Shocking The Family

Note: This is a sequel to my earlier "Theory and Practise". You don't have to have read that, but if you're going to, you may want to read it first.

*

I was in bed with Nina when the phone rang.

That wasn't the plan, I should say; after all, I was expecting the call. But when Nina showed up in one of her bouncy moods and announced that she'd been reading in a book about oral sex, and there were some things she wanted to test -- well, it would have taken a lot stronger man than me to turn her down. So I was naked and she (still fully dressed) was paying thoughtful attention to my cock, when my mobile started chirping.

Fortunately, I'd left it on the bedside table, so I answered it. Which probably sounds kind of weird -- and probably was -- but I know what my mother gets like when I don't answer, and I'd been psyching myself up for this conversation, and at that precise moment the effects of Nina's experiments were being pleasant rather than orgasmic. And maybe I was showing off to Nina, or myself.

"Hi Mum," I said, and "great," and "fine," and "it's being very interesting," and "no, I hadn't forgotten..."

Then came the bit where I had to spring something, and to mention something she didn't know already. "Actually," I said, "I know it's a bit last-minute, but do you think it'd be okay if I brought a friend to the wedding?"

Nina looked at me, and possibly had the grace to look a bit embarrassed as well as amused. Then she went back to work, although she'd already achieved some dramatic results.

"Yes, a girlfriend," I confirmed. "I mean, could you talk to Auntie Cleo? Nina says she'd like to meet the family, and this sounds like a good opportunity ... Yeah, you'll like her. Yes, she's great."

She also happens to be holding my hard-on very gently between her teeth at this precise moment,

I didn't add. "Umm, she's... Look, I'll e-mail you a picture if you like. Yeah, I can do that -- get Linda to show you how it works... You will? That's great! Thanks, Mum..."

I managed to get to the end of the call without whimpering once, for which I reckoned I deserved a medal, and even put the phone down without breaking it. Nina withdrew her head ever-so-gently (while still supporting my cock at its base with her hand), and grinned at me. "Blagged the invite?" she asked.

"Mum says she'll have a word with my Aunt -- I get the impression that there's a bit of space."

"Good. I'll look forward to it." She angled her head. "And you think that your family will be okay with me?" she asked, meaning

Will they take me as I am?

-- her favourite question.

"My parents will be cool with us," I said, meaning

They're not stupid, and they'll not be too worried about their only son having a sex life.

As for the rest of my family -- well, we'd see.

"Good. And I promise not to embarrass you."

I knew that she meant this. It's just that Nina has her own way of doing things. This was, bear in mind, the girl who was in danger of being pushed out of the university goth clique for being too weird. Admittedly, at least half of the problem there was that she was going out with me, and a lot of the rest was about her sometimes going out in public in the bright pink dress she wore for her fifteenth birthday party -- but the dress did rather clash with her bleached hairstyle and nose ring. She didn't have a full set of gothic parent-scaring features, mind you; when I first met her, she didn't even have any tattoos. However, since depriving me of my virginity (at the cost of her own), she'd had a single small cherry inscribed onto the outside of her left buttock. "Like a fighter pilot," as she put it with a sweet smile. She smirked if she ever caught me checking that it was still alone.

In short, though, there was only one thing that worried me more than how my parents might react to her, and that was how she'd feel if I

didn't

introduce them to her, sooner or later. And this was going to be my chance.

"Anyway," she said, "do you like this?"

"You can see that I do!"

"Good. It's kind of interesting to watch." She went back to working carefully with her lips and tongue, until I was more or less quivering.

"Hey," I gasped, "if you want anything for yourself, you're going to have to do something about it soon. I can't hold out much longer."

Her response was to move her head away and look at my erection kind of critically. Then she darted in again and ran her tongue slowly up the length of it, from balls to tip.

She barely had time to lift her head away before I came, spurting frantically and groaning as she continued to hold the base. Then she nodded, grabbed a couple of tissues, and gently mopped up the mess.

"Okay, I'll take that as a Don't Bother," I said.

"What gives you that idea?" she snapped. "There's another chapter." She tossed me the book. "Page seventy-eight. You should be able to digest the basics while I'm in getting ready." She dropped her thick-framed glasses on the bedside table and began to strip off.

I didn't have time to read the chapter, in fact, so I had to improvise quite a bit. Fortunately, Nina was happy to tell me when I was getting things right and when I wasn't, and within a few minutes, I found myself kneeling on the floor, her thighs clamped around my head, my face buried in her pussy. Equally fortunately, Nina had apparently found her experiments with my cock to be a turn-on, and liked having her clitoris teased by my lips and tongue. She squealed her way to an orgasm before I ran out of breath, then grinned at me as I lay down on the bed beside her.

"Anyway," she said, "you've told me about your parents and your little sister, but you've never said anything about this cousin who's getting married."

"Colin? I don't know him very well. He's a few years older than me, and we don't have a lot in common. Works in a bank."

"How did he meet this girl?"

"In church, I think. He's quite religious."

"Ooh -- Catholic schoolgirl, is she?"

"Methodist, so far as I know, and close to Colin's age. And from what I've heard about him, I doubt that she's the naughty girl type. Like I said, he's religious."

Nina stared at me. "You mean she..." she said, in a passable American accent.

"Uh-huh," I replied, as breathily as I could manage. "Yeah, the whole

Rocky Horror Picture Show

opening scene thing, quite likely."

"Wow. Poor kids."

I shrugged "Their choice."

"I guess. Remind me at the reception not to stand between them and the getaway car. I don't wanna be trampled."

The wedding was a couple of weeks later, in which time I managed to catch a photo of Nina looking intelligent but not surly, in her usual glasses and favourite long black coat. I e-mailed it to my parents, and received a "She looks nice" reply and confirmation that Aunt Cleo had made space at the wedding. We caught the train home on the Friday night, but we had to set out late, and then we missed a connection, so it was very late by the time we straggled in. My parents were waiting at the station, and smiled nicely enough and didn't make any strange noises when they saw Nina, so I decided that I might survive the weekend. There was a bit of dinner waiting for us at home, and everything would have felt very cosy if it wasn't for my little sister, who only wandered into the room as we finished eating.

"Hi, you," I said. I was genuinely pleased to see her; we'd mostly got over the squabbling-kids crap years ago, and progressed to sharing a few jokes about Mum and Dad. Now, though, she just scowled at me.

"Hello," she said flatly.

"This is Nina," I tried. "Nina, this is Linda..."

Nina pulled her best sweet smile -- she can do that, it just requires conscious effort -- but Linda didn't react much -- not even a stare like Nina's hairstyle (a dead white ponytail) sometimes triggers. She mumbled a hello and wandered out of the room again.

"Sorry about that. I don't know what's got into her lately," Mum said to me. "She used to get on so well with you."

"How old did you say she was?" Nina asked.

"Thirteen," I said.

"Oh well. She'll still be at the stage of thinking that sex is gross. And she probably reckoned that her one and favourite big brother was going to be around forever -- then he went away to university, and came back with a girlfriend. She'll get over it."

"Umm, well, yes," said my mother, looking slightly startled. "Anyway, you'll be tired..."

With a certain amount of nervous flutteriness, she showed both of us up to my old bedroom, told us to make ourselves comfortable, and scurried out, closing the door behind her. Nina looked at the door and smiled.

"She's nice," she said, and stripped naked in seconds flat, before pulling her pink dressing gown out of her luggage and asking where the bathroom was.

The next morning, I woke up to find enough daylight coming through the curtains to show Nina sitting up and looking at me with a smile. "I like your room," she said.

"Good." I rubbed my eyes, and she shrugged and got out of bed, still naked, and started wandering around, looking at things. I just sat up in bed watching her. She was nice to watch.

She was just peering carefully around the curtains, saying something about the neighbourhood, when the door opened. "Morning -- we're just geyeeeeuurgh."

The door slammed shut again. "We're just going out as usual," my dad called from the other side. "Help yourself to breakfast."

"Fine, thanks," I called in reply.

Nina glanced at the door. "Did your dad just check out my arse?" she demanded.

"Only very briefly, and completely by accident. I'm afraid that he never did get the hang of knocking before he came in. It probably explains a lot about me."

"Huh?"

"It made some ordinary adolescent behaviour a bit more traumatic," I admitted.

"Oooh. Oh well. What did he mean by 'going out as usual,' anyway?"

"Oh, him and Mum always go shopping on Saturday mornings. A family wedding and a guest aren't going to change that. They always used to drag me and Linda along. It took me years to get out of it."

"Right." As if on cue, the front door opened and closed and we heard the car start outside. "So we should be alone in the house now, right?"

"Yep."

"Thank god for that. I did promise not to embarrass you in front of your family, and I don't know how thick these walls are."

"Oh, right..." She got back onto the bed, lying on her side, and I rolled onto mine, and we just held each other for a moment. But she squirmed against me, especially below waist level, knowing perfectly well what effect that would have. I reached down to cup her pussy in my right hand, just slightly probing with my fingertips, and she squirmed some more, then began nibbling at my shoulders, not quite hard enough to hurt.

"Just a sec," I said, and scrabbled in my bag for a condom. Nina put it on me, then giggled a little and lay back, moving her legs apart. I got between them, and she guided me where I was needed. Then I began to push in, slowly, trying to tease her a bit -- so she reacted by grabbing my hips and pulling me in.

We began to move together, and I lifted myself above her, concentrating on the hip moves that I was working out worked for her. She responded by tweaking at my nipples with her black-painted fingernails. We were both getting too bloody good at this; we could drive each other wild in minutes flat if we tried. Still, sometimes, a good brisk fuck just felt like the way to start the day. I managed to hold off until she came with a series of sharp gasps, then came with a groan of my own. I was still holding myself above her, though, maintaining the position by sheer will, with the incentive of being able to leer down at her perky breasts. She grinned.

"Hey, big brother, you can't stay in bed all dayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!"

The door, which had burst open again, slammed shut again, and I heard footsteps retreating down the stairs at the run. Nina and I both paused.

"Seems like Linda doesn't go shopping with my parents any more," I said.

"Crap," said Nina, "I think we've just traumatised your little sister."

"My bloody family need to get the hang of privacy," I said.

We pulled some clothes on and made our own way downstairs. There, we found Linda sitting, quietly sobbing. I hadn't had to deal with this sort of thing much before.

"Hey," said Nina, "good morning."

"Oh god," Linda choked out, "oh god, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry about it. Just an accident. Just knock next time, right?"

Linda looked up, her eyes red. "You must hate me!" she said.

"Hate you? Course not," I said.

"You didn't mind -- me seeing that?" she choked out.

"I dunno about

didn't mind

," said Nina, "but hey, it's just people doing people stuff, you know?"

"People stuff?"

"Well, grown-up people stuff. Nothing for you to worry about just now."

"But... But what you were doing. You

must

be angry!"

Nina patted her on the shoulder. "Actually, kid, if that's the worst thing that anybody ever sees me doing, I'll have got away with one fuck of a lot."

Linda giggled nervously. "Really?" she asked.

"Really," said Nina, and threw me a theatrical wink.

By the time that my parents came back from shopping, we'd got Linda calmed down and looking her usual self, if a bit subdued, and Nina and I had eaten breakfast. We said hello, and then slipped back upstairs to get changed for the wedding. I had my one good suit with me, and Nina rummaged in her bag and surfaced with a mid-grey, knee-length satin dress, maybe faintly goth but really quite conservative.

"Wow," I said, "the depths of your wardrobe continue to amaze me."

Nina scowled at me. "I did promise not to embarrass you," she reminded me.

I put my hands up in surrender. "Okay, you're a woman of her word."

"Yeah." Nina rummaged around in her bag again. "If it makes you feel vindicated, I'll be wearing these." She produced a pair of black ankle-boots, low-heeled but somehow ever so slightly kinky.

The wedding was taking place in a church across town, and we piled into the family car and rolled over there in good time. We tucked ourselves into a back pew, and while Mum and Dad waved to various relatives, I gave Nina a quick run-down on their names and known weird habits. Linda was still subdued, but she hissed a couple of corrections to me, so I decided that she was recovering from her shock.

The wedding ceremony went much as usual for these things, though I had a problem keeping a straight face when the bride arrived and Linda muttered something about meringues. I did know what the bride's name was, but after a few minutes, Nina and I found ourselves referring to her as, simply, the Bride -- for me at least, because that felt safer than thinking of her as the Meringue. We'd been trying to cut back on the movie quotes recently, but sometimes we lapsed. I don't know if anyone who heard us caught the

Kill Bill

reference, but possibly not; while the Bride was certainly blonde, and nice enough to look at in her way, she certainly didn't have

Uma Thurman's athletic figure. Not that I have anything against well-rounded, sometimes, but, well, Nina had left me fixated on skinny and lithe. The dress had no doubt cost a packet, and it extended her some way in every direction.

The reception, though, threatened to be a bit of a chore. Both the couple's immediate families were serious Methodists, so the whole thing was alcohol-free, while the food was tasteless chicken. The five of us were stuck at a table with a couple of ageing friends of the family who looked at Nina like she had two heads and chainsaw. She just smiled sweetly back at that, but those smiles do cost her an effort, and I had a nasty feeling that she was going to crack and turn sarcastic sooner or later.

I was just wondering where I could go hide if Nina did find a chainsaw somewhere, when I noticed that she, Mum, and Linda had all disappeared. I looked at Dad, but he just shrugged and asked me about university. The three of them were gone for a while, but before I could get puzzled, I noticed that there seemed to be some kind of major conference going on the at the top table. Cousin Colin and his parents were deep in discussion with the bride's family, and everyone was looking round like they'd lost something.

"Should be the speeches soon," Dad muttered.

"There seems to be some sort of glitch," I pointed out.

"Hmm. I see what you mean. They seem to have lost the bride."

He was right; that was the figure that was missing from that group. One or two of them scurried off in different directions with evident intent to search, and the bride's mother was looking like she was chewing on a lemon. After a while, other people round the room began to notice, and the buzz of conversation changed in tone, beginning to sound interested.

Then, the emergency ended. The Bride slipped back into the room -- through the main doors, mind -- and floated back up to the top table like a top-heavy white hovercraft, smiling sweetly and evidently brushing off questions from her family and her new husband. So, after she was settled down, the interminable speeches began.

In all this, nobody except me seemed to notice that the women of my own group had returned at the same time, Nina slipping into her seat with a smile as sweet as the Bride's. As the best man began waffling, she leaned over to me. "Thanks again," she whispered in my ear.

"What for?" I whispered back.

"For deflowering me. It really was cool."

I practised my poker face for the next few minutes, but I didn't catch much of the speeches -- which was probably just as well for my sanity -- as I tried to work out what that was about. I also noticed that Mum was muttering a few words to Dad when she got the chance, and Linda was just looking thoughtful.

Then the speeches were done and the cake was cut, and everybody got a chance to wander away from the tables. I kept trying to ask Nina where she'd been, but she kept brushing me off. So I asked Linda the same question.

"I can't tell you," she said, "it's private. Not private for me, I mean, but I

promised

."

My kid sister turning down a chance to gossip? Definitely weird.

While I was chewing on that, there was another kerfuffle. "Come on," said Dad, "gotta wave the happy couple off."

We trouped outside after him, but when we got there, Nina grabbed my arm and dragged me around the side of the building. "Just a sec," she said, pushed me up against the wall, and pushed her mouth up against mine. She ran her hands up and down me, more frantically than sexily -- though it was quite fun for me even so -- and then pulled away once my suit was disarrayed a bit. "That'll do," she said, then reached up, tousled my hair, and pulled a couple of strands of her own loose. "Got an image to maintain," she said, grabbed my hand, and pulled me back to join the mob, where a couple of aunts and cousins noticed and gave us dirty looks.

That was when I realized that Cousin Colin's blushing bride was down to do the full throwing-the-bouquet thing. I looked nervously at Nina; it wasn't that I didn't like her, you understand, it was just ... okay, it was just that I didn't know what she'd do if she caught the damned thing. Probably ceremonially burn it in public. But she stood with her arms firmly folded, glaring defiantly at the bride -- who I'd swear smiled slightly, before throwing the bouquet in a different direction, where it was caught by a thirty-something guest who I didn't know.

After that, things naturally just wound down, though it took a while. I did notice that Linda was looking at Nina a bit differently, though; still not exactly friendly, but with a bit more interest -- and she spent a few moments chatting to a couple of other relatives of about her age, after which, their sneaked stares at Nina were mixed with giggles. Nina just smiled back at that, though, seeming almost to join in the fun. Mum was being especially nice to her, too.