The email notification chimes on my phone, distracting me from dinner. It's only a platter from the twenty-four hour Mexican joint down the road, so I wipe my fingers on the napkin in front of me, ready to read. Between bites of carnitas and corn tortilla, I tap on the email app to find another note from Maryland.
Tombstone—
I reread your email from yesterday. The one where you mentioned Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Ella Fitzgerald, and other jazz legends. Do you like the other jazz vocalists too?
The three sentence email now came across as normal behavior. At first I found it weird that a quick elevator ride with an outside vendor last week somehow turned into a string of email conversations about music. Now, seven days later, Maryland and I keep tossing little notes at each other like school kids.
Maryland—
I'm always listening to Billie Holiday, Etta James, Dinah Washington, and more. But really, I like the soulful stuff best. It's got to bring the mood—like Ellington's Blues in Orbit, or The Swingers get the Blues Too. Blues in Orbit is Ellington's unsung masterpiece.
I don't taste the carnitas anymore. I only wonder why Maryland is emailing me a week later. She's not even a vendor for my department. She asked for my card and I gave it to her. Every day since, we revisit our conversation about Guns N Roses and Chinese Democracy or talk about some other band in an email.
Two minutes after pressing send, I receive another email from her.
Tombstone—
Are you feeling lonely tonight? Those tunes . . .
I grunt, my attention now on high alert. Does she think I'm hitting on her? Those tunes might speak to loneliness. Or making out. Or both. For me, I know which from the tingling in my pants.
Maryland—
I think I'm in good company with my carnitas platter, a beer, and Ella's Cry Me a River.
In my head I'm typing the words with sarcasm, totally ignoring the possibility of Maryland mistaking my tone. Or maybe she doesn't care. I don't. Her question finally came out as something real, something where people could connect, and not some superficial conversation between two strangers.
I send the email off without thinking much about it. Once it's gone, I stuff my mouth, sip at my beer—do anything to get my mind off her asking if I'm lonely. When women asked me that question in the past, I always associated it with making out. Sex. Booty calls. Surely she isn't thinking about a booty call, right?
Notifications ring in my ears. I try not to grab it right away, not to come across as excited by responding too early, but curiosity gets me and I check it immediately.
Tombstone—
I think it's okay to say it out loud. I'm lonely tonight. Want to come over? Here's the address. This message will self-destruct in ten . . . nine . . .
Copying the address onto a sticky note takes less than a minute. Showering takes five. Dressing two. In ten I'm in the car driving to her house. I send an email on my way out the door to let her know it'll take me twenty minutes to get there.
I guess I'm lonelier than I thought.
Streets pass, and my knee bounces, and I focus on the passing streetlights, trying to think of anything other than what might happen when I get to Maryland's place. Sure my hormones are raging. Sure I shouldn't rush off hoping for some action when I barely know the woman.
I ignore all the things I should or shouldn't do. I tell myself I'm going over there to keep myself from eating alone or heading out to the gym way too late in hopes of grabbing a Stairmaster, or even to keep myself from flipping channels with nothing to watch.
There's a place on the street in front of her house, so I take it. A deep breath later, and I'm out of the car, heading to the door. She opens up before I get to the porch.
"I saw you pull up," she says, and hugs me, pulls me in tight, like people do with close friends, not those they've only met in an elevator one time. To my surprise, I squeeze her back. "Come into the kitchen, I've got a few things to put away."
She releases me, and because she's quite a bit shorter than me, I get a glimpse of her cleavage exploding from her v-neck white shirt. A shade of black hints at the bra underneath. The other day her business attire hid any indication of how much cleavage she had. Now, with her turning away from me, I'm hoping for another taste, another sighting or her skin, but she points at the stool at the bar.
"Sit," she says. "Why'd you say yes to coming by?"
I half lean on the stool. She bends over to take a casserole dish out, and I check out her ass—curvaceous, tight, and now I'm thinking about smacking those cheeks. Wondering if they jiggle. Or if she likes to scream when some guy spanks her.
"I guess I didn't realize it, but I was lonelier than I thought tonight. And seeing that we can talk music, I'd thought I'd take a chance."
"Good answer," she says. Now she's facing me, her eyes daring me to look away. The brown skin of her cleavage tries to drag me in, but I don't take the bait. "I thought," she continues, "here's this white guy talking about Ella and Ellington and all the greats; this could be interesting. What would you have done if I hadn't invited you over?"
"Honestly," I reply, "I'd probably be going to the gym, or flipping channels on tv. But really I wanted a massage."