Sil Scarf

It's been over two months. Two long, drawn out months. Everything you do has been done with a mechanical edge. Memories, of that night flowing over you, unbidden.

The sensations, the visual, the physical, and of course the attached doubts. Why had you done that? What was it about you that came flooding out that night? She was so beautiful. So sexy, yet you had never imagined yourself with another woman like that. Oh sure, you had heard all the talk, the acceptability, but with you? Still even after so long the doubts lingered. What's become of you?

Now you can go nowhere, your appreciation for femininity, becoming fully developed. Noticing the youth, the way their hair drifts in the breeze as they walk. The spring in the step, the movement of unrestrained breasts, swollen nipples reacting to a chill. The curve of the waist, followed to the round hips. Long legs, tan in their short skirts. The eyes the all knowing eyes. You have been caught looking more than once. Even the young girl at the lingerie store seems to act differently toward you now.

Has there always been this undercurrent, this just hidden world? Your appearance always important to you has become paramount. You watch, not as closely, the men who pass, knowing that your look still has the effect, that makes you so confident around them. Now you watch their eyes. The ladies, the petite soft eyes moving over your passing frame. New clothes cover you now. More modern. The classic look tossed aside. Heels adorn you constantly now. The walk steady. Skirts and dresses only. Long thin legs flaunted at others. Sweaters and blouses a little tighter, bras seldom worn. Even the thought that another woman might notice you passing brings a thrill that moves over your skin and settles, tightening the light brown flesh of your chest.

Nipples constantly erect, soft fabric constantly moving intensifies the fantastic feelings that even now grow more and more within you.

The breeze across exposed thighs, why had you ever covered your legs. Short skirts hem brushing as material moves with your long confident stride. Looks from men and women, all noticed, seem to force you to stand a little taller. You have found yourself spending more time around groups of people.

Shopping more and more, but noticing the wares less and less. It is the desire to be seen that drives you. To know that the effect that the young ladies has on you, is shared by them. The knowing looks, the electricity passing between you and them. The sly smile, the tilt of the head.

Twice now you have found yourself parked just down the street from the little bar. Sure everyone knows about it, the town is not that big. You have sat and watched the door open and close many times. Day and night the gorgeous and even not so gorgeous women going in and out. No men, they are not welcome here. Once you had even gotten out of the car, thoughts screaming in your head, as you approached the large oak door. But at the last moment just passing by.

This morning as you went through your daily preparations, you caught yourself in the full-length mirror, on the bath door. Naked save for a towel wound in your wet hair. Standing there frozen, seeing all of you in a new light. Comparisons with the young Asian impossible not to make, yet satisfaction that you are still very attractive. Your movements, hesitant, slow and awkward at first. Duplicating the dance that was performed for you. Your eyes trying to see if you measure up. Watching yourself as another might. Hands grazing, hips moving, your eyes taking you in. Your feeling of watching another. Body reacting quickly. Legs opening, cool air passing between. Fingers traveling down. The soft smooth flesh already reacting to your thoughts. Fingers stroking, knees bending slightly, opening fully. You stand and tease the one watching, eyes moving over you like warm honey. Finger moving inside, the warm moistness felt, as if by another. Finger drawn slowly across the engorged bud. A tremble in your legs, an electric shock. Another passing and penetration. The stranger in you tweaking at your nipple. Your thoughts running.

Your desire smoking within you. You watch as you move over the curves. Eyes open only enough to see. Hands and fingers exploring. Lips parted. Bud seen. Swollen pink, as your finger strokes. Hips assisting, movement required. Your assault slow and gentle as was the ladies the other night. You see as she did. You feel what she felt.

There watching you know deep inside that you must know the feeling of the return. The knowing that you can make a woman feel as one did you. Are you gay? The feeling this morning of Tim's sleeping erection pressed against you. The silky smoothness of that totally male flesh, the feeling of its hardness, against you, made you want that too. Gay doubtful, but still desires for a soft touch linger. You bring your wet finger to your lips.

In the mirror you watch as the stranger first passes the moisture over her lips. Smooth, not thick. Tongue moving out to taste edge of lip. Taste wonderful. Finger licked and stroked. The scent soft sexy. Do all women taste the same? Should you even be thinking these thoughts? Your finger moves deep within you again. The digit offered to the stranger in the mirror again. This time taken in as if a man. Sucked gently, tongue moving over the contours. Taste still new, but enjoyed.

Again, and again you repeat, bold now that the barrier has been broken. Eyes watching the stranger perform. All senses assailed. You watch as the lady before you exposes her desires. Treats you to that which is usually not shared. Both hands between your legs. Opening. Dampness on upper thighs. Colors never before noticed. Scent strong, driving you on. Unfolded before you the exposure complete. Finger tracing in small circles. Pleasure moving to a new level. Focused now. Strangers eyes watching. Circles moving never faster. A tempo established. A circle a stroke a circle a stroke. Eyes barely open, hardly able to see the stranger before you. Two fingers going deep, the circling never ending. Stretched taught. Feeling of fullness. Passion growing. You watch as the stranger performs. Your desire moving to the same level as hers. Fingers inside, an internal dance playing out. Movement felt within, constantly changing. Finger still circling and stroking the swollen pink bud. Wetness everywhere. Three fingers moving deep. Still the circling. Almost squatting now, the stranger in the mirror watches. Her movements fluid. Hips against buried fingers. Searching inside.

Hips rising, wet fingers exposed. Hips slowly settling. All watched. Stretched and full, the desire increasing. Closer the salvation comes. Faster the stranger moves. You are so wet, so full, your need so strong. The dance continues. Sweat begins to form on the brow of the stranger. Arms flexed, muscles defined. Legs aching with need. Still she performs. Her sex changing. Her swollen lips taught around the intruders. Still the circling, firmer now. Close, very close. A grind against the fingers, muscles pulling drawing clamping. Clit fully engorged. Finger now stroking. Sensations beginning to explode. You watch ever so close as the stranger, the woman before you, calls out, a long moan, a flood over your contained fingers, a release, an explosion. You watch you absorb, you enjoy. The peak reached. You let your hands drop. Exhausted you fall to the floor.

Eyes closed, laying there, awaiting the return of steady breathing. Heart pounding. Skin, alive on its own. Hips still rocking gently. Languishing in the time after. Leaning up on your elbows, eyes locked in the mirror. The stranger smiling back. Eyes moving over the body echoed by the reflection. Legs open, knees slightly bent. The vision enjoyed. The swollen pink flesh, the light dancing off the wetness. Still partly open, the sensations moving through you. Head back, you start to giggle, the giggle becoming a laugh, the laughter moving to tears. The momentary satisfaction complete.

Another bath soothing. The shower not even a consideration. Skin too sensitive. Scented oils moving over you. Coming down still, slowly from the plateau that you had so recently risen to. Mind wandering. Water warm and comforting. Realizations of buried emotions and desires flooding over you. Acceptance of new thoughts, the release of guilt. Slowly all that had been tied in knots within, washes away with the steam rising in the air. Acceptance brings understanding, understanding confidence. You are beginning to find your way now. Beginning to realize maybe for the first time, a total person within. Sleep overcomes, sleep of contentment.

Arousing slowly,the water cold. Quickly jumping out. A light headednessness felt throughout you. Urgently wrapping in a towel. The towel thick and large almost blanket, surrounding you. Tucked in at the top between your breasts. You move about primping, teeth clean, hair blown dry and simply pulled back. The coolness of opening the door and entering the bedroom again surprises you. Moving to the closet you set about selecting the proper attire for yet another lonely Saturday afternoon. Heels, only about three inches, black. Short black skirt, very short. Silk blouse, white, maybe just a little too thin, but that's ok. A mischievous grin passes. You find yourself enjoying this a little more each time. A conscious decision, black thong panties.

Two young men standing talking in the parking lot. You park near them. Door opening you watch them as they watch you exit the car. Legs opening a little more than necessary, to exit, you notice the appreciative glances. Turning your back, feigning oblivion, you bend at the waist to reach in and retrieve your purse. One more quick look at the two men as you move past. Knowing that they had enjoyed your little dance, put on for their benefit, heightens your spirits. An older gentleman holds the door for you as you enter the mall, a gracious smile, a beam from him in return.