Silver Valentine

It began so innocently. Roxanne was online, looking into chat rooms, when she heard the little briiiiing of an Instant Message. She saw the box appear in the corner of the screen. "Hi...." said Gentle Man. The first thing Roxie did was click on "Profile" and then waited for the information to come on-screen. She smiled as she read......

Name: John

Sex: Male.

Location: Always on your mind.

Status: Widowed.

Hobbies: Chatting and being a friend.

Occupation: Wrapping my arms around you and holding you close.

Personal quote: "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Roxie really couldn't help smiling. She could use a friend tonight and he seemed so perfect. She typed, " Hi to you!" and the chat began.

They exchanged basic information. Her new friend was named John and he said he was 70, almost expecting it to bother her. It didn't. He seemed intelligent and charming, not a man out to find a quick sex fix. He was a widower, alone for several years, retired from an executive position with a computer company. She enjoyed his quick wit and kindness immediately.

Roxanne was in her early 50's. She still worked part-time and enjoyed chatting on the computer. Tonight, she had come online in near desperation. Her husband of over 25 years, had told her this morning that he didn't love her anymore. He said she was too vanilla, too predictable. James swore he didn't have anyone else, but Roxie didn't believe him. Over the last few years, he had lost more and more interest in her, treating her more like a semi-tolerable roomie than a wife.

She had thought about it all day, wondering what she had done wrong, knowing she was at fault. Her heart hurt. Her head was dizzy with worry. How would she exist on her own? She had been Mrs. James Scott for so long now, she couldn't even remember being Roxanne. The hours had passed slowly, with Roxie sitting curled up in a tiny ball, feeling sore and bruised, although he had never touched her. She just felt incredibly fragile. She needed someone to hold her, reassure her. The irony was that the only man who was close enough to do that didn't want to touch her anymore.

So, after he had gone out for the evening, Roxanne had signed online. She couldn't bear to be alone with her thoughts anymore and hoped someone would chat with her and let her forget today, at least for a little while.

Now, she had found John, or he had found her. All the same, he was nice and kind and seemed interested in her. They began haltingly, sharing the common information, marriage, kids, jobs. But he had a way of chatting that seemed more intimate, more caring than the average guy. Without even realizing it, several hours passed. The nicest part was that he had never gotten out of line or crude. She liked that.

Roxie hadn't really told him much about James and herself. It was too new, too hurtful to tell anyone. She could only imagine what he would think. Maybe she wasn't worthy of being loved. She certainly couldn't tell her new friend that. He would probably find out soon enough. She didn't expect anything from the relationship, but she wanted it to continue as long as possible.

They typed goodnight and promised to chat again. She had already added his name to her buddy list and smiled once again as they parted.

It didn't take long for James to decide what his next move should be. Within the week, he had packed his belongings and moved out. He promised he would send her his new address and jauntily walked out the door, closing it behind him for the last time. Roxie called in sick that weekend, turned off the phone and pulled the covers over her head, leaving the bed only for bathroom breaks. Her mind whirled constantly. She hadn't been on her own for nearly 30 years, and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

After several days in the bed, Roxie couldn't stand herself. She felt dirty and greasy and really wanted to brush her teeth. She dropped her well-worn clothes into the hamper and climbed into the shower. As she scrubbed, she began to think of her life before James. She had lived alone for a few years after college and had done all right. As she thought of her marriage, she remembered all the years that James seemed absent and she had functioned as the head of the household. She had always written the checks, balanced the checkbook, bought the groceries and the household supplies. It was just James who made her feel worthless and incapable. The longer she stood under the hot shower spray, the more confident she felt. The more she thought about it, the surer she became that life without James wasn't over at all.

A new woman stepped from the shower. She dried her body and hair, sprayed on cologne, dressed and applied make up. Stripping the bed and remaking it, Roxie felt she was taking the first step in her new life. If he didn't want her, it was his loss! She began to look forward to life without him. She could cook what she wanted, when she wanted. She could stay up late or sleep in, and no one would make nasty little comments about her. She felt taller and stronger and...well, smarter too!

After starting the wash, she sat at the computer and was touched to find E-mails from John. There were several each day, all asking if she was all right, if everything was all right. She opened the 'Write' program and began her reply. She told him about her marriage and how James had left her, leaving out no details, sparing nothing. She sensed that John would be understanding and kind and looked forward to his reply. She hit the Send button.

As she worked her way through her accumulated E-mail, she thought frequently of John. His E-mails had been tender and concerned, actually making her feel even better and stronger. Just as she finished clearing her mailbox, the 'little man' said, "You've got mail!" Clicking on the icon, she saw that John had replied already. She opened his E-mail and found only five words. "Give me your phone number." Suddenly another E-mail appeared, this one even shorter. Only one word. "Please!"

She typed her number into an E-Letter and sent it, smiling. Her phone rang nearly immediately. John introduced himself and then just waited. She hesitantly began talking, just babbling really, feeling very nervous and suddenly shy. After all, this is what everyone warned against, the evils of talking on the phone to strangers. But John didn't seem a stranger, he never had. Before long they were happily sharing stories and opinions. It seemed they had known each other forever.

They became friends. They talked after she came home from work. they talked in the early evening. They talked if Roxie's courage failed her and she woke shaking at 3am. The E-mails and chats continued too, giving them each valuable information about the other.

John lived in the Pacific Northwest. Roxie lived in Florida. Worlds and miles apart. Before long, the talk turned to "What if....". "What if we had found each other earlier, what if we lived nearer, what if we met....?" It became a favorite game, planning how their lives would be if they were together, if they had been together all these years. Roxie liked thinking about it, thinking how different everything would have been.

John was a good friend, supportive and kind. He was also rough when it was needed, giving her pep talks and even being firm when necessary. Roxie enjoyed him incredibly. He was never rude or forward, just loving. She felt safe with him, content in his company.

One night John called and sounded excited. "I have to travel to Buffalo, New York. I will be there a week. Come with me. Join me there. We can meet and get to know one another, have fun, enjoy our time together. There are no strings attached. We can stay in separate rooms, hell, separate hotels. Just two friends enjoying each other. Please say yes!"

When he paused for a breath, much to her surprise, she did! Roxie couldn't think of any reason not to go. She had never traveled to New York before and she had time off coming to her. Now their calls revolved around vacation plans. Where to stay, when to arrive, what to do. E-mails flew back and forth, full of information about the area and activities there. Niagara Falls! They were going to visit there, stay a few days and just enjoy the area.

All the plans took so much of her attention, that Roxie didn't even notice it was nearing Valentine's Day. She didn't even realize that she and John would be in Niagara Falls on the actual holiday. She just knew that for the first time in years she felt someone actually wanted to be with her, spend time with her. It was a glorious feeling!

They coordinated their flights, arriving at the Buffalo airport within an hour of each other. They both hurried to the restaurant, the designated meeting area. She knew him immediately, as he knew her. They walked up to each other, and hugged warmly.

It was just as she hoped. He was a wonderful man, tall and husky. She liked that. His chin rested on her head for a moment and she could hear his dear voice under her cheek. He had silver hair, a full head of it. And a neatly trimmed beard, the moustache framing his full pink lips. His eyes were a demin blue, twinkling with delight. The lashes fringing those eyes were thick and dark. His cheeks were flushed from the excitement and he had a beautiful smile. His hands caressed her back, holding her close. Roxie felt she had come home.

When John saw Roxie, he was stunned. She was exactly what he expected. Short, a little pudgy, but pleasantly so. She had a clear olive complexion and her short, dark hair was streaked with long strands of silver. Her eyes were so dark, they seemed black. He felt lost in them at first glance. Then she smiled and the smile glowed from her entire face, welcoming him into her life and heart. She felt good in his arms, substantial. The last woman he had held had been his wife. Just before she died, she had been little more than skin and bones. Now, holding a healthy woman felt so good.

Finally, they pulled apart. It was time to get on with the business of getting settled and beginning their vacation. They had a car rental pre-arranged and quickly gathered luggage and started for the hotel.

After much mental debate, Roxie had requested a room alone, but near his. They were on the same floor, across the hall from each other. It was perfect. That night, they sat in her room, cross-legged on the bed, and continued the talks that had become so important to both of them. John had lived a full and interesting life, had met so many important people. He told stories with skill, peppering them with his own life facts. She loved that. The trip had been tiring though, and soon they were both wilting. He tucked her into the bed, kissed her forehead and let himself out. She was asleep before he reached the door.

The next day dawned blue and brilliant. Roxie showered and dressed excitedly. Today they were driving over to Canada to view the Falls! Soon, she heard John's knock on the door, and she raced to open it. During the drive, they talked non-stop, tripping over words as they shared the years of their lives.

Crossing the border was exciting, Roxie had never left the country before. To commemorate the occasion, John took a picture of Roxie hugging a decidely unsmiling border guard. Now, the signs looked strange, even the air seemed different. They both became quiet as they neared the Falls. Parking the car, they held hands as they walked toward the viewing deck. It was so magnificent. They silently stood together, in awe of the beauty. When they could pull themselves away, they went into the nearby building, gathering brochures and deciding on activities. Roxie had given quite some thought on how much a man in his 70's would want to do, but once she met John, all concerns left her mind. He was as vigorous and energetic as a man half his age. First, they decided to ride the "Maid of the Mist".

It was incredibly exciting and noisy. Their tiny boat bobbed and tossed on the churning water, causing them to cling together. Both were laughing and happier than they had been in a long time. They had bought a waterproof disposable camera at the gift shop and now took lots of pictures of each other in the dripping plastic capes.

Then, they took the tour under the Falls, ending in a small balcony behind the waterfall. It was so impressive, listening to the tour guide and watching the tumbling water. Roxie never wanted this day to end.

When they returned to the main building, they decided they were starving. Going to the snack bar, they found they were both hot dog junkies, and ate them the same way, with everything loaded on. They bought souvenirs for their friends at the gift shop, secretly buying each other a tiny Maid of the Mist boat to remember today.

After lunch, they walked around the tourist area, going into all the shops, playing video games, looking at tacky shirts and jewelry, and just enjoying the companionship. By mid-afternoon, they wanted a rest, and sat on a bench and "people watched", making up stories about the other tourists and laughing at their cleverness.

Roxie couldn't remember being happier. John was the perfect companion. He listened to her, made her feel special and important. He was quite gentlemanly in an old world sense, opening doors, holding her arm, deferring to her desires. It was strangely wonderful. Roxie had always wondered why women made such a fuss about being treated nicely by men. After all her years with James, she was luxuriating in feeling feminine and pampered.

John had made dinner reservations in a very fancy restaurant. They drove back to ther hotel to nap and change clothes, agreeing to meet at 7pm to return to the Falls. Roxie fell asleep easily, and slept well, finally not burdened by dreams of James and his new life. Instead she dreamed of rushing water and happiness, beautiful colors and enticing scents.

She showered again, and carefully redid her makeup. She had bought a new dress just for tonight. It was black and very beautiful. The saleslady had assured her that it was made for a woman with curves and, indeed, it did look good on her. She twirled in front of the full length mirror, pleased with herself.

When John knocked, she walked slowly to the door. Seeing her, he let out a whistle of appreciation. "You are lovely, my dear. I am one lucky man and will be the envy of all the other patrons tonight!"

John looked great. He wore a dark suit that was shot with silver threads, the palest blue shirt and a tie that matched his incredible eyes. His hair was neatly combed, his beard complementing his face. He had splashed on Obsession, and Roxie became intoxicated with the scent.

He extended his arm and escorted Roxie to the elevator and the waiting car. The drive to Canada was quiet now. They were each lost in thoughts of the wonderful day and the night that lay ahead. He parked at the restaurant, letting the valet take the car, and walked proudly into the building and the elevator. The restaurant was on the top floor, with a rotating floor, slowly spinning them past the Falls every twenty minutes. John ordered for both of them, including a delicious wine. He raised his glass. "To new friends who quickly become dear and special. To the silver years, when you are still happily surprised by life. To Roxanne. Thank you, my dear."

Roxie felt herself blush and she lowered her eyes. She felt tears beginning to gather, burning her lids. She admonished herself to stop it, to remain calm. Taking a deep breath, she raised her eyes to John and smiled. "Thank you, Sir, for reminding me that I have worth. You made me feel like a woman again and I will always be grateful to you. Here is to new friends, especially dearest John!"

Dinner was extraordinary. The night time lights on the Falls were spectacular. The wine was sweet and light, and Roxie enjoyed several glasses. John asked her to dance and she agreed immediately. On the dance floor, John was quite graceful. He twirled her and dipped her and held her close. The other dancers actually stopped to watch them. A photographer strolled by, taking pictures of Valentine couples. John asked for two prints. Staring at their picture, Roxie saw two handsome people, looking, for all the world, like lovers. She giggled, amazed at her thought.

After dinner, John suggested they go back to the Falls and see the light display close up. He offered his jacket, draping it carefully over her bare shoulders. They stood against the railing, admiring the wonder of Niagara Falls. Tonight was special. The regular vari-colored lights were complemented by red heart lights shining against the spray. The crowd ooooohed and aaaaaahed. Roxie and John joined them. It was spectacular. They stood close together, each wondering, each quiet. John placed his arm around Roxie, pulling her closer, holding her tightly. She looked up to say something, and he leaned down to listen. Then their lips met. And held. It had been a while for both of them, yet they remembered well how to kiss. Tentatively, their tongues sought, their mouths opened and they breathed together.

Roxie felt her heart jump-start, as if coming alive for the first time. John circled her waist, holding her against him, sharing his warmth with her as they learned. This was unexpected. Roxie had hoped that the friendship she felt for John would survive meeting, she never expected the heart-pounding ache between her legs. Yet, here it was. She worried that she would ruin everything. Poor John. He came here to meet a friend and now she was getting all romantic on him!

But..... his kiss was beyond friendly! His kiss was warm and very sensual. His tongue was happily exploring her mouth, delving and sweeping, teasing and retreating. This was not your typical friendly kiss.

"John," she began, "I, well, I am pretty vulnerable right now. I haven't been kissed in a few years, and you are quite a good kisser. Perhaps..."

His mouth stopped her. Actually, stopped all her thoughts and sensible reactions. He captured her lips so completely, kissing her, as they say in romance novels, 'insensible'.

When she was quite flustered and shaken, he pulled her close, his mouth near her ear. "My dear Roxanne, I think i fell in love with you the first night. I am your friend, and I think I always will be. But, and consider this carefully, I would be honored to be your lover tonight."

Roxie looked into his handsome face, her eyes drawn to his beautiful lips framed in the soft silver facial hair. Her thoughts raced. She looked up into his eyes, his beautiful eyes, and saw the love there. Slowly she nodded, licking her lips, her heart pounding against her chest for everyone to see and hear.

As if all activity had stopped, even the Falls no longer rushed past, and the world consisted of just these two people, they began walking to the car. The ride home was quiet, the car full of emotions that needed to be shared. John held her hand and she felt her entire world focus on the sensation of his thumb rubbing her palm. She sat close beside him, her body hyper-alert, all thoughts driven from her mind.

At the hotel, he held her close beside him as they rode upstairs. At her room, he took the key and opened her door, following her inside, once again taking her into his arms, kissing her thoroughly.

The amazing thing was that she wasn't nervous. She had been with one man in her entire life and had always expected it to be so. Yet, here she was, with the dearest man in all the world, about to make love, and her hands were steady. Her rational mind supposed it was because it was so right to be here with John. Her heart knew it was because she loved him too, and she had to share herself with him.