Shopping with a Woman Ain't so Bad

"Come on Hon," I groaned while I pushed the cart and watched her zip off into yet another section of the women's apparel section. "How many damn sweaters do you need?"

"Sweetheart... I'm just looking!"

"Jeee-zuz, what is it with women and clothes!" I mumbled, popping another little wheelie with the cart to get that damn broken front wheel aligned again.

"What's that? I didn't hear you?"

"Ah, I said... that one's nice; color of rose!" I didn't think she bought that bullshit, but her cute little wink and wiggle kinda let me know I wasn't in any serious trouble.

Oh, how I hate shopping! I guess I just don't get it, really. I mean aren't women constantly bitching about seeing someone else wearing exactly the same outfit? And look at all this stuff... lots of exactly the same outfits! Who's buying all this stuff anyway! I let my mind roam around that awhile as I watched other women zipping in and out of this or that section, holding the stuff against their chests, picking here and there (through all that stuff that looks exactly the same) as though they'd be the lucky one who really could find something that's not exactly the same as the rest of the stuff. No wonder the men's apparel section is so much smaller. Yep, show me where you keep the whitie-tighties, jeans, t-shirts... that's all I need anyway.

"Oh Todd! Isn't this just the cutest top!" her sweet giggly voice chimed, jerking my train of thought to a sudden stop.

" aw christ," I groaned.

"Huh?"

"I said, yes, it's nice!" and smiled, but I think she knew that was bullshit too! "Ah, Sweetie? Are you almost done here?"

"What's the matter? You don't like spending time with me?"

(Oh shit... here it comes. That 'boo-hoo woe is me bullshit' that always gets me. Why do us guys keep falling for that anyway?)

"No! Oh, no, Sweetie... it's not that, really! I just thought if you're going to be here awhile, I'll go over to the sporting goods department; maybe swing by automotive and get some oil for the car." (Yeah, right, she wasn't buying that line either!)

"Oh, okay, Hon-ney! I just wanna look around some more." And then she winked again with one of those little 'toodle-oo' kind of finger waves.

(Uh-oh, she's up to something. That was just too easy! And how the hell did we end up in the lingerie department anyway!)

"You sure? I mean, I don't mind staying here with you, really!"

"No, no... that's okay. You gone on, I'll catch up," she pretended to pout as she held a pair of green bikini panties in front of her jeans, not even turning around to look at my totally dumb-founded Homer Simpson look.

(Aw, God... don't do that! You don't need to hold that bra like that too!)

Suddenly, checking out those new waders and fishing gear didn't seem like such a good idea. And as far as oil for the car, well, I figured I could just get some later... I mean, just because we damn near blew the engine that one time because 'somebody' wasn't checking the oil regularly...

While I debated in my mind the pros and cons of leaving her alone there, she had moved on to the nighties. Now, of course she has tons of them already, and why, I don't know, since she somehow never seems to get around to wearing any of them, but, I don't complain about that... skin-on-skin spooning is just fine with me!

Ever notice that us guys get a hard-on at the most inconvenient times? Well, standing there in the women's intimate apparel section was that inconvenient time for me. And I didn't even care! She was off in her own little world there, holding up a sexy shred of a thing against her body, swaying a little back and forth as she admired the garment in the mirror by the rack. I couldn't help myself. Whether or not she was thinking what I was thinking this time, I couldn't tell, but I knew that what I was thinking would drive me nuts if I didn't do something about it. I snuck around the other side of the dividing wall between those intimate things and handbags and accessories, careful to make sure she didn't see me. Then, like some junior high school peeper, I slipped in behind her and snuggled up to her. I think she figured out what I had been thinking; she could feel my jeans-covered boner riding up the crack of her jeans-covered (tight jeans-covered) ass, and without the slightest hint of modesty, she grabbed it... I nearly creamed my jeans!

"Mmmmm," she moaned softly when I pushed her hair off her shoulders, and kissed her lightly on the back of her neck. Her grip on my dick tightened as my hands found her tummy.

"I want you... NOW!" I whispered.

"I know," she whispered back. "Why do you think I'm standing so close to the dressing rooms?'

And before I could use my standard 'Oh you little sneak!' line when she does those unexpected delightful things, she had me by the wrist and was practically dragging me and my stumbling, weak-kneed legs along behind her. (I'm sure glad Waldo-Mart uses real doors now instead of those curtains on the dressing rooms!) In no time at all, she was yanking my weak-kneed legs free of my pant legs while I was yanking her over-sized sweater over her head. Standing inside that little box of a room, completely naked, we embraced tightly and kissed deeply, and fiercely. Her nipples hardened against me, creating waves of goosebumps beneath my chest hair as my hard-on stiffened even more against her pelvis. I was almost certain she'd drawn blood across my back the way her nails clawed me there, but a quick glance in one of the mirrors only showed it to be reddened, like lines of hickies. I squeezed her ass cheeks as her hands danced down my torso.

"Take me... NOW!" she whispered, and ravished my mouth with hers one more time before I picked her up then turned around to sit on the bench.

We must've looked like two raging hormone teenagers in the back seat of a '66 Cutlass F-85 as we maneuvered into the reverse cowgirl position. I held her waist while she straddled my thighs, her wetness dripping onto my waiting pre-cum smeared cock, then with oh-so-slow-motion elegance, she spread her legs and settled herself down onto me. All... the... way... down. Tight. Wet. Hot. I kissed and licked her spine, and fondled and squeezed her breasts, pinching her nipples each time her pussy squeezed my shaft on her downward plunges.

"I'm..." I gasped.

"Me too," she moaned, laying her head back on my shoulder. "Hold me tight."

Our rhythm quickened, as did our heart rates and breathing... and with one more swift, deep thrust, I exploded inside her. I felt her stream flow around my balls only seconds later, as her once tense body suddenly became limp against me.

"You are wonderful," I whispered when my breaths were finally normal again.

"WE are wonderful!" she corrected me, with that cute little wink.