I was relaxing on the beach one sunny afternoon. There was some pretty fantastic scenery wandering around and I was enjoying it. Mind you, it took a bit of effort to keep the old fellow under control so he wouldn't embarrass me.
A couple of the choicest bits of scenery were decorating a couple of towels quite close to me. I know what you're thinking - I chose that spot because of the scenery, but you're wrong. I was actually there first and they set up next to me while I was swimming, but I had no complaints.
The two items of perambulating scenery were blonde and brunette. Young and fit and nicely tanned, they were wearing bikinis that had enough material between the pair of them to make up one set of normal swimwear.
Now while I would have been quite happy to just sit there and stare at them I did have some sense of the social niceties, so nobly refrained from doing so. I was very much aware of them, despite that, and could hear their current discussion quite easily.
The discussion was about money. The brunette was apparently about a hundred short on her rent and didn't know how to come up with it. The blonde didn't see the problem.
"What does it matter if you're a few days late with some of it?" she asked with exasperation. "You're paying in advance, after all, and what you pay on time will put you well ahead."
"I know, but the landlord gets so snarky about it and he's got creepy eyes. I prefer to just pay it all on time and minimise my contact with him."
"Then why don't you just borrow the hundred from your parents or your boyfriend. I mean, you'll be paying it back in a couple of days, so they won't mind."
"Ha! My parents wouldn't mind but it would be stretching their budget and I don't like to ask them. As for Alex, he'd lend it to me but then expect to be screwed every day until I pay it back and even after that as a thank you. I do not want to find myself in a situation where I'm being perpetually fucked."
"I take it you're not particularly enamoured with sex," the blonde said with a laugh.
"I can take it or leave, but would prefer to leave it," was the reply.
"I've told you that it's just that Alex is a crappy lover," said blondie. "You should try someone else. That could be the answer you know."
"What could be?"
"Someone else. Pick up some guy and let him fuck you. Then sell him a sob story and get the hundred off him with promises to repay. Then it's sayonara stranger and here's your rent mister landlord."
"You have got to be joking," gasped the brunette. "That's prostitution."
"Only if you get caught," said the blonde confidently. "And who would ever know. I'll bet lots of girls do it."
"Sure they do. Have you ever done it?"
"I might have," said the blonde with a giggle, "but I'll never admit it."
The conversation lapsed at that stage as the girls turned on some music. I lay back thoughtfully, considering what I'd heard.
A little later the blonde got up, stretched, enjoyed the fact that a hundred eyes swivelled to watch her stretch, and then headed up the beach.
"I'm just going up to get some drinks," she called. "Won't be long."
Watching blondie walk away I waited a few moments and then spoke up.
"I'm someone else."
For a moment I thought my new friend hadn't heard me or intended to ignore me, but then she bit.
"I beg your pardon?" she said. It sounded more like 'how dare you speak to me', but the ice was broken.
I say up and looked at her, letting her see the admiration in my eyes.
"I overheard your conversation with your friend," I explained. "I'd just like to point out that I'm someone you don't currently know and may never meet again, but I have a hundred that I would willingly lend to an intimate friend."
She glared at me, flushed.
"You were eavesdropping on a private conversation," she said coldly. "Didn't you hear me veto that suggestion when you were snooping?"
"Um, no. You appeared a trifle reluctant but you didn't actually dismiss the idea. And you have been thinking about it but you're just not sure that it's right to take an unfair advantage of some poor sucker. That makes me perfect for the role of someone else."
"I was not thinking about it. And why does it make you perfect for the role, anyway?"
"You're not taking unfair advantage of me," I said simply. "I know damn well you intend to vanish with the money, so you won't be cheating me."
"Well, if you think I'm going to have sex with a stranger for money you've got rocks in your head. Forget it."
"Oh, the money is incidental," I said, dismissing a hundred dollars with an airy wave of my hand. "That's not why you're going to do it."
"I'm not going to do it at all," she snapped.
There was a short silence, but something was bugging her.
"Um, if I was going to do it, which I'm not, why would I be doing it?"
"Several reasons. The excitement of doing something that you know you shouldn't. Curiosity as to what it would be like with someone else. The feeling that you've scored one over your blonde friend, even if she doesn't know it. It'll be fun."
She gave me a look, the way women do, and returned to ignoring me.
After a few moments I got up and looked down at her.
"Let's take a walk," I suggested.
"A what?"
"A walk. It's where you place one foot in front of the other as you gently perambulate along the beach."
"Why?" A very suspicious girl.
"Why not? Get a little exercise. See the scenery. Watch the birds and see if you know their names. Come on. Up you get."
She gave a heavy sigh but rose to her feet. I didn't try to hold her hand. She wasn't ready for anything like that. We just ambled along, talking about trifles. Mind you, at one stage she did decide to test my knowledge of birdlife.
She was watching an osprey hovering, and asked me if I knew the various bird's names. I humbly admitted that I did.
"That one," she asked, pointing to the osprey.
"That's George," I told her. "He's waiting for Margaret to get back from the shop with a nice fresh fish."
She punched my arm. Would you believe it? Only just getting acquainted and she assaults me. And called me an idiot. There's no justice in this world.
We were now strolling past the car park where I, by a fortunate coincidence, had happened to park.
"That," I said, indicating my panel van, "is my transport. A very nice vehicle. As you can see from the way it's parked, we could sit comfortably at the back with the door open and watch the birds in comfort. We might even see Margaret bringing George his dinner."
I lightly touched her arm and steered her in the direction of the van. She was dragging her feet slightly, but she came, probably considering it safe enough. I lifted the rear door and dropped the tail gate. The van was nice and clean and I wasn't so gauche as to have a mattress in it. Mind you, there was a very nice piece of carpet on the floor.
We sat on the tailgate, and this time I did tell her a few of the bird types that we could see, starting with the osprey. After a few moments she began to relax again. At least, she relaxed right up to the point when I tried to be helpful.
"It is a bit warm here," I casually mentioned. "If you want to take off your top I won't mind."
Damn right I wouldn't mind, seeing as how her top was an itty bitty bikini top. She blushed.
"Better not," she muttered. "Someone might come past."
"Not really. I'm parked right on the edge. No real room behind. Just shuffle in a bit deeper and no-one will even know you're here."
"I'd better not," she said again, even though she did shuffle a little deeper into the van. "If I do you might get the wrong idea."
"Sweetheart, I already have the wrong idea, or the right one from my point of view."
I reached out and pushed those two skimpy triangles to either side, watching her nipples pop into view. I touched each nipple lightly.
"Take it off," I said, speaking more firmly.
She didn't look at me but she did unhook the top and let it fall.
