that Jen kept saying "friends" and not "best friends." All she said was "Yes Jen, I can do that."
"Good. Now if you don't mind I kind of need to run tonight and get my head cleared. So I will see you at the end of practice."
Without waiting for anything else to be said, Jen turned and started running along the path. She went pelting past the knot of parents and started another circuit. Carol walked to complete her circle and stayed and talked with the other parents.
While Carol felt that the talk had already not gone well that night, she got a bit of a jolt on Thursday. Carol and Jen walked together at practice. Jen talked to about her date with Susan but gave few details. When Carol finally couldn't wait anymore, she asked if Jen was going to see Susan again. Jen stopped walking "Actually Carol, speaking of that, I wanted to ask you a favor. Could you take Melanie to the tournament again this weekend? Susan and I have another date and she might stay over."
"Sure, Jen that would be fine. I know Katie will be ecstatic to have her along for the whole car ride." Carol was still feeling guilty and wanted to be ingratiating to Jen, but in truth, she did not think it was fine. She could not believe that Jen would miss out on Melanie's tournament to spend time with the woman she barely knew.